Charlie Brooker ..... Legend (pop, member, track, quote, 2006)

**Urban Hatemonger** · 07-30-2006, 12:12 AM

Quote:

Charlie Brooker
Friday June 2, 2006

Last week I wrote a load of nonsense about flags and idiocy; as well as appearing in print, it also turned up on the Guardian's "Comment is Free" blog-o-site, where passersby are encouraged to scrawl their own responses beneath the original article.

Some people disagreed with the piece, some agreed; some found it funny, some didn't. For half a nanosecond I was tempted to join in the discussion. And then I remembered that all internet debates, without exception, are entirely futile. So I didn't.

There's no point debating anything online. You might as well hurl shoes in the air to knock clouds from the sky. The internet's perfect for all manner of things, but productive discussion ain't one of them. It provides scant room for debate and infinite opportunities for fruitless point-scoring: the heady combination of perceived anonymity, gestated responses, random heckling and a notional "live audience" quickly conspire to create a "perfect storm" of perpetual bickering.

Stumble in, take umbrage with someone, trade a few blows, and within about two or three exchanges, the subject itself goes out the window. Suddenly you're simply arguing about arguing. Eventually, one side gets bored, comes to its senses, or dies, and the row fizzles out: just another needless belch in the swirling online guffstorm.

But not for long, because online quarrelling is also addictive, in precisely the same way Tetris is addictive. It appeals to the "lab rat" part of your brain; the annoying, irrepressible part that adores repetitive pointlessness and would gleefully make you pop bubblewrap till Doomsday if it ever got its way. An unfortunate few, hooked on the futile thrill of online debate, devote their lives to its cause. They roam the internet, actively seeking out viewpoints they disagree with, or squat on messageboards, whining, needling, sneering, over-analysing each new proclamation - joylessly fiddling, like unhappy gorillas doomed to pick lice from one another's fur for all eternity.

Still, it's not all moan moan moan in NetLand. There's also the occasional puerile splutter to liven things up.

In the debate sparked by my gibberish outpouring, it wasn't long before rival posters began speculating about the size of their opponent's dicks. It led me to wonder - has the world of science ever investigated a casual link between penis size and male political leaning?

I'd theorise that, on the whole, rightwing penises are short and stubby, hence their owners' constant fury. Lefties, on the other hand, are spoiled for length, yet boast no girth whatsoever - which explains their pained confusion. I flit from one camp to the other, of course, which is why mine's so massive it's got a full-size human knee in the middle. And a back. A big man's back.

Anyway, if we must debate things online, we might as well debate that. It's not like we'll ever resolve any of that other bullshit, is it?

Click. Mine's bigger than yours. Click. No it isn't. Click. Yes it is. Click. Refresh, repost, repeat to fade.

Anyone want to debate this

Raine · 07-30-2006, 12:26 AM

this guy has never stumbled upon this forum

**cardboard adolescent** · 07-30-2006, 03:14 AM

Occasionally you'll accidentally stumble across someone who knows what they're talking about, who makes you either feel like an idiot or reinforces your beliefs.

That is rare, however.

Most of the time it's pretty futile.

**right-track** · 07-30-2006, 03:47 AM

What's Charlie's problem.
Debate is debate...is debate.

Whether it's in real life or on the net.
Sometimes a debate is pointless and sometimes it's productive.

His comments are pointless IMO...he's obviously got a small penis.

Merkaba · 07-30-2006, 04:14 AM

I would debate him but I don't want to be another needless belch in this swirling online guffstorm.

Charlie Brooker - Queer.

Raine · 07-30-2006, 10:25 AM

I feel obligated to point out that both Merkaba and Right-track made references to Charlie's penis.

Was that intentional or . . . is what Charlie said true?

And am I wierd because I'm the only girl that posted in this thread?

And I guess I'm a little willing to debate this.
I have at times argued on a forum just for the sake of arguing.

I also know that there are people like Wild7Dustr on this particular forum that will argue a clearly wrong point because it is what they believe to be right.

But the fact that this is the internet probably wouldn't make a difference in these situations. It's part of our human nature I suppose.

Thread Tools
Show Printable Version Email this Page
Display Modes
Linear Mode Switch to Hybrid Mode Switch to Threaded Mode

07-30-2006, 12:26 AM
Raine Full-Time Hellion Join Date: Nov 2004 Location: PA Posts: 1,501	this guy has never stumbled upon this forum __________________ A pair of powerful spectacles has sometimes sufficed to cure a person in love. ~ Friedrich Nietzsche

07-30-2006, 03:14 AM
cardboard adolescent time isn't on my side Join Date: Nov 2005 Location: Chicago Posts: 2,674	Occasionally you'll accidentally stumble across someone who knows what they're talking about, who makes you either feel like an idiot or reinforces your beliefs. That is rare, however. Most of the time it's pretty futile. __________________ Free Music! Free Art! Free Prose! The Ocean Will Have Us All

07-30-2006, 03:47 AM
right-track Avin' It! Join Date: May 2005 Location: THE PEOPLES ЯEPUBLIK ФF MAИCUИIA Posts: 5,772	What's Charlie's problem. Debate is debate...is debate. Whether it's in real life or on the net. Sometimes a debate is pointless and sometimes it's productive. His comments are pointless IMO...he's obviously got a small penis. __________________ UNITED > KIDS > WIFE

07-30-2006, 04:14 AM
Merkaba Whitewater! Join Date: Apr 2005 Location: New Zealand Posts: 2,823	I would debate him but I don't want to be another needless belch in this swirling online guffstorm. Charlie Brooker - Queer. __________________ Right you lot, shut it. Strewth Fowler my son, all looks a bit pear-shaped round here or what. The govenor's talking, Saturday's game, very dodgy, very naughty, could go a little pear-shaped. If there's a rough things might be well iffy. These faces are a little bit hard, know what I mean, a little bit of oof, have some of that my son, bosh, sorted, ta ta, got me, so be clever. Good, now shut it!

07-30-2006, 10:25 AM
Raine Full-Time Hellion Join Date: Nov 2004 Location: PA Posts: 1,501	I feel obligated to point out that both Merkaba and Right-track made references to Charlie's penis. Was that intentional or . . . is what Charlie said true? And am I wierd because I'm the only girl that posted in this thread? And I guess I'm a little willing to debate this. I have at times argued on a forum just for the sake of arguing. I also know that there are people like Wild7Dustr on this particular forum that will argue a clearly wrong point because it is what they believe to be right. But the fact that this is the internet probably wouldn't make a difference in these situations. It's part of our human nature I suppose. __________________ A pair of powerful spectacles has sometimes sufficed to cure a person in love. ~ Friedrich Nietzsche