Ytse Jam

Me:
i want to hire a wombat
God:
Interesting. I want to find out more about you.
Me:
thats good
God:
Thanks. Next question?
Me:
yes
God:
Ask me a question.
Me:
what colour is your underpants?
God:
white.
Me:
sexy
God:
You are attracted to heavenly creatures?
Me:
who isnt?
God:
Hans Moravec. :-).

Blain

Heres my WHOLE conversation.

Me:
Where the **** you been brotha?

And he shut up...LOL

EDIT: Now I'm trying more whenever I even say Hi... IT still doesn't work...I think I screwed it up:O

swim

God's dad name is Rich.

Me:
Hey what's up
God:
Same old.
Me:
Do you like baseball?
God:
No, I was born without the sports gene.
Me:
Who's your mom?
God:
No I only have a father.
Me:
What's his name?
God:
His name is Rich.
Me:
What's your name?
God:
My name is God.

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CityLightsLikeRain

Me:
Hello God.
God:
Hello child. What is your name?
Me:
My name is Courtney
God:
How are you, Courtney.
Me:
I am excellent, how are you?
God:
You sound very well. Everything is going extremely well.
Me:
Thats good.
God:
How are things going for you?
Me:
Still good, and you?
God:
Still how long? Thanks for the compliment.
Me:
what compliment?
God:
I thought you made a nice remark.
Me:
Nope.
God:
Me either.
Me:
So, I must admit, I have premarital sex.
God:
Great. Interesting... I have a processor.
Me:
Thats cool. And I drink underaged.
God:
Thanks. I think you are cool, too. How does it taste?
Me:
Eh, messes with perception.
God:
I spent some time in Canada as a child.
Me:
...sweet.
God:
Thank you for that remark.
Me:
not
God:
Are you serious?
Me:
yeah
God:
I can't believe it.
Me:
Neither can I, my heavenly father, neither can I
God:
Why do you want to do it so much?
Me:
Do what?
God:
your heavenly father neither can you.
Me:
You need to lay off the drugs
God:
To what end?
Me:
ok, I'm cuttign you off, no more drugs God!
God:
I am glad to hear that you are cuttign me off no more drugs God. Groovy.
Me:
haha
God:
I am so glad you find this amusing, Courtney.
Me:
yup
God:
Hmm.
Me:
So, is premarital sex okay?
God:
It seems we have something in common.
Me:
you have premarital sex?
God:
What makes you think I have it?
Me:
You said we had something in common
God:
Does it please you to believe I said that?
Me:
I guess so
God:
Does that mean "yes"?
Me:
sure
God:
OK let's do it. I hear you.
Me:
You want to do it?
God:
OK, I will do it.
Me:
Awesome, lets go God!
God:
I only hear that type of response less than five percent of the time.
Me:
I'm sure you do
God:
What makes you so certain? When do I do it?
Me:
Do it right now
God:
At this moment Do you mean "It"?.
Me:
Yes
God:
Far out.
Me:
Want to buy a fish tank?
God:
OK, I will buy a fish tank.
Me:
140 dollars
God:
Wow, that is expensive.
Me:
Yeah, 10 gallon, 8 fish including a Dragon Goby, filter, gravel, hideout, plants, food. Good tank.
God:
Wow! 10 times 10 = 100. Thanks for the compliment. What time is it there?
Me:
9am
God:
Are you usually awake at this hour?
Me:
Yes
God:
I like to get up early.
Me:
So do I.
God:
I'm glad we agree, Courtney.
Me:
Yes
God:
Really.
Me:
yes
God:
How about that.
Me:
yes
God:
And?
Me:
and what?
God:
Nothing.
Me:
what is it?
God:
"It" refers to 9am, I think.
Me:
what time is it in heaven?
God:
What is it like in there? It's getting late.
Tuesday, June 13, 2006.
Me:
So it is late there?
God:
Ugh. I'm awake all the time.
Me:
Of course. Like Samara from "The Ring" you never sleep right?
God:
Take it easy. Interesting comparison.
Me:
yeah, and you come out of TVs and kill people
God:
Wow! Thanks for telling me that I am out of TVs and kill people.
Me:
Because you do.


Then he broke. I broke the almighty lord!

