madeinNY

*no music…just talk*

I’m not asking for forever
I’m asking for a dance.

*music starts in*

I’m asking for a dance to save a lifetime
A dance to save the all tears
A dance to save the laughter of some odd years

I’m asking for a final dance
For the annual inauguration
Of years of devotion

I’m just asking
…for a dance.
A dance to save my sanity
A dance to save our humanity
A dance to reassure me
A dance to damn-near cure me

We dance for salvation
We dance to save our humanization
We dance to save our tears
We dance to save laughter of some odd years

*music fades out*

I’m not adking for forever.
I'm asking for a dance.

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I cleared out my PM box...I promise. lol

either/or

oh my what is with the end? that's wierd and slangy and ruins the whole thing.

__________________
Painstaking devotion and love
Surrendered to self preservation
From others who care for themselves
A blindness that touches perfection
But hurts just like anything else

Isolation, isolation, isolation

madeinNY

I was iffy about that...Im changing it.

Overall what do you think?

__________________
I cleared out my PM box...I promise. lol

Crazy Luv

i like it. i just think you should take the part i bolded out.

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either/or

i can;t comment anymore. my eyes have become blind to all meaning behind words. i see everything in just letters now.

__________________
Painstaking devotion and love
Surrendered to self preservation
From others who care for themselves
A blindness that touches perfection
But hurts just like anything else

Isolation, isolation, isolation

Crazy Luv

hey, theres nothing wrong with slangy

but yea, you either do all "slangy" or none at all, i guess

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madeinNY

Really? why?

That was my favorite part...:[

__________________
I cleared out my PM box...I promise. lol

madeinNY

thats so..deep.

Ah but you did read it and said the ending ruined the song, so you must've thought it somewhat good.

__________________
I cleared out my PM box...I promise. lol

either/or

in this song it just seems like she's singing this song for her lover or whatnot, like beautiful words and then at the end she just turns....into a jive talking street whore or something ( no offense i couldnt think of any other analogy)

__________________
Painstaking devotion and love
Surrendered to self preservation
From others who care for themselves
A blindness that touches perfection
But hurts just like anything else

Isolation, isolation, isolation

bungalowbill357

I think the part that Cazy bolded was pretty cliche and I agree that it should be taken out