MB's Own Election for Alabama Senator

Lisnaholic · 12-12-2017, 05:43 AM

As I did for the US General Election, I thought it might be interesting if MB had its own parallel election; this time for the Alabama Senate race. The Republicans and Democrats are engaged in such a close battle for seats and support that this local election is being watched with fascination by the entire country, not to say the world, but for anyone not following the news, here’s a quick summary or C.V. of the candidates:

Roy Moore (Republican):
> Banned from local mall for being so pervy he was frightening customers away
> Accused of paedophilia or sexual harrassment by nine women
> Banned from local YMCA for soliciting sex from young girls
> Has made this comment about the last time America was great: “ I think it was great at the time when families were united, even though we had slavery”
> Considers that being gay should be a criminal offense
> Regrets the fact that women were given the right to vote
> Is commited to repealing Obamacare
> Removed from office of Chief Justice (twice) after being found guilty of violating judicial ethics.

Doug Jones (Democrat):
> None of the above

Well, that’s my balanced, impartial assessment of the candidates, so let’s get voting. Like the real election, you’ve only got one day to do it, and all votes will remain confidential, until they are hacked by the Russians and published by wikileaks.

rubber soul · 12-12-2017, 05:53 AM

You might add that Doug Jones supports abortion rights, not popular in Alabama and Alabama happens to be a fairly homophobic state as homosexuality is clearly unchristian.

This really will be a test to see if people, and Alabamans in particular, really do believe in God. If Roy Moore wins, and I'm pretty sure he will, it will prove they don't think he really exists. If Doug Jones or a write in (presumably Luther Strange) wins, well, maybe there's hope for humanity after all.

But I have a feeling if Satan were a Republican with Moore's stances and Jesus Christ ran as a Democrat on Jones' platform, Satan would still win and they'd find some logic in the bible somehow. It's a shame too really. The couple times I was in Alabama were fairly pleasant and I'm a flaming liberal.

~~[MERIT]~~ · 12-12-2017, 06:36 AM

Fuck a 2-party system and its illusion of choice.

OccultHawk · 12-12-2017, 06:41 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by [MERIT]

Fuck a 2-party system and its illusion of choice.

Church

Chula Vista · 12-12-2017, 06:53 AM

More church. Favorite bit from last night's discussions.

Question: So who are you going to vote for?
Answer: Roy Moore all the way baby!
Question: With all that's currently surrounding him, why are you so enthusiastic about him?
Answer: Because he will fight to save the children from abortions.
Question: How do you feel about the fact he's accused of stalking, preying upon, and abusing some of those children?
Answer: Uhm, *stammers*, long pause: Because he supports my religious beliefs!

I almost fell out of my chair.

**Janszoon** · 12-12-2017, 06:59 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Lisnaholic

Doug Jones (Democrat):
> None of the above

Also, Jones was the prosecutor who got two KKK members sentenced to life in prison for murdering four little girls in the infamous 16th Street Baptist Church bombing.

Trollheart · 12-12-2017, 07:01 AM

I vote for my cat!

**Frownland** · 12-12-2017, 08:01 AM

Other: Pretend to be an illegal alien and get a free ride to Mexico.

~~MicShazam~~ · 12-12-2017, 08:40 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by [MERIT]

Fuck a 2-party system and its illusion of choice.

True. Every time I feel like saying people who voted for Trump are stupid, I force myself to remember what their alternative was. It was just two really horrible options.

The whole political system of the US should be changed from the ground up. Don't ask me how though.

OccultHawk · 12-12-2017, 09:41 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Janszoon

Also, Jones was the prosecutor who got two KKK members sentenced to life in prison for murdering four little girls in the infamous 16th Street Baptist Church bombing.

Respect.

View Poll Results: My vote for Alabama Senator goes to...
Democrtat Doug Jones	12	38.71%
Republican Roy Moore	13	41.94%
Other	6	19.35%
Voters: 31. You may not vote on this poll

12-12-2017, 05:43 AM	#1 (permalink)
Lisnaholic ...here to hear... Join Date: Nov 2010 Location: He lives on Love Street Posts: 4,444	MB's Own Election for Alabama Senator As I did for the US General Election, I thought it might be interesting if MB had its own parallel election; this time for the Alabama Senate race. The Republicans and Democrats are engaged in such a close battle for seats and support that this local election is being watched with fascination by the entire country, not to say the world, but for anyone not following the news, here’s a quick summary or C.V. of the candidates: Roy Moore (Republican): > Banned from local mall for being so pervy he was frightening customers away > Accused of paedophilia or sexual harrassment by nine women > Banned from local YMCA for soliciting sex from young girls > Has made this comment about the last time America was great: “ I think it was great at the time when families were united, even though we had slavery” > Considers that being gay should be a criminal offense > Regrets the fact that women were given the right to vote > Is commited to repealing Obamacare > Removed from office of Chief Justice (twice) after being found guilty of violating judicial ethics. Doug Jones (Democrat): > None of the above Well, that’s my balanced, impartial assessment of the candidates, so let’s get voting. Like the real election, you’ve only got one day to do it, and all votes will remain confidential, until they are hacked by the Russians and published by wikileaks. __________________ "Am I enjoying this moment? I know of it and perhaps that is enough." - Sybille Bedford, 1953

12-12-2017, 06:53 AM	#5 (permalink)
Chula Vista Toasted Poster Join Date: Oct 2014 Location: SoCal by way of Boston Posts: 11,332	More church. Favorite bit from last night's discussions. Question: So who are you going to vote for? Answer: Roy Moore all the way baby! Question: With all that's currently surrounding him, why are you so enthusiastic about him? Answer: Because he will fight to save the children from abortions. Question: How do you feel about the fact he's accused of stalking, preying upon, and abusing some of those children? Answer: Uhm, stammers, long pause: Because he supports my religious beliefs! I almost fell out of my chair. __________________ “The fact that we live at the bottom of a deep gravity well, on the surface of a gas covered planet going around a nuclear fireball 90 million miles away and think this to be normal is obviously some indication of how skewed our perspective tends to be.” Last edited by Chula Vista; 12-12-2017 at 07:04 AM.

12-12-2017, 07:01 AM	#7 (permalink)
Trollheart Born to be mild Join Date: Oct 2008 Location: 404 Not Found Posts: 26,970	I vote for my cat! __________________ Trollheart: Signature-free since April 2018

12-12-2017, 08:01 AM	#8 (permalink)
Frownland SOPHIE FOREVER Join Date: Aug 2011 Location: East of the Southern North American West Posts: 35,548	Other: Pretend to be an illegal alien and get a free ride to Mexico. __________________ Studies show that when a given norm is changed in the face of the unchanging, the remaining contradictions will parallel the truth. d e a f b o x

12-12-2017, 06:36 AM	#3 (permalink)
~~[MERIT]~~ Account Disabled Join Date: Nov 2004 Location: Missouri, USA Posts: 4,814	Fuck a 2-party system and its illusion of choice.