Running Over The Sexy Imperfect Everything (Kiss, hands, Hang)

sleepy jack · 01-22-2007, 05:21 AM

I've been on a roll lately.

Running Over The Sexy Imperfect Everything

We ran like the sun was going to burn us alive,
Past different towns, different places,
Never a thought to which way we went,
Past prairies with electric fences,
Forever trapped behind the lightning,
But we ran free, our hands let go of our hearts,
It as if knew, eachother is where we had to start.

We'd hold eachother, trace the skyline for ghosts,
But we couldn't see nothing in the blinding light,
So we'd wait for the night and see the beautiful sky,
But in the day this world seems full of moths,
And we're two of kind, my love, just butterflies.

We saw thunder crack through the sky though,
As scary as it was beautiful we looked at it,
Like a forgotten dream suddenly come back,
After the morning's shower hits your face,
Shimmering and shining, the slivers of so white,
They were like fissures of light.

Its been so long that we've been running,
Never knowing where we were really coming,
We ran in search of change, but its all the same,
And I think thats beautiful,
We still search for ghosts,
Trace the sky in eachothers arms,
Awkwardly feel eachothers skin before sleep takes us away,
We still trace the sky, and we never dream of seeing
The world through a glass window,
We never even think of being captured,
We still search for ghosts every night,
We still kiss each other in the morning light,
And though everything seems the same,
And I wouldn't have it any other way,
Eveything must like this remain,
Except how our love continues to grow every day,
Let these emotions grow with constant pace,
While only the scenery continues to change.

Alo · 01-22-2007, 06:38 AM

I like it in a way. It's a nice metaphor, but it doesn't really get any emotions from me... It's well written though.

Besides one part:

''And though everything seems the same,
And I wouldn't have it any other way,
Every thing may stay the same,
Except how our love continues to grow every day,
Everything may stay the same,
But the scenery continues to change.''

You should try using different words for something staying the same. Because the sentences in between are great! They just lose some power over this repetitiveness (if that is a word, that is...).
You could try something like this:

And though everything seems the same,
And I wouldn't have it any other way,
Eveything must like this remain,
Except how our love continues to grow every day,
Let these emotions grow with constant pace,
While only the scenery continues to change.

^But that of course is just grasping straws.

sleepy jack · 01-22-2007, 04:42 PM

I think i'll go for that exactly actually. It does sound better, thank you

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01-22-2007, 05:21 AM
sleepy jack dance music Join Date: Nov 2004 Posts: 17,770	Running Over The Sexy Imperfect Everything I've been on a roll lately. Running Over The Sexy Imperfect Everything We ran like the sun was going to burn us alive, Past different towns, different places, Never a thought to which way we went, Past prairies with electric fences, Forever trapped behind the lightning, But we ran free, our hands let go of our hearts, It as if knew, eachother is where we had to start. We'd hold eachother, trace the skyline for ghosts, But we couldn't see nothing in the blinding light, So we'd wait for the night and see the beautiful sky, But in the day this world seems full of moths, And we're two of kind, my love, just butterflies. We saw thunder crack through the sky though, As scary as it was beautiful we looked at it, Like a forgotten dream suddenly come back, After the morning's shower hits your face, Shimmering and shining, the slivers of so white, They were like fissures of light. Its been so long that we've been running, Never knowing where we were really coming, We ran in search of change, but its all the same, And I think thats beautiful, We still search for ghosts, Trace the sky in eachothers arms, Awkwardly feel eachothers skin before sleep takes us away, We still trace the sky, and we never dream of seeing The world through a glass window, We never even think of being captured, We still search for ghosts every night, We still kiss each other in the morning light, And though everything seems the same, And I wouldn't have it any other way, Eveything must like this remain, Except how our love continues to grow every day, Let these emotions grow with constant pace, While only the scenery continues to change. __________________ I dyed my hair in a motel void met the coroner at the Dreamgate Frontier, He took my hand said I'll help you boy if you really want to disappear.

01-22-2007, 06:38 AM
Alo Scarf Join Date: May 2006 Posts: 718	I like it in a way. It's a nice metaphor, but it doesn't really get any emotions from me... It's well written though. Besides one part: ''And though everything seems the same, And I wouldn't have it any other way, Every thing may stay the same, Except how our love continues to grow every day, Everything may stay the same, But the scenery continues to change.'' You should try using different words for something staying the same. Because the sentences in between are great! They just lose some power over this repetitiveness (if that is a word, that is...). You could try something like this: And though everything seems the same, And I wouldn't have it any other way, Eveything must like this remain, Except how our love continues to grow every day, Let these emotions grow with constant pace, While only the scenery continues to change. ^But that of course is just grasping straws. __________________ I rocked my shoelaces untied

01-22-2007, 04:42 PM
sleepy jack dance music Join Date: Nov 2004 Posts: 17,770	I think i'll go for that exactly actually. It does sound better, thank you __________________ I dyed my hair in a motel void met the coroner at the Dreamgate Frontier, He took my hand said I'll help you boy if you really want to disappear.