sleepy jack

Color Me Happy

I see the sky is turning a darker shade again, as the stars dance on the tree tops, staring at us from behind their masks, I suppose we can lay here in our awkward silence while I draw pictures in the dirt and you just stare at the sky without a care in your blue eyes.

Thats a burnt out star if I ever saw one and I believe we could ignite it again if we tried, but I suppose its too far out there now and i'll have to sleep in the dark yet again.

You know the sun never really sleeps, its just taking a break from watching us its the moons turn now in all its shining silver glory, I still stare at the dirt, each individual grain and you still watch the sky and I continue to see fairy tales in faint words and fainter lines.

You finally look at me, and ask me to draw a flower but the petals and too rough and the stem too awkward, yeah thats a lost cause if I ever saw one I believe we could fix it, and draw it again if you put your hand in mine, we keep our fingers aligned, we close our eyes and let our hearts guide those steady lines.

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Crowe

Take out the "babes" and you'll give the reader a chance not to be distracted by the break in the eloquence surrounding it. You'll also add about 10 years maturity to the piece.

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My silly experimental band:

www.myspace.com/boyfromthestarsmusic

sleepy jack

Ayee, I see what you mean.

*takes them out*

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Crowe

w00t, much better! Now it seems more serious, I think things like babe and honey, and sugar pie and other terms of endearment should be used VERY VERY sparingly in lyrics lest they take away from the emotion of the moment.

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My silly experimental band:

www.myspace.com/boyfromthestarsmusic

The Dave

Really great man, no complaints from except you have a few spelling mistakes in the 3rd and 4th paragraphs.

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My collection,winkwinkcoughcough