Frances (Kurt Cobain, member, songs, Ching, hands)

TrampInaTux · 06-03-2006, 03:38 AM

EDITED.

And that's a really good idea... now I just need to find an old Nirvana song that suits... I'm thinking the Polly chorus. What do you think?

EDIT: Obviously I would change the lyrics though. I don't want to rape Kurt Cobain.

**right-track** · 06-03-2006, 03:40 AM

Sounds good. In my minds eye, if ever you get to play this, I like the idea of your words to an obvious Nirvana riff for the chorus.

TrampInaTux · 06-03-2006, 03:44 AM

Well this is gonna be pretty dam hard. I want to do the Polly chorus justice, without sounding like I'm mocking Cobain. Still, it will all be worth it in the end. Thanks for the tip mate

*has now forgiven right-track for ruining his 0% warning level*

**right-track** · 06-03-2006, 03:50 AM

I like this for your chorus (from teen spirit) even though it's the opening verse.
Has quite a thoughtful vibe.
Just change the words?

Load up on guns and bring your friends
It's fun to lose and to pretend
She's over bored and self assured
Oh no, I know a dirty word

EDIT: To be done in the Frances first person. Love the idea of you the songwriter referring to Frances in the verse and then the chorus sung by 'Frances'...if you know what I mean.

TrampInaTux · 06-03-2006, 03:52 AM

Nah... that's to much of an opening line... I doubt it would work as a chorus. It would feel very anti-climactic, in my opinion. I'm still thinking about that Polly chorus... I want one of Nirvana's 'quieter' songs, as I really wouldn't be able to do their famous 'shouty can't understand the lyrics' chorus' any justice.

**right-track** · 06-03-2006, 03:56 AM

It's not shouty it's quiet and reflective, but it's your song mate hehe.

I really like it, good job.

TrampInaTux · 06-03-2006, 04:00 AM

Ta. But don't you think that the greatness in that opening line is the way it builds up to the chorus? I think that if I put that line as the chorus, then never had anything powerful and loud to finish it with, it would just sound slightly stupid. Anyways thanks for the help, and if you think of any better Nirvana songs that would suit the chorus then feel free to tell me

Thanks

BITCH *felt he hadn't said bitch in a long time*

**right-track** · 06-03-2006, 04:03 AM

That's why you'll never make it Brum.

incesticide · 06-14-2006, 04:59 PM

I like it.

DontRunMeOver · 06-17-2006, 07:47 AM

That is a really good lyric, Hobo. They're right, it needs a proper chorus. I had an idea which is written below, hope it gives you some more ideas!

I messed around with the intro lyrics to smells like Teen Spirit (kind of warping each individual line, so it still fits to the same tune but goes with this song better). It could be tried as a chorus like right-track was suggesting before.

He brought the guns, his friends all came
He lost his own pretending game
So self assured and bored to death
A dirty word his dying breath

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06-03-2006, 03:38 AM
TrampInaTux that's my war face. Join Date: Nov 2005 Posts: 1,451	EDITED. And that's a really good idea... now I just need to find an old Nirvana song that suits... I'm thinking the Polly chorus. What do you think? EDIT: Obviously I would change the lyrics though. I don't want to rape Kurt Cobain.

06-03-2006, 03:40 AM
right-track Avin' It! Join Date: May 2005 Location: THE PEOPLES ЯEPUBLIK ФF MAИCUИIA Posts: 5,199	Sounds good. In my minds eye, if ever you get to play this, I like the idea of your words to an obvious Nirvana riff for the chorus. __________________ Choose Liverpool. Choose the dole queue. Choose to scam disability benefit. Choose mind-numbing, grinding efficiency over flair. Choose Torben Piechnik, Istvan Kozma and Paul Stewart. Choose not to win a single league title since the backpass rule was implemented. Choose penalties. Choose car stereos, hubcaps and stanley knives. Choose to trade on your proud sense of tradition and then not lift a finger in protest when two American billionaires who don't even know the name of your club decide to buy it. Choose to win the European Cup whilst only having to play seven matches. Choose to bask in a perpetual, sickening, media love-in. Choose celebrities who ** off out of your city as soon as they have earned the money to do so and then spend the rest of their lives harping on about how wonderful it is. Choose to sing about Munich until confronted with your own tragedy. Choose to end it all in an orgy of self pity, just another excuse to perpetuate the grief culture spawned by your selfish, insular **ed-up excuse for a city. Choose your future. Choose Scouse.

