A Bit Old ..... But Still Funny (country, single, Queen, Europe)

**sleepy jack** · 12-28-2006, 07:31 PM

This was dry as hell, even if it was true it wasn't that funny. Some of it was straight up stupid, poking fun at americans for spelling 'colour' color? We were taught to spell that way, so trying to play it off like its lazy and moronic of us is pretty dumb.

riseagainstrocks · 12-28-2006, 10:11 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Ma Cherie

and yes people need to learn to properly speak and read even, i mean come on, i nearly got a perfect on my reading SAT (680 out of 710) maybe people won't look at me so funny for using "bigger" words and the fact i have a slight(very slight) German accent

What? Each SAT catagory is out of 800...

and this thing is damn funny.

Ma Cherie · 12-28-2006, 11:17 PM

that was the old one now it 710, because of the fact its now 3 tests insted of 2, they seperated writing into it own category there by making it count seprate, i'm just posting what it says on my paper

riseagainstrocks · 12-29-2006, 12:34 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Ma Cherie

that was the old one now it 710, because of the fact its now 3 tests insted of 2, they seperated writing into it own category there by making it count seprate, i'm just posting what it says on my paper

The old test was out of 1600 total. Math = 800 max, Reading = 800 max

New one is out of 2400. Math = 800 max, Reading = 800 max, Writing = 800 max

So I have no idea what you're talking about and I don't think you do either.

TheBig3KilledMyRainDog · 12-29-2006, 02:21 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Crowquill

This was dry as hell, even if it was true it wasn't that funny. Some of it was straight up stupid, poking fun at americans for spelling 'colour' color? We were taught to spell that way, so trying to play it off like its lazy and moronic of us is pretty dumb.

Actually all the words we have spelled diffrently in the states are because we hate the brittish. We just took letters out to be diffrent. This need to be better than them because of hatred is also why "ain't" isn't a word.

I'm a word nerd like that, I study this **** all day long. it gets me off academiclly.

Raine · 12-29-2006, 03:28 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Urban Hatemonger

a letter from John Cleese to America

2. There is no such thing as "US English". We will let Microsoft know on
your behalf. The Microsoft spell-checker will be adjusted to take account of
the reinstated letter 'u' and the elimination of "-ize".

6. You should stop playing American "football". There is only one kind of
football. What you refer to as American "football" is not a very good game.
The 2.15% of you who are aware that there is a world outside your borders
may have noticed that no one else plays "American" football. You will no
longer be allowed to play it, and should instead play proper football.
Initially, it would be best if you played with the girls. It is a difficult
game. Those of you brave enough will, in time, be allowed to play rugby
(which is similar to American "football", but does not involve stopping for
a rest every twenty seconds or wearing full Kevlar body armour like
nancies). We are hoping to get together at least a US Rugby sevens side by
2005. You should stop playing baseball. It is not reasonable to host an
event called the 'World Series' for a game which is not played outside of
America. Since only 2.15% of you are aware that there is a world beyond your
borders, your error is understandable. Instead of baseball, you will be
allowed to play a girls' game called "rounders" which is baseball without
fancy team strip, oversized gloves, collector cards or hotdogs..

7. You will no longer be allowed to own or carry guns. You will no longer be
allowed to own or carry anything more dangerous in public than a vegetable
peeler. Because we don't believe you are sensible enough to handle
potentially dangerous items, you will require a permit if you wishto carry a
vegetable peeler in public.

9. All American cars are hereby banned. They are crap and it is for your own
good. When we show you German cars, you will understand what we mean. All
road intersections will be replaced with roundabouts. You will start driving
on the left with immediate effect. At the same time, you will go metric with
immediate effect and without the benefit of conversion tables. Roundabouts
and metrication will help you understand the British sense of humour.

14. You will learn to resolve personal issues without using guns, lawyers or
therapists. The fact that you need so many lawyers and therapists shows that
you're not adult enough to be independent. Guns should only be handled by
adults. If you're not adult enough to sort things out without suing someone
or speaking to a therapist then you're not grown up enough to handle a gun.

15. Please tell us who killed JFK. It's been driving us crazy. Tax
collectors from Her Majesty's Government will be with you shortly to ensure
the acquisition of all revenues due (backdated to 1776).

