100 Things That Pisses Me Off About Video Games

**Urban Hatemonger** · 09-13-2008, 09:27 AM

There is a thing worse than shitty endings and thats no endings.

Sometimes I wondered why I ever bothered playing Gauntlet

dreadnaught · 09-13-2008, 09:52 AM

The best part about Super Mario on the 64 is the task after the task! Get all the stars and you get to meet Yoshi in person, beautiful. The game really doesn't have to end.

**boo boo** · 09-13-2008, 10:10 AM

96: The decline of digitally synthesized soundtracks

Ok, I'm gonna sound like an old elitist here. But I gotta tell the truth, nothing will ever beat consoles like the NES, SNES and Genesis for classic soundtracks.

In the old days, music composers actually had to program the music using the console's own synthesizer, because they couldn't record it, a lot of these old consoles could support samples, but they sounded like sh*t, so to make both the sound effects and music using the systems built in synthesizer was necessary, back then they were quite primititve, with only around 4 to 8 sound channels. But the music and sound effects were classic. The music for Mario, Zelda, Sonic, Mega Man and many others is an iconic part of video game history. You knew video game music when you heard it, it was distintive and a genre of it's very own, Kojo Kondo was it's Mozart.

And Sonic's soundtracks sounded more like David Bowie's Low than many of the trashy industrial rock bands that album inspired.

But since the rise of pre-recorded music and samples, this golden age has sadly been forgotten by developers (but not fans), sure great soundtracks still exist. But I find many games now just use the same boring cliches over and over, sh*tty nu metal (the new Sonic games for example) or stocky orchestrations that seemed to be left over from a Hollywood action film. That's not video game music.

They should let Brian Eno or Rick Wakeman do video game soundtracks.

mr dave · 09-13-2008, 10:25 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by boo boo

Contra 3 is not easier than Contra. Why? Because it didn't have the code, duh.

I mean c'mon, sure it's good for games to be challenging, but it's not like the code makes Contra a walk in the park, and even so, we're talking about an 8 level game that's hard as crap even with a stock full of lives, let alone just 3, if you're one of the hardcore that dosen't use the code then fine, that dosen't excuse not having ANYTHING to help gamers that are not quite as skilled. If the first game did it and was famous for doing so, then it dosen't matter if they indended it or not, as greatly assoiiated with the series as it is it should be available for every game, Contra 4 has the code, they all should have had it.

And yes I use emulators. And no, Master System was not very popular even when it came out, especially in North America.

as a test don't bother with the code and try both. you'll get further in part 3... because it's an easier game.

the code DID make the original a walk through the park you had to be drunk or disabled to not be able to make it through contra with 90 lives.

the master system might not have sold as much as the NES in its day but it was not obscure or hard to find.

spot on about the combos and currency.

the idea of games absolutely 'needing' endings only really started around the end of the 80s. it was most likely a reaction to the increased PC crap being forced onto anything relating to kids at the time. it was 'detrimental' to their self esteem to actually lose at the game. now the biggest risk of 'losing' at a game is having to reload your last save. it's less like a game and more like an interactive movie the idea of playing with friends for fun seems lost on most developers. at least guitar hero and rockband bucked that current trend.

the generation gap really shows itself with your comment on SMB. i flipped out when i beat that one for the first time. same as all my friends. because it took us weeks or months to finally be good enough at the game to beat it. there was no gamefaqs.com to tell us how to get to the warp zones or which pipes to take in the final castle, no frameskip to slow down the action or save state to never have to restart. there was a sense of accomplishment that is typically lost on most titles that put as much development time and money into a closing cinematic as the actual 'game'.

the original metroid ending wasn't really much more spectacular once you go back to thinking with the head on your shoulders either. it's just the difference of 4 sprites depending on how fast you beat the game.

another big reason those old games didn't have endings was technological limitations. there just wasn't enough memory on the cartridges to handle that. all the other examples you list are from the 16bit generation and up which was a big tech jump from the 8bit days.

**boo boo** · 09-13-2008, 10:37 AM

Contra (the first one) isn't too hard for me now (but it would be without the code) but when I was a kid it was and that's my main point, the people who played these games back then were kids, and we weren't all like that autistic kid from The Wizard who somef*ckinghow knew where the flute was in SMB3 even though he or no one else had ever played it before.

And I already explained that you get those Metroid endings depending on how fast you beat the game, if you beat it really fast you're rewarded with boobs. Sure it's just an 8/16 bit sprite of a chick in a bikini, but in 1986 it was a giant leap forward from this in pornographic achievement.

So yeah.

I'd hit it.

**boo boo** · 09-13-2008, 11:09 AM

95: Ridiculously complex passwords

This is something that really only applies to older games, mainly Metroid and Kid Icarus. Why do you need upper case AND lower case letters AND numbers AND question marks and exclamation points? I mean f*cking look at that picture.

It's like they did that on purpose just to be assh*les.

**Piss Me Off** · 09-13-2008, 11:15 AM

Ooo good one, all i want to do is play the 2nd level straight away, why do i have to go through so much effort?

**boo boo** · 09-13-2008, 11:33 AM

94: People who complain about fanservice

Look, f*cking face it, we still haven't gotten laid, so yeah we'll jerk off to just about anything, even when it's pixelated. Some game developers (Tecmo and SNK in particular) realise this fact and exploit it, I'm perfectly fine with that. Brawl has Mario, Link, Sonic and the well endowed Samus Aran in a body suit which to me = best game ever.

Unfortunately some nerds still deny this reality and think it's insulting to suggest nerds jerk off to sprites, but wasting years of your life taking forum character battles way too seriously? Oh, well that's just fine and dandy.

