Dad Jokes

Key · 06-07-2016, 11:13 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by pansy gayboy 69

well isn't that shocking you're always disappointed or mad or telling me to **** OFF

Now you get it.

kibbeh · 06-07-2016, 11:14 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Ki

Now you get it.

i really don't.

The Batlord · 06-07-2016, 11:18 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by pansy gayboy 69

bitches i got an A for my igcse english exam and a 8.0 on my IELTS

I don't know what the **** all that means, but it sure as hell ain't the Queen's english.

Quote:

Originally Posted by pansy gayboy 69

i really don't.

lol

kibbeh · 06-07-2016, 11:24 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by The Batlord

I don't know what the **** all that means, but it sure as hell ain't the Queen's english.

her english is gay as **** anyway so what

Plankton · 06-07-2016, 11:25 AM

A man once asked God: "What is a million years to you?"
God replied "A second."
The man then asked God: "What is a million dollars to you?"
God replied "A penny."
The man then asked God: "Can I have a penny?"
God replied: "Sure, in a second."

Key · 06-07-2016, 11:26 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Plankton

A man once asked God: "What is a million years to you?"
God replied "A second."
The man then asked God: "What is a million dollars to you?"
God replied "A penny."
The man then asked God: "Can I have a penny?"
God replied: "Sure, in a second."

Chula Vista · 06-07-2016, 01:54 PM

Josey wasn't the best pupil at Sunday school. She often fell asleep and one day while she was sleeping, the teacher asked her a question. "Who is the creator of the universe?" Joe was sitting next to Josey and decided to poke her with a pin to wake her up. Josey jumped and yelled, "God almighty!" The teacher congratulated her. A little later the teacher asked her another question, "Tell me who is our lord and savior?" Joe poked Josey again and she yelled out, "Jesus Christ!" The teacher congratulated her again. Later on the teacher asked, "What did Eve say to Adam after their 26th child?" Joe poked Josey again and she shouted, "If you stick that thing in me again, I'll snap it in half and stick it up your ass!"

Blank. · 06-10-2016, 03:21 PM

A man walks into a bar. And says to the bartender, "bet you one free beer I can make that horse laugh." The bartender takes the bet and the man whispers something into the horses ear and it laughs.

The man gets his free beer and drinks it. Once he's done with the beer he says to the bartender, "I bet you another free beer I can make that horse cry." The bartender takes the bet. The man stands in front of the horse and makes a movement. The horse begins to cry.

The man gets his free beer and starts to drink it. The bartender, bewildered, asks, "How did you get the horse to laugh?"

"Told the horse I have a bigger dick than him."

"How did you get the horse to cry?"

"Showed him."

Trollheart · 11-28-2016, 11:14 AM

Now that I'm back, time to plague you all again...

Sandwich walks into a bar. Barman scowls and says "We don't serve your kind here!"

DwnWthVwls · 01-20-2017, 09:18 AM

What kinda music do you windmills listen to?

They're big metal fans.

06-07-2016, 11:25 AM	#155 (permalink)
Plankton Just Keep Swimming... Join Date: Apr 2012 Location: See signature... Posts: 7,766	A man once asked God: "What is a million years to you?" God replied "A second." The man then asked God: "What is a million dollars to you?" God replied "A penny." The man then asked God: "Can I have a penny?" God replied: "Sure, in a second." __________________ See location...

06-07-2016, 01:54 PM	#157 (permalink)
Chula Vista Toasted Poster Join Date: Oct 2014 Location: SoCal by way of Boston Posts: 11,332	Josey wasn't the best pupil at Sunday school. She often fell asleep and one day while she was sleeping, the teacher asked her a question. "Who is the creator of the universe?" Joe was sitting next to Josey and decided to poke her with a pin to wake her up. Josey jumped and yelled, "God almighty!" The teacher congratulated her. A little later the teacher asked her another question, "Tell me who is our lord and savior?" Joe poked Josey again and she yelled out, "Jesus Christ!" The teacher congratulated her again. Later on the teacher asked, "What did Eve say to Adam after their 26th child?" Joe poked Josey again and she shouted, "If you stick that thing in me again, I'll snap it in half and stick it up your ass!" __________________ “The fact that we live at the bottom of a deep gravity well, on the surface of a gas covered planet going around a nuclear fireball 90 million miles away and think this to be normal is obviously some indication of how skewed our perspective tends to be.”

11-28-2016, 11:14 AM	#159 (permalink)
Trollheart Born to be mild Join Date: Oct 2008 Location: 404 Not Found Posts: 26,970	Now that I'm back, time to plague you all again... Sandwich walks into a bar. Barman scowls and says "We don't serve your kind here!" __________________ Trollheart: Signature-free since April 2018

06-10-2016, 03:21 PM	#158 (permalink)
Blank. Jacob Sartorius Join Date: May 2016 Location: Dank memes Posts: 4,034	A man walks into a bar. And says to the bartender, "bet you one free beer I can make that horse laugh." The bartender takes the bet and the man whispers something into the horses ear and it laughs. The man gets his free beer and drinks it. Once he's done with the beer he says to the bartender, "I bet you another free beer I can make that horse cry." The bartender takes the bet. The man stands in front of the horse and makes a movement. The horse begins to cry. The man gets his free beer and starts to drink it. The bartender, bewildered, asks, "How did you get the horse to laugh?" "Told the horse I have a bigger dick than him." "How did you get the horse to cry?" "Showed him."