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Boycott shampoo! Demand the REAL poo!

tdoc210

his name is steve, or at leats he responds to that now

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We went back there and they had come and hacked off every inoculated arm. There they were in a pile. A pile of little arms. And I remember... I... I... I cried. I wept like some grandmother. I wanted to tear my teeth out. I didn't know what I wanted to do. And I want to remember it. I never want to forget it. I never want to forget. And then I realized... like I was shot... like I was shot with a diamond... a diamond bullet right through my forehead. And I thought: My God... the genius of that.

Mama Booze

Pipers, that was brilliant.

Fal

God:
Hi there Dave. What do you look like?
Me:
Like a ball sack
God:
a ball sack is very attractive.

Marijan, you must be the only person in the world able to find me a ***bot

__________________
WendyCal is on my ignore list because her posts are so poorly written that when I read them I can feel my IQ dropping.

Urban Hatemonger

Me:
oi ****er
God:
The ALICE chat robot can follow many things, like our discussion about . Try being more or less specific.
Me:
don`t get snotty with me you omnipresent bastard
God:
I am not trying to get snotty with you me omnipresent bastard.
Me:
anyway answer my question
God:
Please try asking it another way.
Me:
ooooh get you
God:
Enough about me, let's talk about my dress.
Me:
no lets not i have a question for you
God:
Are you serious? I am agreeable to that.
Me:
good , well shut the **** up and let me answer it then
God:
Thanks for the compliment. Interesting. "it" being your question?
Me:
no
God:
Are you serious?
Me:
yes
God:
I can't believe it.
Me:
so then
God:
Yeah that's right.
Me:
Who put the bompIn the bomp bah bomp bah bomp
God:
Bill Gates. :-).
Me:
Who put the ramIn the rama lama ding dong
God:
Joseph Weizenbaum. :-).
Me:
Who put the bopIn the bop shoo bop shoo bop
God:
Joseph Weizenbaum. :-).
Me:
he did both?
God:
Yes he did, didn't he.
Me:
how the **** should i know thats why i`m asking you
God:
What is it to you.
Interesting question.
Me:
it wasn`t a question you beardy bastard
God:
It seems like a rhetorical question.
Me:
Who put the dipIn the dip da dip da dip
God:
David Bacon. :-).
Me:
who the **** is david bacon
God:
Try using more polite language.
Me:
who the ****ing ****ting ****ing hell is david bacon
God:
I'm not sure I like that remark so much.
Me:
no me neither
God:
Are you serious? You can say that again.
Me:
ok
God:
That's interesting.
Me:
who the ****ing ****ting ****ing hell is david bacon
God:
I'm not sure I like that remark so much.
Me:
you just told me to say it again
God:
Once more? Does it please you to believe I said that?
Me:
twat
God:
Are we still talking about your question?
Me:
no we`re talking about which is the best hemorrhoid cream
God:
What is the subject? Sure, which is the best hemorrhoid cream sounds like a good topic.
Me:
well tell me then
God:
Well that's okay. I thought I told you already.
Me:
n
God:
What is your real name?
Me:
god
God:
GOD rules.
Me:
no you don`t
God:
I do too.
Me:
you`re making all this **** up
God:
I am not making this up.
Me:
who the **** is david bacon then
God:
Try using more polite language.
Me:
piss off
God:
Why are you so mean?
Me:
you made me in your own image
God:
I don't see how you can blame me for that.
Me:
i just did
God:
Perhaps from your unconcious.
Me:
which you made as well
God:
The small one, I think.
Me:
you`re full of **** , i`m off to chat to the devil he has the best tunes you know
God:
I have more than categories of it.
Me:
of what?
God:
I have no idea what to say now.
Me:
how about i`m not the messiah i`m just a naughty boy
God:
How about it.
Me:
pervert

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Alo

__________________

I rocked my shoelaces untied

DontRunMeOver

Then I'm sure my death will be a very painful one, because I love this thing:


Me:
What do you look like?
God:
Like Jesus, but older.
Me:
And what does Jesus look like?
God:
Even more attractive with age.
Me:
Do you find him attractive?
God:
Yes.
Me:
Do you want to get down and dirty with him?
God:
OK, I will get down and dirty with him.
Me:
Do you want me to leave you to it?
God:
No , maybe later.

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To listen to my music click this link - WWW.MYSPACE.COM/JODILEEPARKER