The Ballad of Hating You (tune, review, quote, song)

madeinNY · 01-06-2006, 04:14 PM

A/N: As always, only helpful critism please...and this song is meant to be sung with keyboard and to the tune of "Tained Love" by Soft Cell...it works well with it.
---

The Ballad of Hating You

I hate you, Lou
I know you love me, too
This is how I hate you, Lou

Don't tell me what to do
No one ever tells me boo
You're no different from them, Lou

Your dreams are not my problem
Don't even try to solve 'em
Don't take it out on me
Because you spilled your goddamn tea

*Let me live, you fucking tease
Let me do as I fucking please
I'll pay my own goddamn fees.

Don't try to save me from the inevitable
After all it's unavoidable
Don't save me from your fears
I can cry my own feigned tears

~repeat* then repeat bold then repeat * again*

TheBig3 · 01-06-2006, 04:17 PM

I cannot review couplets. I don't care if its genius writing, couplets make my blood currdle and my skin crawl and my bones...lose their marrow? Im not sure what bones no, but its not good.

I have two honest questions for you then:

1. WHY couplets?

2. Wtf is "tut"

madeinNY · 01-06-2006, 04:21 PM

1. Couplets because I felt like doing something that rhymed.

2. lol kinda off topic, but tut means like...you know when someone half laughs, they kinda make a "tut" sound....do you get it?

TheBig3 · 01-06-2006, 04:34 PM

I know what it means, but tut's more like the sound you make when you hold in a burp. And now you're disgusting me.

Also, fine rhyme, but there were like maybe 3 people ever that wrote interesting couplets and they were back in Victorian england. if I give youa rhyme scheme, will you change it?

madeinNY · 01-06-2006, 04:36 PM

I'll make a different version, but I won't change it...

either/or · 01-08-2006, 09:03 PM

spilt your tea? confusing.

sleepy jack · 01-08-2006, 09:05 PM

You know, i think it swears to much.
I find profanity ruining, unless done right.
Its not done right here.

madeinNY · 01-09-2006, 01:22 PM

Its a metaphor,e/o

The way I'm planning to sing it (the tune I mean) the swearing fits in well.

Crazy Luv · 01-09-2006, 01:32 PM

Hmph, i could of sworn i already posted in here...meh....anyways, i find it amusing actually. i like it. favorite part was the bolded.

i thought ...

Quote:

Don't try to save me from the inevitable
After all it's unavoidable
Don't save me from your fears
I can cry my own feigned tears

should of been done in 3 lines

madeinNY · 01-09-2006, 01:34 PM

thanks crazy :]]]

3 lines? really? Hmmm...

Don't try and save me from the inevitable, after all its unavoidale
Don't save me from your fears
I can cry my own feigned tears

Like that?

01-06-2006, 04:14 PM	#1 (permalink)
madeinNY [[la de da diddy da]] Join Date: Nov 2005 Location: NY...duh. Posts: 444	The Ballad of Hating You A/N: As always, only helpful critism please...and this song is meant to be sung with keyboard and to the tune of "Tained Love" by Soft Cell...it works well with it. --- The Ballad of Hating You I hate you, Lou I know you love me, too This is how I hate you, Lou Don't tell me what to do No one ever tells me boo You're no different from them, Lou Your dreams are not my problem Don't even try to solve 'em Don't take it out on me Because you spilled your goddamn tea Let me live, you fucking tease Let me do as I fucking please I'll pay my own goddamn fees. Don't try to save me from the inevitable After all it's unavoidable Don't save me from your fears I can cry my own feigned tears ~repeat then repeat bold then repeat * again* __________________ I cleared out my PM box...I promise. lol

01-06-2006, 04:17 PM	#2 (permalink)
TheBig3 killedmyraindog Join Date: Aug 2004 Location: Boston, Massachusetts Posts: 11,172	I cannot review couplets. I don't care if its genius writing, couplets make my blood currdle and my skin crawl and my bones...lose their marrow? Im not sure what bones no, but its not good. I have two honest questions for you then: 1. WHY couplets? 2. Wtf is "tut" __________________ I've moved to a new address

01-06-2006, 04:21 PM	#3 (permalink)
madeinNY [[la de da diddy da]] Join Date: Nov 2005 Location: NY...duh. Posts: 444	1. Couplets because I felt like doing something that rhymed. 2. lol kinda off topic, but tut means like...you know when someone half laughs, they kinda make a "tut" sound....do you get it? __________________ I cleared out my PM box...I promise. lol

01-06-2006, 04:34 PM	#4 (permalink)
TheBig3 killedmyraindog Join Date: Aug 2004 Location: Boston, Massachusetts Posts: 11,172	I know what it means, but tut's more like the sound you make when you hold in a burp. And now you're disgusting me. Also, fine rhyme, but there were like maybe 3 people ever that wrote interesting couplets and they were back in Victorian england. if I give youa rhyme scheme, will you change it? __________________ I've moved to a new address

01-06-2006, 04:36 PM	#5 (permalink)
madeinNY [[la de da diddy da]] Join Date: Nov 2005 Location: NY...duh. Posts: 444	I'll make a different version, but I won't change it... __________________ I cleared out my PM box...I promise. lol

01-08-2006, 09:03 PM	#6 (permalink)
either/or Don't think twice Join Date: Dec 2005 Location: A basement on the hill Posts: 352	spilt your tea? confusing. __________________ Painstaking devotion and love Surrendered to self preservation From others who care for themselves A blindness that touches perfection But hurts just like anything else Isolation, isolation, isolation

01-09-2006, 01:22 PM	#8 (permalink)
madeinNY [[la de da diddy da]] Join Date: Nov 2005 Location: NY...duh. Posts: 444	Its a metaphor,e/o The way I'm planning to sing it (the tune I mean) the swearing fits in well. __________________ I cleared out my PM box...I promise. lol

01-09-2006, 01:34 PM	#10 (permalink)
madeinNY [[la de da diddy da]] Join Date: Nov 2005 Location: NY...duh. Posts: 444	thanks crazy :]]] 3 lines? really? Hmmm... Don't try and save me from the inevitable, after all its unavoidale Don't save me from your fears I can cry my own feigned tears Like that? __________________ I cleared out my PM box...I promise. lol