It's alright,and yeah, adding music can dramatically change the way it flows. I agree with explosions-in-my-pants on this one. It just needs a few minor adjustments. I'd say try thinking of a beat to put to it, maybe it'll give you a good flow to add more instruments and stuff to. Good first try. When a friend of mine and I posted our lyrics, we got nothing but bad remarks, but that's because it all came from the same sources..........Bungalow and his recruits.Yet I have never seen any of their stuff here, it takes guts to post stuff here. You are braver than they are.(in my opinion.)
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Ladies and gentlemen come here, major greeting
Your keeper of wickedry, the path to shangrila
Is missled by he, missled by you
He is of your negativity, he is of your hate
Meet the other half of the jugglin duo
That is your soul
The amazing jack jeckel!!!!
Jeckel another j catch one more
Theyll try and catch all thats instore for you
How many souls will fall from the sky?
How many souls burned wonderin why?
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