Go Back   Music Banter > Artists Corner > Song Writing, Lyrics and Poetry
Register Blogging Search Today's Posts Mark Forums Read

Welcome to Music Banter Forum! Make sure to register - it's free and very quick! You have to register before you can post and participate in our discussions with over 17,000 other registered members. After you create your free account, you will be able to customize many options, you will have the full access to over 300,000 posts.

Reply
 
Thread Tools Display Modes
Old 12-14-2006, 02:31 AM  
Blain
w0rd
 
Blain's Avatar
 
Join Date: Apr 2006
Location: Suva, Fiji
Posts: 1,032
Send a message via MSN to Blain
Default I Keep Running

I wrote this a while ago. So tell us what ya think.


I'm tired of this running
I'm made of so much more
I figured I'm going down
Better finish sore,
I hit the ground,
How did I go on?
The humiliation, the desperation
I thought that I was gone...
But I keep running...
But I keep running...

It's a matter of determination
It's a chance to redeem your pride
Never stop running
Never let it slide...

This travesty may be the end
I’m bored of all these tricks
No point in stopping now
‘Coz they’re all a bunch of pricks
When you saw me
You just walked on by
The devastation, the discrimination
This could mean I’m wrong…
But I keep running…
But I keep running…

It's a matter of determination
It's a chance to redeem your pride
Never stop running
Never let it slide...

It's a matter of determination
It's a chance to redeem your pride
Never stop running
Never let it slide...
Blain is offline   Reply With Quote
Old 12-26-2006, 03:23 AM  
Blain
w0rd
 
Blain's Avatar
 
Join Date: Apr 2006
Location: Suva, Fiji
Posts: 1,032
Send a message via MSN to Blain
Default

Someone wanna comment on this? I quite liked it
Blain is offline   Reply With Quote
Old 12-26-2006, 11:28 AM  
Trauma
Small-n
 
Trauma's Avatar
 
Join Date: Mar 2005
Location: Ypsilanti, Michigan
Posts: 2,026
Send a message via AIM to Trauma
Default

You have some good rhyme scheme and message.
However, you repeated a few words a couple too many times, and used the word "I" too much.

Not bad though.
__________________
Quote:
Originally Posted by Crowquill View Post
Don't even bother trying to argue with me. I know more about music than you do.
Trauma is offline   Reply With Quote
Old 12-26-2006, 04:50 PM  
beat_monkey
Groupie
 
Join Date: Jul 2006
Location: scotland
Posts: 39
Send a message via MSN to beat_monkey Send a message via Skype™ to beat_monkey
Default

i quite liked it. it was a nice little song
__________________
those of you in the cheap seats clap to this one, the rest of you just rattle your jewellery. - John Lennon
beat_monkey is offline   Reply With Quote
Old 12-28-2006, 12:10 AM  
Kyren Tsunami
Music Addict
 
Kyren Tsunami's Avatar
 
Join Date: Feb 2006
Posts: 65
Default

quite strong on the message tho and very singable
__________________
all the songs I've Wrotes cames from experiences from the past, present and future.
Kyren Tsunami is offline   Reply With Quote
Reply
Thread Tools
Display Modes

Similar Threads



© 2008 Advameg, Inc.

SEO by vBSEO 3.0.0 RC8 ©2007, Crawlability, Inc.