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03-20-2006, 04:23 PM
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Music Addict
Join Date: Dec 2005
Location: Chicago/St. Louie
Posts: 690
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Examining Love in the Case of Darling Mary
Haven't written on MB in awhile. Hope you enjoy one of my latest...
Examining Love in the Case of Darling Mary Darling Mary, malicious and malignant, Your crimes against man you see, are stains on the face of humanity. And today, through the loss of your integrity Shall you be purified, righted for wrongs, And before long shall the trial begin. Will the defendant please take the stand. Be courteous and follow this command... Prosecutor, your questions if you please. "Thank you, I'll deal with this disease." Darling Mary, first I address the deciet of your name! You are not Darling, nor merry - on the contrary... They find you in shadows with daggers for fingers, and wherever you walk the stench of a whore lingers. But I digress, you are innocent until proven guilty. Darling Mary, where were you on the night of May sixth? Don't even answer, I know you'll plead the Fifth. Were you not spread eagle on the floor of a Comfort Inn? Being taken by a drunk, the image is not comforting... Keep your mouth shut, your lies poison the very air we breathe.. I'm done here, my stomach churns with her in sight... Will the Defense please rise. Look into your client's eyes, Attempt to salvage her mistakes and crimes, Try to save her from her untimely lies. After much deliberation, your Honor, we have come to a conclusion... We cannot save this girl, our case is non existent- She is in fact a whore in every manner of representation.. We apologize for the waste of time, we loathe her... In your sentencing, please take this into consideration... She is a plague - a dysfunctional amalgamation. "I think I've heard enough" cried the white wigged Judge- The sentencing won't be tough, and I'm glad to see her go... I'll do this with a pleasure that she will never know... Darling Mary, you filthy pile of smeared lipstick and rouge... You have been found guilty in the Court of the Heart! Crimes of cutting and burning the whole of this tender body part... Cannot go unpunished, this breach is unacceptable... Your sentence is as follows, this may be hard to swallow... Live with this shame in the eyes of your peers, Let these deliberations haunt you for the rest of your years, Maybe someone low will care to take pity, Perhaps in a different town or a different city. But hear this, for now and forever more.... Darling Mary, you are a whore. |
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03-20-2006, 04:26 PM
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Bone Machine
Join Date: Nov 2004
Location: Jesusland
Posts: 17,242
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Its very nicely written, and it flows well.
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You're so evil and I'm so good, I'll make it up to you someday. |
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03-20-2006, 05:24 PM
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a l'amou fou pou tout
Join Date: Dec 2005
Location: NY
Posts: 378
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Crowe, you know thats good! Damn, darling mary reminds me of two of my friends. well one friend & one ex-friend. your flow is like no other, keep it up my nigga(even though you may not be a nigga *lol*)
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Gotta Problem Wit Me...SOLVE IT..Think Im Trippin...TIE MA SHOE..Cant Face Me..THEN TURN DA FUCK AROUND Though our hands are chained like they are They haven't taken music from us yet So that's how we'll fight We'll never apologize for saying what we feel
Thats like apologizing just for being real |
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03-21-2006, 01:00 AM
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infamous nimbus
Join Date: Mar 2006
Posts: 136
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ya its great. the only few lines i dont like are
Your crimes against man you see, are stains on the face of humanity. And today, through the loss of your integrity the rhyming just seems forced. |
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03-21-2006, 01:35 AM
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Music Addict
Join Date: Dec 2005
Location: Chicago/St. Louie
Posts: 690
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Ooo. Ok.. I see what you're saying about it seeing forced. How should I go about changing that... I won't take it out, because it adds to the story. Perhaps a little revision?
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03-21-2006, 08:00 AM
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infamous nimbus
Join Date: Mar 2006
Posts: 136
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how about
Your crimes against men it seems have stained on the face of humanity And today, through the loss of your integrity |
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03-21-2006, 09:00 AM
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Idontthinkyouknow
Join Date: Jan 2006
Location: Out of the Frying Pan
Posts: 103
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Sorry I just skimmed this one with two major thoughts:
1. The last line rocks. 2. Where or what could the music be?
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People Against People "Scientists in Taiwan say they have bred three pigs that glow in the dark." (Support Spam) |
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03-21-2006, 12:46 PM
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Music Addict
Join Date: Dec 2005
Location: Chicago/St. Louie
Posts: 690
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Maybe...
Understand, your crimes against man, have stained the face of humanity. And today, through the loss of your integrity.. and to Crashing Sun- I can merely fumble around with a guitar, I know basic chords, etc. I don't dare write music to my songs, because I won't do it justice. In any event, when I was writing it, I was influenced by the writing of Coheed and Cambria and Bob Dylan... when thinking about the song to music... I would say some sort of progressive sound, similar to the Mars Volta. |
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03-22-2006, 02:34 AM
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Music Addict
Join Date: Jul 2005
Posts: 135
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I really like this. The flow is great and I think putting music to it would be great. Keep it up!
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03-24-2006, 10:15 AM
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Groupie
Join Date: Mar 2006
Posts: 2
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nice lyrics. You're brave putting that up online.
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