Sex sells for any media format, and video games allow you to act out any fantasies you want. So if I want to play a game that only consists of chicks with boobs that have their own gravitational force playing sports like volleyball, tug of war, water slide, pool hopping and ass wrestling then that's my right.

I don't need players of Warcraft telling me I have no life.

mr dave · 09-13-2008, 12:24 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by boo boo

And I already explained that you get those Metroid endings depending on how fast you beat the game, if you beat it really fast you're rewarded with boobs. Sure it's just an 8/16 bit sprite of a chick in a bikini, but in 1986 it was a giant leap forward from this in pornographic achievement.

a little more old guy perspective.

how about the actual ending from 1986 as opposed to the gameboy remake from a few years ago (metroid was also the first game i got with my NES.) you got this ending if you beat it in less than 90 minutes.

this was another game that got the 'OH MY EFFING GOD!!!' reaction upon completion. when is the last time anyone posting in this thread had a reaction like that at the end of a game? i'm actually seriously curious about this.

still wanna hit it?

**boo boo** · 09-13-2008, 12:31 PM

Yeah, for 86 that was the best 8 bit tits money could buy.

The "OMG Samus is a chick?" factor is what it a great ending too.

EDIT: That sprite was from Super Metroid, n00b.

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09-13-2008, 09:52 AM
dreadnaught You can have it all Join Date: Mar 2008 Posts: 1,116	The best part about Super Mario on the 64 is the task after the task! Get all the stars and you get to meet Yoshi in person, beautiful. The game really doesn't have to end. __________________ I swear all I ever ever ever ever ever ever ever ever believed in was all of us together all along

09-13-2008, 10:10 AM
boo boo Dr. Prunk Join Date: Jun 2005 Location: Where the buffalo roam. Posts: 7,503	96: The decline of digitally synthesized soundtracks Ok, I'm gonna sound like an old elitist here. But I gotta tell the truth, nothing will ever beat consoles like the NES, SNES and Genesis for classic soundtracks. In the old days, music composers actually had to program the music using the console's own synthesizer, because they couldn't record it, a lot of these old consoles could support samples, but they sounded like sht, so to make both the sound effects and music using the systems built in synthesizer was necessary, back then they were quite primititve, with only around 4 to 8 sound channels. But the music and sound effects were classic. The music for Mario, Zelda, Sonic, Mega Man and many others is an iconic part of video game history. You knew video game music when you heard it, it was distintive and a genre of it's very own, Kojo Kondo was it's Mozart. And Sonic's soundtracks sounded more like David Bowie's Low than many of the trashy industrial rock bands that album inspired. But since the rise of pre-recorded music and samples, this golden age has sadly been forgotten by developers (but not fans), sure great soundtracks still exist. But I find many games now just use the same boring cliches over and over, shtty nu metal (the new Sonic games for example) or stocky orchestrations that seemed to be left over from a Hollywood action film. That's not video game music. They should let Brian Eno or Rick Wakeman do video game soundtracks. __________________ http://www.progarchives.com/

09-13-2008, 10:37 AM
boo boo Dr. Prunk Join Date: Jun 2005 Location: Where the buffalo roam. Posts: 7,503	Contra (the first one) isn't too hard for me now (but it would be without the code) but when I was a kid it was and that's my main point, the people who played these games back then were kids, and we weren't all like that autistic kid from The Wizard who somef*ckinghow knew where the flute was in SMB3 even though he or no one else had ever played it before. And I already explained that you get those Metroid endings depending on how fast you beat the game, if you beat it really fast you're rewarded with boobs. Sure it's just an 8/16 bit sprite of a chick in a bikini, but in 1986 it was a giant leap forward from this in pornographic achievement. So yeah. I'd hit it. __________________ http://www.progarchives.com/

09-13-2008, 11:09 AM
boo boo Dr. Prunk Join Date: Jun 2005 Location: Where the buffalo roam. Posts: 7,503	95: Ridiculously complex passwords This is something that really only applies to older games, mainly Metroid and Kid Icarus. Why do you need upper case AND lower case letters AND numbers AND question marks and exclamation points? I mean fcking look at that picture. It's like they did that on purpose just to be asshles. __________________ http://www.progarchives.com/

09-13-2008, 11:33 AM
boo boo Dr. Prunk Join Date: Jun 2005 Location: Where the buffalo roam. Posts: 7,503	94: People who complain about fanservice Look, f*cking face it, we still haven't gotten laid, so yeah we'll jerk off to just about anything, even when it's pixelated. Some game developers (Tecmo and SNK in particular) realise this fact and exploit it, I'm perfectly fine with that. Brawl has Mario, Link, Sonic and the well endowed Samus Aran in a body suit which to me = best game ever. Unfortunately some nerds still deny this reality and think it's insulting to suggest nerds jerk off to sprites, but wasting years of your life taking forum character battles way too seriously? Oh, well that's just fine and dandy. Sex sells for any media format, and video games allow you to act out any fantasies you want. So if I want to play a game that only consists of chicks with boobs that have their own gravitational force playing sports like volleyball, tug of war, water slide, pool hopping and ass wrestling then that's my right. I don't need players of Warcraft telling me I have no life. __________________ http://www.progarchives.com/

09-13-2008, 12:31 PM
boo boo Dr. Prunk Join Date: Jun 2005 Location: Where the buffalo roam. Posts: 7,503	Yeah, for 86 that was the best 8 bit tits money could buy. The "OMG Samus is a chick?" factor is what it a great ending too. EDIT: That sprite was from Super Metroid, n00b. __________________ http://www.progarchives.com/