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Old 04-15-2017, 03:06 PM   #171 (permalink)
Zum Henker Defätist!!
 
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Originally Posted by Chula Vista View Post
Third line is a damning condemnation of Turbo.
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There is only one bright spot and that is the growing habit of disgruntled men of dynamiting factories and power-stations; I hope that, encouraged now as ‘patriotism’, may remain a habit! But it won’t do any good, if it is not universal.
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Old 04-15-2017, 09:05 PM   #172 (permalink)
Ask me how!
 
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Quote:
Originally Posted by The Batlord View Post
Third line is a damning condemnation of Turbo.
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Old 04-15-2017, 09:11 PM   #173 (permalink)
Key
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I just farted in my wallet. Now I have gas money.

The oldest computer can be traced back to Adam and Eve.
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Old 05-27-2017, 07:57 PM   #174 (permalink)
Fck Ths Thngs
 
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Originally Posted by elphenor View Post
I'd vote for Trump
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Old 06-04-2017, 01:23 PM   #175 (permalink)
The Aerosol in your Soul
 
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"A lion will never drive drunk, but a tiger wood."
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Old 06-09-2017, 10:32 AM   #176 (permalink)
Just Keep Swimming...
 
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Old 06-15-2017, 11:44 AM   #177 (permalink)
Born to be mild
 
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Some police-themed ones:

A mysterious hole has appeared in the middle of Main Street. Police are looking into it.

The theft of the police dogs from the 19th Precinct has left police baffled. They admit they have no leads.

Responding to the removal during the night of their toilets from the station, police commented "We have nothing to go on."

A spate of robberies at shellfish restaurants has rocked the city in the last two weeks. Police have appealed for clam.

Police admit it is proving difficult to investigate the robbery at the School for the Blind, as no eye-witnesses have come forward.
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Old 06-29-2017, 01:34 PM   #178 (permalink)
Born to be mild
 
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Two flies standing on a bald man's head. Father fly says to his son "You know, son, I remember when all this was fields."
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Old 06-29-2017, 02:04 PM   #179 (permalink)
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A diver got fired for being too superficial.
In the end, he got re-hired because he was good enough at the bottom.

---

A man comes into a taxi, carrying a hotdog in one hand.
Driver: "Hey, this is not a restaurant!"
Man: "Yeah I know that. That's why I'm bringing my own food."

---

"Waiter, I'd like to get a table."

"Sorry sir, we don't sell the furniture."
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Old 06-29-2017, 02:42 PM   #180 (permalink)
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Sandwich walks into a bar, barman says "Sorry, we don't serve sandwiches."
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