sleepy jack

Some experimenting lyrically, my new pieces will probably be taking two themes one really imagery focused the other more rhyme and flow focused, I plan to eventually combine them but I have trouble.


My Love, Love Is Not The Enemy

A lovely blue gown came to embrace the night,
And as the moons light seem to get swallowed by you,
Your skin so gently colored, with just the right amount of light,
And your eyelids they gently close, like such an awkward dance,
They kick and jump a few times, but in the end you close your glance,
So as sleep it takes you, to paint pictures that I love,
I'll curl up so close to you, and you'll know what I dream of.

And we wake shivering so cold, as our breath is seen,
Carried away into the wind, to become one with the earth,
As our hearts and our love gently begin to stir,
We watch the fields flood with sunlight,
And we watch the trees placed in the fields palm,
And listen to the birds gentle lovers song.

So I watch it all, the sun yellow on the green, and the skys blue,
And sit here and watch this masterpiece unfold, its beauty reminding me of you.

__________________
I dyed my hair in a motel void met the coroner at the Dreamgate Frontier,
He took my hand said I'll help you boy if you really want to disappear.

Alo

I like it, except for this part
''And we wake shivering so cold, as our breath is seen,
Carried away into the wind, to become one with the earth,''
It doesn't fit the feeling I get with the rest with the song. It seems a bit too dramatic in a negative way. The rest is more of a soft light sweetish song, so that ''dark'' part seems a bit out of place.

__________________

I rocked my shoelaces untied

ZeppelinAir

i like it, i had various images running through my mind and it painted a good picture

__________________
Little Things

"Sittin on a Toilet in a house i dont know, looking all around where the toilet paper go. feeling real uneasy, feeling real uncertain, got to wipe my ass again with a plastic shower curtain" Rodney Carrington-Little Things