Bill Gates will find some way to combat the changing of his spellcheck

American "football" should be banned. Any sport baring any simularities to it should also be outlawed.

Second Amendment right to the US Constitution allows us to bare arms. I interpret this amendment the Conservative way. The only thing I ask is that anyone with a gun or any other weapon be certified to use it. They should pass a test proving they know how to use it and that they are accurate.

German or Italian cars.

Sometimes violence is the answer. We need lawyers to mediate these sorts of situations and therapists to help us decide on which course of action is best. if not the homicide rate would sky rocket.
And Brits are one to talk anyway.
I think their homicide rate rivals America's.

JFK's brother setup his assissination. Case solved.

Ma Cherie · 12-29-2006, 08:19 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by riseagainstrocks

The old test was out of 1600 total. Math = 800 max, Reading = 800 max

New one is out of 2400. Math = 800 max, Reading = 800 max, Writing = 800 max

So I have no idea what you're talking about and I don't think you do either.

i'm just saying what the paper said.., either way i scored high enougth that the bitch in the office shoved her foot up her ass again, becuse all the other scored had been low

TheBig3KilledMyRainDog · 12-29-2006, 11:12 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Raine

JFK's brother setup his assissination. Case solved.

Egregeous sin.

Chronotub · 12-29-2006, 11:59 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Raine

Bill Gates will find some way to combat the changing of his spellcheck

no, his lawyers would come up with a way, but he isn't alowed to have them anymore

Quote:

American "football" should be banned. Any sport baring any simularities to it should also be outlawed.

nah, rugby can be fun (not as good as football but still fun)

Quote:

Second Amendment right to the US Constitution allows us to bare arms. I interpret this amendment the Conservative way. The only thing I ask is that anyone with a gun or any other weapon be certified to use it. They should pass a test proving they know how to use it and that they are accurate.

balls to you're constitution, England doesn't have one

Quote:

Sometimes violence is the answer. We need lawyers to mediate these sorts of situations and therapists to help us decide on which course of action is best. if not the homicide rate would sky rocket.
And Brits are one to talk anyway.
I think their homicide rate rivals America's.

nope, we have a lower murder rate

Quote:

JFK's brother setup his assissination. Case solved.

Dave Lister set up JFK's assasination, JFK himself was the second gunman

Ma Cherie · 12-29-2006, 12:18 PM

^ haha, it was the mob, capone's goons shot him

i wish we had a lower murder rate, and less spying thingys.....(wiretaps ect...)

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12-28-2006, 07:31 PM
sleepy jack just made poverty history Join Date: Nov 2004 Posts: 17,622	This was dry as hell, even if it was true it wasn't that funny. Some of it was straight up stupid, poking fun at americans for spelling 'colour' color? We were taught to spell that way, so trying to play it off like its lazy and moronic of us is pretty dumb. __________________ I could go off the deep end, I could kill all my best friends.

12-28-2006, 11:17 PM
Ma Cherie The Forums Sadistic Ghost Join Date: Mar 2005 Location: beyond midnight, in the abyss of time, the syren in the night Posts: 442	that was the old one now it 710, because of the fact its now 3 tests insted of 2, they seperated writing into it own category there by making it count seprate, i'm just posting what it says on my paper __________________ I'm not a freak on a leash, I'm just the freak holding the leash. Polly wants a cracker! Damn it! Polly wants a Fucking cracker! Give Polly a Mother Fucking cracker! http://www.myspace.com/yukiko_mori Last edited by Ma Cherie : 12-29-2006 at 12:06 AM.

12-29-2006, 12:18 PM
Ma Cherie The Forums Sadistic Ghost Join Date: Mar 2005 Location: beyond midnight, in the abyss of time, the syren in the night Posts: 442	^ haha, it was the mob, capone's goons shot him i wish we had a lower murder rate, and less spying thingys.....(wiretaps ect...) __________________ I'm not a freak on a leash, I'm just the freak holding the leash. Polly wants a cracker! Damn it! Polly wants a Fucking cracker! Give Polly a Mother Fucking cracker! http://www.myspace.com/yukiko_mori