Five Poems (dance, Queen)

Crowe · 01-09-2006, 05:45 PM

at first I had no idea what this MX was that you were talkin about creep, but I checked into it, and now I see why you are what you are. The people over at mx are a hundred times more into the lyrics and writing songs than the folks here at music banter. Its just the community is bigger and whatnot. They emphasize critiques and they have a few tutorials on lyric writing... something that just isn't happening here. I'd say not to take away members from this forum, but if you really wanted your music critiqued you would probably want it over there.

EDIT: took off the linkylink, probably should have read the rules.

creepinson · 01-09-2006, 05:46 PM

told yuh dude... that place is where its at

im bannned till thursday

EDGE · 01-09-2006, 05:47 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Alexisonfire

4

So take my hand and lets leave this mortal Life
Lets dance through fields forever
The green grass slipping between our toes
The dew coats your hair like a crown
Lets fly though space
Two step among the stars till the end of our days
You are my beauty queen

aw.

**sleepy jack** · 01-09-2006, 05:48 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Crowe

at first I had no idea what this MX was that you were talkin about creep, but I checked into it, and now I see why you are what you are. The people over at mx are a hundred times more into the lyrics and writing songs than the folks here at music banter. Its just the community is bigger and whatnot. They emphasize critiques and they have a few tutorials on lyric writing... something that just isn't happening here. I'd say not to take away members from this forum, but if you really wanted your music critiqued you would probably want it over there. if you wanted a linkylink.

That is advertising.

Crowe · 01-09-2006, 05:50 PM

Oh! Alex, now you're advertising! I deleted it from my post. Shame shame! BTW, you spelled overrated wrong in the "Describe the person above you" thread in the Lounge. That's ok though. I got the message :P

**sleepy jack** · 01-09-2006, 05:53 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Crowe

Oh! Alex, now you're advertising! I deleted it from my post. Shame shame! BTW, you spelled overrated wrong in the "Describe the person above you" thread in the Lounge. That's ok though. I got the message :P

Its cool, i didn't mean to sound like an ass with the advertising thing, but it could get you introuble.

**sleepy jack** · 02-05-2006, 04:59 PM

Im too lazy to make a new thread, heres a new poem.

Wrapped in the silent embrace of
Faded memories, and old photographs
I wonder about the time i held your
Hand in hand smiling ear to ear
Skipping alongs the sidewalks
Avoid the cracks, for we know
What bad luck brings, and me
Moving away in the spring
If we could stay in a
Suspended animation then maybe
We could keep our childhood alive
Till the end of of our lives

Number 2.

How does it feel to be the butterflies
In my stumach and the hop in my
step, you made my heart attack
Twice and im still breathing I
Feel your heart against mine
Slide down my like a child
On a slide, a new playground
and a brand new game in this
room, you made my heart attack
Thrice, and im still breathing

**sleepy jack** · 02-09-2006, 05:30 PM

Twelve years and still dictions
Hold no meaning with you as I
Converge the retrospectives
I feel when i would stare into
her autumn eyes, and I think
of Verity and her photographic
beauty and like a star she had
Burned out, no more alive
Then the ghosts in the mirror
and ive dreamt of searching the
Skies and this clandestine mind
wont forger her epitaph for
there lies a loving wife

*needs help* something about it isn't right..

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01-09-2006, 05:45 PM
Crowe Music Addict Join Date: Dec 2005 Location: Chicago/St. Louie Posts: 726	at first I had no idea what this MX was that you were talkin about creep, but I checked into it, and now I see why you are what you are. The people over at mx are a hundred times more into the lyrics and writing songs than the folks here at music banter. Its just the community is bigger and whatnot. They emphasize critiques and they have a few tutorials on lyric writing... something that just isn't happening here. I'd say not to take away members from this forum, but if you really wanted your music critiqued you would probably want it over there. EDIT: took off the linkylink, probably should have read the rules.

01-09-2006, 05:46 PM
creepinson you are freakin out, man Join Date: Jan 2006 Location: ajax, ontario Posts: 135	told yuh dude... that place is where its at im bannned till thursday

01-09-2006, 05:50 PM
Crowe Music Addict Join Date: Dec 2005 Location: Chicago/St. Louie Posts: 726	Oh! Alex, now you're advertising! I deleted it from my post. Shame shame! BTW, you spelled overrated wrong in the "Describe the person above you" thread in the Lounge. That's ok though. I got the message :P

02-05-2006, 04:59 PM
sleepy jack Bone Machine Join Date: Nov 2004 Location: Jesusland Posts: 17,561	Im too lazy to make a new thread, heres a new poem. Wrapped in the silent embrace of Faded memories, and old photographs I wonder about the time i held your Hand in hand smiling ear to ear Skipping alongs the sidewalks Avoid the cracks, for we know What bad luck brings, and me Moving away in the spring If we could stay in a Suspended animation then maybe We could keep our childhood alive Till the end of of our lives Number 2. How does it feel to be the butterflies In my stumach and the hop in my step, you made my heart attack Twice and im still breathing I Feel your heart against mine Slide down my like a child On a slide, a new playground and a brand new game in this room, you made my heart attack Thrice, and im still breathing __________________ I'm not blind, I believe in you.

02-09-2006, 05:30 PM
sleepy jack Bone Machine Join Date: Nov 2004 Location: Jesusland Posts: 17,561	Twelve years and still dictions Hold no meaning with you as I Converge the retrospectives I feel when i would stare into her autumn eyes, and I think of Verity and her photographic beauty and like a star she had Burned out, no more alive Then the ghosts in the mirror and ive dreamt of searching the Skies and this clandestine mind wont forger her epitaph for there lies a loving wife needs help something about it isn't right.. __________________ I'm not blind, I believe in you.