Confused (fan, quote, talent, Hang)

skindredluver · 02-02-2007, 09:57 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Stu

it needs a lot of work, im a fan of very short poems but this doesnt make the cut for me. your not the worst i've seen though

I still stand by what i say!

ZeppelinAir · 02-02-2007, 10:18 PM

Quote:

^you've gone a long way though

so i am

, im going to cry in the corner now

Stu · 02-02-2007, 10:22 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by skindredluver

I still stand by what i say!

good stuff, accepting criticism is half the battle, just work on it and i think it'll be rather good

skindredluver · 02-03-2007, 11:43 AM

Thanx I will keep trying

Kevorkian Logic · 02-03-2007, 01:38 PM

the word choice needs a little help. The 3rd grade vocabulary choice doesnt make it that powerful. But it's the first non-emo cliched riddled poem/lyrics that I have read on this site, which makes it my favorite.

Stu · 02-03-2007, 02:42 PM

Quote:

I cant stand this pain anymore

you what?

skindredluver · 02-03-2007, 06:24 PM

As in it hurts how they always fight and yell you know

sleepy jack · 02-04-2007, 12:24 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Kevorkian Logic

the word choice needs a little help. The 3rd grade vocabulary choice doesnt make it that powerful. But it's the first non-emo cliched riddled poem/lyrics that I have read on this site, which makes it my favorite.

This made me LOL.

Plus hating lyrics based on the group you place them in yourself is also pretty awesome.

And your typical emo bands lyrics are very good, but you probably think Fall Out Boy is emo so whatever.

Oh skindredluver, read a book expand your vocabulary and read better peoples stuff and all that jazz. Because theres no vocabulary, its boring too read and a bland topic.

A_Perfect_Sonnet · 02-04-2007, 12:26 AM

In an effort to make Kovorkian Logic feel stupid, let's play "Spot the Cliched Words and Phrases Game," where anything cliched is in bold type face. READY? GO

Quote:

Originally Posted by skindredluver

I dont want to stay here anymore
I really cant tell you how I feel
Cause i know youll take it wrong
I have nothing else to confess
I already got it all off my chest
It hurts me more and more every day
Not quite sure if im gonna go away
I cant stand this pain anymore
Its really getting old
Your yelling and screaming
All the things ruined
Nothing survives our fights
For some reason i wish
I could make up my mind

Kevorkian Logic · 02-04-2007, 07:37 AM

it's not cliched as most of the lyrics are. i'm talking "I'm tired of playing this game of life" cliches. I mean if you say that whole poem is a cliche, then basically saying emotions are cliche.

I was also trying to be nice because I just had insulted her.

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02-03-2007, 11:43 AM
skindredluver Im Just As Sweet!!!:) Join Date: Nov 2006 Location: america Posts: 584	Thanx I will keep trying __________________ Let them live in the stillness and know the flame. They will loose all and give all.. Boys are like lava lamps: fun to look at but not so bright Coffee, chocolate and men, some things are just better rich

02-03-2007, 01:38 PM
Kevorkian Logic pikajew Join Date: Jan 2007 Location: North Carolina Posts: 986	the word choice needs a little help. The 3rd grade vocabulary choice doesnt make it that powerful. But it's the first non-emo cliched riddled poem/lyrics that I have read on this site, which makes it my favorite. __________________ She was laughing like crazy at the trouble I'm in Her light eyes were dancing she is insane Schizophrenia is taking me home

02-03-2007, 06:24 PM
skindredluver Im Just As Sweet!!!:) Join Date: Nov 2006 Location: america Posts: 584	As in it hurts how they always fight and yell you know __________________ Let them live in the stillness and know the flame. They will loose all and give all.. Boys are like lava lamps: fun to look at but not so bright Coffee, chocolate and men, some things are just better rich

02-04-2007, 07:37 AM
Kevorkian Logic pikajew Join Date: Jan 2007 Location: North Carolina Posts: 986	it's not cliched as most of the lyrics are. i'm talking "I'm tired of playing this game of life" cliches. I mean if you say that whole poem is a cliche, then basically saying emotions are cliche. I was also trying to be nice because I just had insulted her. __________________ She was laughing like crazy at the trouble I'm in Her light eyes were dancing she is insane Schizophrenia is taking me home