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12-14-2006, 02:31 AM
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w0rd
Join Date: Apr 2006
Location: Suva, Fiji
Posts: 1,032
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I Keep Running
I wrote this a while ago. So tell us what ya think.
I'm tired of this running I'm made of so much more I figured I'm going down Better finish sore, I hit the ground, How did I go on? The humiliation, the desperation I thought that I was gone... But I keep running... But I keep running... It's a matter of determination It's a chance to redeem your pride Never stop running Never let it slide... This travesty may be the end I’m bored of all these tricks No point in stopping now ‘Coz they’re all a bunch of pricks When you saw me You just walked on by The devastation, the discrimination This could mean I’m wrong… But I keep running… But I keep running… It's a matter of determination It's a chance to redeem your pride Never stop running Never let it slide... It's a matter of determination It's a chance to redeem your pride Never stop running Never let it slide... |
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12-26-2006, 03:23 AM
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w0rd
Join Date: Apr 2006
Location: Suva, Fiji
Posts: 1,032
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Someone wanna comment on this? I quite liked it
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12-26-2006, 11:28 AM
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Small-n
Join Date: Mar 2005
Location: Ypsilanti, Michigan
Posts: 2,026
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You have some good rhyme scheme and message.
However, you repeated a few words a couple too many times, and used the word "I" too much. Not bad though.
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12-26-2006, 04:50 PM
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Groupie
Join Date: Jul 2006
Location: scotland
Posts: 39
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i quite liked it. it was a nice little song
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those of you in the cheap seats clap to this one, the rest of you just rattle your jewellery. - John Lennon |
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12-28-2006, 12:10 AM
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Music Addict
Join Date: Feb 2006
Posts: 65
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quite strong on the message tho and very singable
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all the songs I've Wrotes cames from experiences from the past, present and future. |
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