christmas cracker jokes - they get better every year ¬_¬ (rock, Bob Marley)

littleknowitall · 12-25-2006, 06:58 AM

why dont duckls tell jokes when they're flying?

they would quack up.

what do you need to know to be an auctioner?

lots.

what do you get if you cross a stereo with a refrigerator?

cool music

.....¬_¬

anyone ever actually had a decent joke out of a cracker? or something decent as a little prize thingy? i have a pen....s'alright.

**right-track** · 12-25-2006, 08:00 AM

What's ET short for?
Because he's only got little legs.

What did the fish say when it swam into a wall?
Dam.

How does Bob Marley like his doughnuts?
Wi' Jammin
What does Bob Marley say to his friends when he buys doughnuts?
Hope you like Jammin too.

Why are chocolate buttons rude?
Because they are Smarties in the nude.

I'm in a good Xmas mood today...I let my daughter have TWO pieces of paper from the printer, so she can crayon on them.

**Urban Hatemonger** · 12-25-2006, 08:04 AM

How do cows subtract?

With a cow-culator

littleknowitall · 12-26-2006, 09:48 AM

What did the beaver say to the tree?

(i forgot)

anyone?

Mouseketeer · 12-26-2006, 09:51 AM

How do you send a baby astronaut to sleep?

Rocket.

littleknowitall · 12-26-2006, 09:56 AM

What does a snail use to make its shell shine?

snail- varnish :p *ba dum ch!*

Blain · 12-26-2006, 04:07 PM

Pretend your in a forest and a tiger attacks you. What do you do?

Stop pretending! ROFL OMGZORZ LOLLYLOPS. ahem.

**right-track** · 12-26-2006, 04:15 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Blainka

ROFL OMGZORZ LOLLYLOPS. ahem.

Step away from the liqueurs.

ladyluckrules · 12-28-2006, 02:22 PM

Aha me and my mates made a leaflet from all the crappy cracker jokes:

Q: Why does a giraffe have such a long neck?

A: Because its feet smell

Q:What's sweet and swings through the jungle?

A:Tarzipan ( :|< me)

Now HERE'S a gem:

Q:How do you get down from an elephant?

A: You don't, you get down from ducks. (We think the man that writes cracker jokes gave up on life at the very point he was writing the punchline to this joke)

Q: Why did the jelly baby go to school?

A: Because it wanted to be a smartie.

Q:What would happen if pigs could fly?

A: Bacon would go up.

Q: Why can't you play cards in the jungle?

A: There are too many cheetahs.

Q: What lives at the bottom of the sea and shivers?

A: A nervous wreck.

Q:How do you start a bear race?

A: Ready, teddy, go.

And there are many, perhaps too many, more.

ArtistInTheAmbulance · 12-28-2006, 03:25 PM

im glad zoe is back/
even crappy cracker jokes are fun&rummy.

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12-25-2006, 06:58 AM
littleknowitall Pow! Join Date: Dec 2005 Location: Swansea, Wales, UK. Posts: 1,498	christmas cracker jokes - they get better every year ¬_¬ why dont duckls tell jokes when they're flying? they would quack up. what do you need to know to be an auctioner? lots. what do you get if you cross a stereo with a refrigerator? cool music .....¬_¬ anyone ever actually had a decent joke out of a cracker? or something decent as a little prize thingy? i have a pen....s'alright. __________________ My Myspace. My Bands Myspace - Please Show Some Love Here. My Youtube. My Ultimate Guitar.

12-25-2006, 08:00 AM
right-track Avin' It! Join Date: May 2005 Location: THE PEOPLES ЯEPUBLIK ФF MAИCUИIA Posts: 5,287	What's ET short for? Because he's only got little legs. What did the fish say when it swam into a wall? Dam. How does Bob Marley like his doughnuts? Wi' Jammin What does Bob Marley say to his friends when he buys doughnuts? Hope you like Jammin too. Why are chocolate buttons rude? Because they are Smarties in the nude. I'm in a good Xmas mood today...I let my daughter have TWO pieces of paper from the printer, so she can crayon on them. __________________ Choose Liverpool. Choose the dole queue. Choose to scam disability benefit. Choose mind-numbing, grinding efficiency over flair. Choose Torben Piechnik, Istvan Kozma and Paul Stewart. Choose not to win a single league title since the backpass rule was implemented. Choose penalties. Choose car stereos, hubcaps and stanley knives. Choose to trade on your proud sense of tradition and then not lift a finger in protest when two American billionaires who don't even know the name of your club decide to buy it. Choose to win the European Cup whilst only having to play seven matches. Choose to bask in a perpetual, sickening, media love-in. Choose celebrities who ** off out of your city as soon as they have earned the money to do so and then spend the rest of their lives harping on about how wonderful it is. Choose to sing about Munich until confronted with your own tragedy. Choose to end it all in an orgy of self pity, just another excuse to perpetuate the grief culture spawned by your selfish, insular **ed-up excuse for a city. Choose your future. Choose Scouse.

12-26-2006, 09:48 AM
littleknowitall Pow! Join Date: Dec 2005 Location: Swansea, Wales, UK. Posts: 1,498	What did the beaver say to the tree? (i forgot) anyone? __________________ My Myspace. My Bands Myspace - Please Show Some Love Here. My Youtube. My Ultimate Guitar.

12-26-2006, 09:51 AM
Mouseketeer I'm kind of a big deal. Join Date: Nov 2006 Location: England Posts: 203	How do you send a baby astronaut to sleep? Rocket. __________________ Nurses are fussin' Doctors on tour Somewhere in India

12-26-2006, 09:56 AM
littleknowitall Pow! Join Date: Dec 2005 Location: Swansea, Wales, UK. Posts: 1,498	What does a snail use to make its shell shine? snail- varnish :p ba dum ch! __________________ My Myspace. My Bands Myspace - Please Show Some Love Here. My Youtube. My Ultimate Guitar.

12-26-2006, 04:07 PM
Blain w0rd Join Date: Apr 2006 Location: Suva, Fiji Posts: 1,030	Pretend your in a forest and a tiger attacks you. What do you do? Stop pretending! ROFL OMGZORZ LOLLYLOPS. ahem.

12-28-2006, 02:22 PM
ladyluckrules D: Join Date: Mar 2005 Location: England Posts: 517	Aha me and my mates made a leaflet from all the crappy cracker jokes: Q: Why does a giraffe have such a long neck? A: Because its feet smell Q:What's sweet and swings through the jungle? A:Tarzipan ( :\|< me) Now HERE'S a gem: Q:How do you get down from an elephant? A: You don't, you get down from ducks. (We think the man that writes cracker jokes gave up on life at the very point he was writing the punchline to this joke) Q: Why did the jelly baby go to school? A: Because it wanted to be a smartie. Q:What would happen if pigs could fly? A: Bacon would go up. Q: Why can't you play cards in the jungle? A: There are too many cheetahs. Q: What lives at the bottom of the sea and shivers? A: A nervous wreck. Q:How do you start a bear race? A: Ready, teddy, go. And there are many, perhaps too many, more. __________________ AHOY SAILOR

12-28-2006, 03:25 PM
ArtistInTheAmbulance enchanted. Join Date: Dec 2004 Location: cornwailles, angleterre. Posts: 2,599	im glad zoe is back/ even crappy cracker jokes are fun&rummy. __________________ shake your wings like theyre laced with sound!