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Old 08-10-2006, 10:51 PM  
Trauma
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Default Open Hands

So Ethan (Crowquill) posted a bulletin on myspace just now and I saw that his display name was 'Closed Hands', I thought about what open hands would be like.



My hands are open
I let everything fall through
As the floor opens up
I fall too

In the sticky beer covered wood
You are stuck the exact same way
As we fall fast
More people have terrible things to say

Your salty tears get into my pockets
We don’t know what fists belong in which eyes
As we drink under the table
Cold hands engulf the varnish and lies

We pour the salt water over ourselves
And our bodies reject us
As the insides finally come out
Too many times do I care to fuss

But now I finally see how foolish I am
I let you trick the holes in me to be afraid of ending
As you fall through my shadow
The spike pit ground level is already mending

I watch you break as my faucet closes
You collide with a car
As the beer spills under your varnished table
More people file obediently into the bar

You fall much too fast
I’m not strong enough to catch your weight
As the flowers fill your grave
Cold hands are held too late
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Old 08-10-2006, 10:53 PM  
sleepy jack
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Dude, I just, love it, its very (old school) underoathy, the ending was like, asiodasdauspretty.
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Old 08-10-2006, 10:54 PM  
Trauma
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Thank you
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Old 08-10-2006, 10:55 PM  
Raine
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I liked the fast paced idea of it all.
And I like how the last two lines tie it all in together.

And I more than love the way the title seems to be more than fitting for the piece.
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Old 08-10-2006, 10:55 PM  
sleepy jack
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Okay, do you really need to quote the whole thing? Its just been bugging me for awhile to have to scroll through it twice, they know what you're talking about when you post. No need to quote it, it bugs me and i'd appreciate it if you'd just stop doing it.
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Old 08-10-2006, 10:56 PM  
Raine
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Crowquill
Okay, do you really need to quote the whole thing? Its just been bugging me for awhile to have to scroll through it twice, they know what you're talking about when you post. No need to quote it, it bugs me and i'd appreciate it if you'd just stop doing it.
No i don't need to quote the whole thing.
Although there is no rule saying I can't.
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