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11-21-2006, 06:30 AM
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They call me Tundra Boy
Join Date: Sep 2005
Location: In your linen cupboard.
Posts: 1,208
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Idea and Some lines Stolen from TrampinaTux - "LET'S PRETEND WE HAVE ESCAPED"
I stole this idea from TrampInaTux, of going on a train journey with somebody and feeling like you were running away with them. Nicked a few lines from him as well. I think I've made it into a slightly more direct and simple song and I'm pretty chuffed with the music for it.
Any criticism is appreciated, although picking out individual weak lines and suggesting how they could be changed would be the most helpful thing. Cheers. Let's Pretend We Have Escaped We board The train It's six in the morning The world is cold and crisp The air Is clear The excitement in our lungs Expelled as mist I feel You shiver Cold, adrenaline And hunger combined Take my coat Keep warm I'm here in t-shirt and jeans But I don't mind Let's pretend We have escaped Let's pretend We have escaped There's a map above our heads It tells us where we're going We sit together, eyes closed We prefer not knowing Let's pretend We have escaped You ask a question I respond Looking at the landscape My voice is choked We travel for An hour or two In-between lives It feels like we've eloped Let's pretend We have escaped Let's pretend We have escaped Our lives are like this train route Planned around a clock Linear and clockwork Measured start and stops So let's pretend We have escaped
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To listen to my music click this link - WWW.MYSPACE.COM/JODILEEPARKER Quote:
Last edited by DontRunMeOver : 11-21-2006 at 12:10 PM. |
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11-21-2006, 04:13 PM
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dance music
Join Date: Nov 2004
Posts: 17,772
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RECORDTHIS, which song was it you stole from?
I like it, especially that coat bit.
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I dyed my hair in a motel void met the coroner at the Dreamgate Frontier, He took my hand said I'll help you boy if you really want to disappear. |
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11-22-2006, 06:09 PM
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They call me Tundra Boy
Join Date: Sep 2005
Location: In your linen cupboard.
Posts: 1,208
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IT'S UP.
Once again, its on www.myspace.com/jodileeparker and is the song on auto-play on the player.
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To listen to my music click this link - WWW.MYSPACE.COM/JODILEEPARKER Quote:
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11-23-2006, 09:48 PM
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Music Addict
Join Date: Dec 2005
Location: Chicago/St. Louie
Posts: 727
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mm i liked it, nice loping guitar part and haunting vocals.
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