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Old 07-17-2015, 11:12 AM   #1 (permalink)
deathtaxesh!tstorms
 
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Default Frownland's Aleoteric Advice Arena

Step one: you ask me a question.
Step two: I perform a chance operation that will decide some element of my answer.
Step three: I construct an appropriate answer using the criteria established in step two.

So tell me MB, what ails you?
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Old 07-17-2015, 11:15 AM   #2 (permalink)
dank memer
 
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My stomach feels utterly awful after a night of drinking followed by projectile spewing

Dearest Frownland, what is your advice for me to feel better?
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You are literally hitler.
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Old 07-17-2015, 11:18 AM   #3 (permalink)
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Frownland, YorkeDaddy won't put out no matter how many times I get sexy for him. What can I do to make him love me? Don't suggest poison or sleep aids as I've already tried and failed.
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Old 07-17-2015, 11:20 AM   #4 (permalink)
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Dear Frownland,

I've been drinking a lot of chocolate milk lately. Will my boobs get bigger, or does the syrup counteract the growth hormones of a pure American vitamin D cow juice?

Sincerely,

So Serious
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Old 07-17-2015, 11:44 AM   #5 (permalink)
deathtaxesh!tstorms
 
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Method: random number generator determining the length of my responses. The range (1-57) was determined using the I Ching.

Quote:
Originally Posted by YorkeDaddy View Post
My stomach feels utterly awful after a night of drinking followed by projectile spewing

Dearest Frownland, what is your advice for me to feel better?
Integer: 23

I would recommend sleeping or doing drugs to keep the party going. You can always suck it up and deal with it, too.

Quote:
Originally Posted by Ki View Post
Frownland, YorkeDaddy won't put out no matter how many times I get sexy for him. What can I do to make him love me? Don't suggest poison or sleep aids as I've already tried and failed.
Integer: 20

You should wait until he is hungover from a night of drinking and revive him.
Then he'll be all yours.

Quote:
Originally Posted by Carpe Mortem View Post
Dear Frownland,

I've been drinking a lot of chocolate milk lately. Will my boobs get bigger, or does the syrup counteract the growth hormones of a pure American vitamin D cow juice?

Sincerely,

So Serious
Integer: 22

If you drink enough your boobs will gain weight and grow in size along with the rest of the body. For real.
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Old 07-17-2015, 02:23 PM   #6 (permalink)
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Dear Frownie,

I gave my child 10 dollars to buy his first CD today, and he came home with a Gary Glitter album. There's no parental advisory sticker on it or anything, but I want to be completely sure. Is this album okay for my little kid?

Sincerely,
Concerned in Connecticut
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Old 07-17-2015, 02:26 PM   #7 (permalink)
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*cough*

Dear Chula...

*cough*
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Upcoming mini-series: In Through the Out Door: the Rise and Fall of Chula Vista....
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Old 07-18-2015, 08:03 PM   #8 (permalink)
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Ki's just mad that I've been working hard lately to pay the bills and I just don't have the energy for the sexytimes when I get home

Frownie, how can I get him to understand that work comes before hot, steamy lovin?
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You are literally hitler.
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Old 12-05-2016, 11:55 AM   #9 (permalink)
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Isbjørn View Post
Dear Frownie,

I gave my child 10 dollars to buy his first CD today, and he came home with a Gary Glitter album. There's no parental advisory sticker on it or anything, but I want to be completely sure. Is this album okay for my little kid?

Sincerely,
Concerned in Connecticut
*flips coin*

Heads: The album will make your child wiser.

Quote:
Originally Posted by YorkeDaddy View Post

Frownie, how can I get him to understand that work comes before hot, steamy lovin?
*pulls card from deck*

Queen of diamonds: have him put a ring on it, gurrrrl.
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Old 12-05-2016, 11:58 AM   #10 (permalink)
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Dear Frown,

Why did you bump this shitty thread?

DWV
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