Tomorrow (show)

GI germs · 07-20-2006, 11:47 AM

Well
My dreams, they show too much
My heart is still pumping
But my bodies numb
The piece is there
But it just won’t fit
I can see the horizon
and I want no part in it

Oh, tomorrow
(tomorrow)
I’ll be hollow
You’ve borrowed too much
Sorry, sorry about that

I said “whatever”
I think the script gets worse
As I walk on with the weather
And I think someone is sleeping
I just hope they’ll wake up
When I need it

I don’t know what I’ve seen
But it bothers me
I can’t bear to see it again
And so I don’t sleep
Maybe my guesses are right
I just hope that I’m Insane

(1,2,3)
Oh, tomorrow
(tomorrow)
I’ll be hollow
You’ve borrowed too much
Sorry, sorry about that

Sorry, sorry I can’t understand

I’m so sorry because I’m freaked out
------------

yea or nay?

**sleepy jack** · 07-22-2006, 12:08 PM

"And I think someone is sleeping" Take out the "and" there, it sounds better without it. I liked it, like it was simple but not like, simple in the "wow this is stupid" kind of way.

Raine · 07-22-2006, 12:15 PM

I didn't like your very last line or your second to last stanza.
Otherwise I liked it.

(A lot)

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07-20-2006, 11:47 AM
GI germs punk rock panzy *got Join Date: Mar 2006 Location: black-f****-hole, florida Posts: 57	Tomorrow Well My dreams, they show too much My heart is still pumping But my bodies numb The piece is there But it just won’t fit I can see the horizon and I want no part in it Oh, tomorrow (tomorrow) I’ll be hollow You’ve borrowed too much Sorry, sorry about that I said “whatever” I think the script gets worse As I walk on with the weather And I think someone is sleeping I just hope they’ll wake up When I need it I don’t know what I’ve seen But it bothers me I can’t bear to see it again And so I don’t sleep Maybe my guesses are right I just hope that I’m Insane (1,2,3) Oh, tomorrow (tomorrow) I’ll be hollow You’ve borrowed too much Sorry, sorry about that Sorry, sorry I can’t understand I’m so sorry because I’m freaked out ------------ yea or nay? __________________ mmmmm....endorphins.

07-22-2006, 12:08 PM
sleepy jack Bone Machine Join Date: Nov 2004 Location: Jesusland Posts: 17,552	"And I think someone is sleeping" Take out the "and" there, it sounds better without it. I liked it, like it was simple but not like, simple in the "wow this is stupid" kind of way. __________________ I'm not blind, I believe in you.

07-22-2006, 12:15 PM
Raine Full-Time Hellion Join Date: Nov 2004 Location: PA Posts: 1,502	I didn't like your very last line or your second to last stanza. Otherwise I liked it. (A lot) __________________ A pair of powerful spectacles has sometimes sufficed to cure a person in love. ~ Friedrich Nietzsche