~Disappointed~ (rap, show, songs, Hun, Horn)

Crazy Luv · 04-05-2006, 02:45 PM

You were doing so well I thought you would keep it up
You want me to trust you but you don’t show me why

Is it him that made you go back on it
Or is it them that persuaded you

You were happier and we got along better
But now that’s all draining away

I don’t want to lose you again and I don’t want it to be
The way it use to be, I just want you to stay clean

You’re once again becoming a little piece of nothing
To stoned to be thinking of what’s real

Hidden behind walls and unable to see
I thought you were strong but now I see you are weak

I’m trying to stay here for you but you’re making it hard on me
Thorns of time against the rose of the world

Soon enough it’ll be different, and you won’t have me
But maybe you’ll be happy since you still got your weed.

either/or · 04-06-2006, 06:59 AM

i like your rap songs better, these ones just seem so blurrrrtet.

Crazy Luv · 04-06-2006, 07:47 PM

this isnt a song hun

either/or · 04-06-2006, 09:40 PM

then what is it? teenage cliche rant?

jibber · 04-07-2006, 09:05 PM

yeah definitely not crazy about it, among other things, there's really no flow at all to it. plus, you're tackling a pretty serious subject with this one, and the language you've used makes it come off too predictable, and not really compelling enough to do justice to such a serious subject. But I think if you reworked it a bit to make your point in a less predictable way, it could be really good.

Crazy Luv · 04-10-2006, 04:15 PM

Fixed it up a lil bit, what you think?
Now im actually trying, before it was just a "rant", i guess. to mad to think straight.

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04-05-2006, 02:45 PM
Crazy Luv a l'amou fou pou tout Join Date: Dec 2005 Location: NY Posts: 376	~Disappointed~ You were doing so well I thought you would keep it up You want me to trust you but you don’t show me why Is it him that made you go back on it Or is it them that persuaded you You were happier and we got along better But now that’s all draining away I don’t want to lose you again and I don’t want it to be The way it use to be, I just want you to stay clean You’re once again becoming a little piece of nothing To stoned to be thinking of what’s real Hidden behind walls and unable to see I thought you were strong but now I see you are weak I’m trying to stay here for you but you’re making it hard on me Thorns of time against the rose of the world Soon enough it’ll be different, and you won’t have me But maybe you’ll be happy since you still got your weed. __________________ Gotta Problem Wit Me...SOLVE IT..Think Im Trippin...TIE MA SHOE..Cant Face Me..THEN TURN DA FUCK AROUND Though our hands are chained like they are They haven't taken music from us yet So that's how we'll fight We'll never apologize for saying what we feel Thats like apologizing just for being real

04-06-2006, 06:59 AM
either/or Don't think twice Join Date: Dec 2005 Location: A basement on the hill Posts: 379	i like your rap songs better, these ones just seem so blurrrrtet. __________________ Painstaking devotion and love Surrendered to self preservation From others who care for themselves A blindness that touches perfection But hurts just like anything else Isolation, isolation, isolation

04-06-2006, 07:47 PM
Crazy Luv a l'amou fou pou tout Join Date: Dec 2005 Location: NY Posts: 376	this isnt a song hun __________________ Gotta Problem Wit Me...SOLVE IT..Think Im Trippin...TIE MA SHOE..Cant Face Me..THEN TURN DA FUCK AROUND Though our hands are chained like they are They haven't taken music from us yet So that's how we'll fight We'll never apologize for saying what we feel Thats like apologizing just for being real

04-06-2006, 09:40 PM
either/or Don't think twice Join Date: Dec 2005 Location: A basement on the hill Posts: 379	then what is it? teenage cliche rant? __________________ Painstaking devotion and love Surrendered to self preservation From others who care for themselves A blindness that touches perfection But hurts just like anything else Isolation, isolation, isolation

04-07-2006, 09:05 PM
jibber Freeskier Join Date: Jan 2004 Location: Canuckistan Posts: 1,358	yeah definitely not crazy about it, among other things, there's really no flow at all to it. plus, you're tackling a pretty serious subject with this one, and the language you've used makes it come off too predictable, and not really compelling enough to do justice to such a serious subject. But I think if you reworked it a bit to make your point in a less predictable way, it could be really good. __________________ What you've done becomes the judge of what you're going to do -- especially in other people's minds. When you're traveling, you are what you are right there and then. People don't have your past to hold against you. No yesterdays on the road. William Least Heat Moon, Blue Highways Your toughest competitor lives in your head. Some days his name is fear, or pain, or gravity. Stomp his ass. HOOKED ON THE WHITE POWDER

04-10-2006, 04:15 PM
Crazy Luv a l'amou fou pou tout Join Date: Dec 2005 Location: NY Posts: 376	Fixed it up a lil bit, what you think? Now im actually trying, before it was just a "rant", i guess. to mad to think straight. __________________ Gotta Problem Wit Me...SOLVE IT..Think Im Trippin...TIE MA SHOE..Cant Face Me..THEN TURN DA FUCK AROUND Though our hands are chained like they are They haven't taken music from us yet So that's how we'll fight We'll never apologize for saying what we feel Thats like apologizing just for being real