06-03-2006, 03:44 AM
TrampInaTux that's my war face. Join Date: Nov 2005 Posts: 1,451	Well this is gonna be pretty dam hard. I want to do the Polly chorus justice, without sounding like I'm mocking Cobain. Still, it will all be worth it in the end. Thanks for the tip mate has now forgiven right-track for ruining his 0% warning level

06-03-2006, 03:50 AM
right-track Avin' It! Join Date: May 2005 Location: THE PEOPLES ЯEPUBLIK ФF MAИCUИIA Posts: 5,199	I like this for your chorus (from teen spirit) even though it's the opening verse. Has quite a thoughtful vibe. Just change the words? Load up on guns and bring your friends It's fun to lose and to pretend She's over bored and self assured Oh no, I know a dirty word EDIT: To be done in the Frances first person. Love the idea of you the songwriter referring to Frances in the verse and then the chorus sung by 'Frances'...if you know what I mean. __________________ Choose Liverpool. Choose the dole queue. Choose to scam disability benefit. Choose mind-numbing, grinding efficiency over flair. Choose Torben Piechnik, Istvan Kozma and Paul Stewart. Choose not to win a single league title since the backpass rule was implemented. Choose penalties. Choose car stereos, hubcaps and stanley knives. Choose to trade on your proud sense of tradition and then not lift a finger in protest when two American billionaires who don't even know the name of your club decide to buy it. Choose to win the European Cup whilst only having to play seven matches. Choose to bask in a perpetual, sickening, media love-in. Choose celebrities who ** off out of your city as soon as they have earned the money to do so and then spend the rest of their lives harping on about how wonderful it is. Choose to sing about Munich until confronted with your own tragedy. Choose to end it all in an orgy of self pity, just another excuse to perpetuate the grief culture spawned by your selfish, insular **ed-up excuse for a city. Choose your future. Choose Scouse.

06-03-2006, 03:52 AM
TrampInaTux that's my war face. Join Date: Nov 2005 Posts: 1,451	Nah... that's to much of an opening line... I doubt it would work as a chorus. It would feel very anti-climactic, in my opinion. I'm still thinking about that Polly chorus... I want one of Nirvana's 'quieter' songs, as I really wouldn't be able to do their famous 'shouty can't understand the lyrics' chorus' any justice.

06-03-2006, 03:56 AM
right-track Avin' It! Join Date: May 2005 Location: THE PEOPLES ЯEPUBLIK ФF MAИCUИIA Posts: 5,199	It's not shouty it's quiet and reflective, but it's your song mate hehe. I really like it, good job. __________________ Choose Liverpool. Choose the dole queue. Choose to scam disability benefit. Choose mind-numbing, grinding efficiency over flair. Choose Torben Piechnik, Istvan Kozma and Paul Stewart. Choose not to win a single league title since the backpass rule was implemented. Choose penalties. Choose car stereos, hubcaps and stanley knives. Choose to trade on your proud sense of tradition and then not lift a finger in protest when two American billionaires who don't even know the name of your club decide to buy it. Choose to win the European Cup whilst only having to play seven matches. Choose to bask in a perpetual, sickening, media love-in. Choose celebrities who ** off out of your city as soon as they have earned the money to do so and then spend the rest of their lives harping on about how wonderful it is. Choose to sing about Munich until confronted with your own tragedy. Choose to end it all in an orgy of self pity, just another excuse to perpetuate the grief culture spawned by your selfish, insular **ed-up excuse for a city. Choose your future. Choose Scouse.

06-03-2006, 04:00 AM
TrampInaTux that's my war face. Join Date: Nov 2005 Posts: 1,451	Ta. But don't you think that the greatness in that opening line is the way it builds up to the chorus? I think that if I put that line as the chorus, then never had anything powerful and loud to finish it with, it would just sound slightly stupid. Anyways thanks for the help, and if you think of any better Nirvana songs that would suit the chorus then feel free to tell me Thanks BITCH felt he hadn't said bitch in a long time

06-03-2006, 04:03 AM
right-track Avin' It! Join Date: May 2005 Location: THE PEOPLES ЯEPUBLIK ФF MAИCUИIA Posts: 5,199	That's why you'll never make it Brum. __________________ Choose Liverpool. Choose the dole queue. Choose to scam disability benefit. Choose mind-numbing, grinding efficiency over flair. Choose Torben Piechnik, Istvan Kozma and Paul Stewart. Choose not to win a single league title since the backpass rule was implemented. Choose penalties. Choose car stereos, hubcaps and stanley knives. Choose to trade on your proud sense of tradition and then not lift a finger in protest when two American billionaires who don't even know the name of your club decide to buy it. Choose to win the European Cup whilst only having to play seven matches. Choose to bask in a perpetual, sickening, media love-in. Choose celebrities who ** off out of your city as soon as they have earned the money to do so and then spend the rest of their lives harping on about how wonderful it is. Choose to sing about Munich until confronted with your own tragedy. Choose to end it all in an orgy of self pity, just another excuse to perpetuate the grief culture spawned by your selfish, insular **ed-up excuse for a city. Choose your future. Choose Scouse.

06-14-2006, 04:59 PM
incesticide !!! Join Date: Feb 2006 Location: Merrimac, Massachusetts Posts: 71	I like it. __________________ why be famous? be infamous.