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Old 03-10-2006, 06:53 PM  
Jadix
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Default Isla Vista Girls

I like this forum so far, got some good feedback. Lets see how you like this one that I wrote earlier this week. Its about college town girls.

It was a cool friday night
And I was feeling alright
I was drinking keystone light
When I saw her dressed in white
So I went and said hello
You remind me of the snow
Your blue eyes have got me cold
And at night I sleep alone

She laughed, looked at me and said
You should get used to it then
Tonight you'll be there again
Then she left with her boyfriend
So I found my way back home
Took a rip of white widow
Layed my head on my pillow
Then I fell asleep alone

Then it was Saturday night
Asked my homie for a light
The weed makes me feel alright
While I'm drinking nasty ice
Then some girlie said hello
Told me that I had to know
She forgot her bud at home
And she wanted to get stoned

I laughed, and packed her a bowl
Didn't worry me at all
But before we got too far
She was passed out in the hall
So I found my way back home
Took a rip of white widow
Layed my head on my pillow
And I fell asleep alone.
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Old 03-10-2006, 06:57 PM  
sleepy jack fire drill
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I like this one better then the last, I don't really have much to add. But its very good.
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Originally Posted by deathmetal666 View Post
how about i forcing feces down your fuucking throat. you try to vomit..
but you cant. Dimmu is way more brutal than whatever-the-fuuck you call bruUtal. i despise people like you.
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Old 03-10-2006, 07:01 PM  
Mama Booze
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It's clever, and it almost sneers at you. I like it very much. From what I read so far, you're a good writer.
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Old 03-10-2006, 07:22 PM  
Merkaba
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Awesome man. I don't know what music you'd put with that to keep the good rhyming lyrics as key focus, but it's damn good.
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Right you lot, shut it. Strewth Fowler my son, all looks a bit pear-shaped round here or what. The govenor's talking, Saturday's game, very dodgy, very naughty, could go a little pear-shaped. If there's a rough things might be well iffy. These faces are a little bit hard, know what I mean, a little bit of oof, have some of that my son, bosh, sorted, ta ta, got me, so be clever. Good, now shut it!
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Old 03-10-2006, 08:51 PM  
Jadix
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Wow, thanks.
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Old 03-10-2006, 08:54 PM  
Crazy Luv
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i agree with what Crowquill said
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Gotta Problem Wit Me...SOLVE IT..Think Im Trippin...TIE MA SHOE..Cant Face Me..THEN TURN DA FUCK AROUND

Though our hands are chained like they are
They haven't taken music from us yet

So that's how we'll fight

We'll never apologize for saying what we feel
Thats like apologizing just for being real
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