My Christmas Song (tune, quote, songs)

Crowe · 12-20-2006, 02:18 AM

I believe the songwriters were asked to write a Christmas song... here's mine.

I think it's best to warn you that this is entirely a joke and very crude. I know this. If you think it's funny, great, if not... well, sorry dudes. Imagine this to a very "happy" tune like most Christmas songs are.

My Christmas Song

I'd have my way with,
Mrs. Claus and I will tell you how.
I'd tie her down with tinsel,
And stick a candy cane in her mouth.
And just when Santa leaves,
To deliver his presents to the girls and boys.
I'll start to use my own set of toys.
And with a glint in her eye,
Mrs. Claus will begin to laugh with glee.

I'm screwin' Mrs. Claus,
And she's screwin' me!
Every year around this time,
It's a HO HO HO indeed!

And if we are ever caught by,
Jolly Old St. Nick!
I'd ask him to join us and if he refuses,
Mrs. Claus will grab him by his (robe)
And with a Hey we'll ride in his sleigh,
High into the night.
We'll drop Ole' Santa from the air,
Where he lands who will care?
Then back on the bearskin rug,
She and I will go!
This is where the Elves cheer us on,
As I give her a throw!
Oh Crowe!

I'm screwin' Mrs. Claus,
And she's screwin' me!
Every year around this time,
It's a HO HO HO indeed!

Now, I'm the new Santa,
And I tell you what,
I'm too fvckin lazy
To get off my Santa butt.
So those presents you're used to,
Yeah well, maybe next year.
That's if I'm not gettin' a hummer,
Next to the nine reindeer.

It's a HO HO HO indeed!
It's a HO HO HO indeed!
It's a HO HO HO indeed!

(Mrs. Claus' voice)
Especially when CROWE CROWE CROWE's in ME!

**sleepy jack** · 12-20-2006, 05:56 PM

Omggggggggg

jibber · 12-24-2006, 12:31 AM

you are one twisted bastard

I like it

_Spinning_ · 12-24-2006, 01:04 AM

That is ****ing awesome.
You own.

Raine · 12-24-2006, 02:00 PM

Can I be Mrs. Claus

littleknowitall · 12-24-2006, 04:48 PM

Can i be an Elf?

Crowe · 12-24-2006, 05:30 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Raine

Can I be Mrs. Claus

I'm surprised that you felt like you had to ask. Of course you're Mrs. Claus.

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12-20-2006, 02:18 AM
Crowe Music Addict Join Date: Dec 2005 Location: Chicago/St. Louie Posts: 726	My Christmas Song I believe the songwriters were asked to write a Christmas song... here's mine. I think it's best to warn you that this is entirely a joke and very crude. I know this. If you think it's funny, great, if not... well, sorry dudes. Imagine this to a very "happy" tune like most Christmas songs are. My Christmas Song I'd have my way with, Mrs. Claus and I will tell you how. I'd tie her down with tinsel, And stick a candy cane in her mouth. And just when Santa leaves, To deliver his presents to the girls and boys. I'll start to use my own set of toys. And with a glint in her eye, Mrs. Claus will begin to laugh with glee. I'm screwin' Mrs. Claus, And she's screwin' me! Every year around this time, It's a HO HO HO indeed! And if we are ever caught by, Jolly Old St. Nick! I'd ask him to join us and if he refuses, Mrs. Claus will grab him by his (robe) And with a Hey we'll ride in his sleigh, High into the night. We'll drop Ole' Santa from the air, Where he lands who will care? Then back on the bearskin rug, She and I will go! This is where the Elves cheer us on, As I give her a throw! Oh Crowe! I'm screwin' Mrs. Claus, And she's screwin' me! Every year around this time, It's a HO HO HO indeed! Now, I'm the new Santa, And I tell you what, I'm too fvckin lazy To get off my Santa butt. So those presents you're used to, Yeah well, maybe next year. That's if I'm not gettin' a hummer, Next to the nine reindeer. It's a HO HO HO indeed! It's a HO HO HO indeed! It's a HO HO HO indeed! (Mrs. Claus' voice) Especially when CROWE CROWE CROWE's in ME! __________________ My silly experimental band: www.myspace.com/boyfromthestarsmusic

12-20-2006, 05:56 PM
sleepy jack Bone Machine Join Date: Nov 2004 Location: Jesusland Posts: 17,561	Omggggggggg __________________ I'm not blind, I believe in you.

12-24-2006, 12:31 AM
jibber Freeskier Join Date: Jan 2004 Location: Canuckistan Posts: 1,326	you are one twisted bastard I like it __________________ What you've done becomes the judge of what you're going to do -- especially in other people's minds. When you're traveling, you are what you are right there and then. People don't have your past to hold against you. No yesterdays on the road. William Least Heat Moon, Blue Highways Your toughest competitor lives in your head. Some days his name is fear, or pain, or gravity. Stomp his ass. HOOKED ON THE WHITE POWDER

12-24-2006, 02:00 PM
Raine Full-Time Hellion Join Date: Nov 2004 Location: PA Posts: 1,502	Can I be Mrs. Claus __________________ A pair of powerful spectacles has sometimes sufficed to cure a person in love. ~ Friedrich Nietzsche

12-24-2006, 04:48 PM
littleknowitall Pow! Join Date: Dec 2005 Location: Swansea, Wales, UK. Posts: 1,502	Can i be an Elf? __________________ My Myspace. My Bands Myspace - Please Show Some Love Here. My Youtube. My Ultimate Guitar.