The Last Will and Testament of Ryan Crowe (single, member)

Crowe · 02-10-2007, 05:00 AM

The only thing someone could ask for before they take their final journey.

Last Will and Testament of Ryan Crowe

I want to be remembered,
For the things I had said,
As though my words helped you live,
My words are scribbled in pages,
Of your child's notebook and,
Carved into the insides of your mouth.

I want to be forgotten,
Should I cause you pain,
And left by the wayside again,
My actions erased from memories,
Leaving only the good times,
In the hollows of your bones.

I want to be celebrated,
For the love I used to spread,
Because even after my death,
The impact carries on,
Through the hearts of my own,
Into the hearths of their homes.

I want to be hated,
Should I leave the earth in strife,
As if a single tear were shed,
From the fear of my name,
If it passes your lips like poison,
Burn my picture by candlelight.

I want to be loved,
My funeral is a gathering,
For all of those who cared.
Sing songs to my coffin,
With no sign of pain or despair.
Sing to my memory, like I'm singing to you today.

R. Crowe

PaperHurricanesAndPlanes · 02-10-2007, 08:35 AM

Burn my picture by candlelight. < Then burn... Other than that, I really dug this though.

Crowe · 02-10-2007, 11:25 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by PaperHurricanesAndPlanes

Burn my picture by candlelight. < Then burn... Other than that, I really dug this though.

oh add then to the word burn? i'll try that out. Thx Phap!@

Everyone else, how does the Then look?

Trauma · 02-10-2007, 01:33 PM

Then is not necessary.

I liked it for the most part, but it's disappointing; it's not one of your best works, and the subject matter is extremely resolute.
Maybe you understand where I'm coming from.

Good things I noticed were: good flow and imagery.
Bad things I noticed were: the excess commas, those seem completely useless, because the flow in this poem isn't the same as "The Warmth in Those Dying Years" or "She Smiled For All of Us", the words don't cross over lines to begin new thoughts.
Too simple.
Maybe it's just the fact that it didn't evoke much emotion, it seemed too monotonous and plain to be describing your last will in this world.
Even more so seeing as how the poem is actually about you personally.

Crowe · 02-10-2007, 02:10 PM

I've noticed that people don't like my simple songs as much as my grandiose ones... I've been told that the simple songs and the non-simple songs sound like they are written by two completely different people. When I actually put music to the songs though, more often than not - my simple songs come out much better than the wordy ones... although one could say - well that's the music not the writing - which may be true. I try to write things simpler, because if I'm left to my own devices you get 2-3 page poems like "I Wonder" or "The Warmth in Those Dying Years". I also think this is funny, because I like this song/poem more than a lot of the things I've written - but I guess when I write it, I'm singing it and whatnot, and you guys can't hear that. The same thing happened with "Sooner or Later" - people were meh on it, but I love it.

sleepy jack · 02-10-2007, 03:26 PM

I actually like it better then some of your lengthy poems, it has this vibe to it that kind of reminds me of elliott smith in parts.

Stu · 02-10-2007, 07:40 PM

i like poets that dont over elaborate and i think you've shown a really good level of discipline with this piece. its not perfect but i like it alot.

Trauma · 02-10-2007, 10:01 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Crowquill

reminds me of elliott smith in parts.

Yeah definitely, this would be a much better song than just a written poem, it was far too simple to be a thought-provoking poem like your more lengthy ones.

Thread Tools
Show Printable Version Email this Page
Display Modes
Linear Mode Switch to Hybrid Mode Switch to Threaded Mode

02-10-2007, 05:00 AM
Crowe Music Addict Join Date: Dec 2005 Location: Chicago/St. Louie Posts: 663	The Last Will and Testament of Ryan Crowe The only thing someone could ask for before they take their final journey. Last Will and Testament of Ryan Crowe I want to be remembered, For the things I had said, As though my words helped you live, My words are scribbled in pages, Of your child's notebook and, Carved into the insides of your mouth. I want to be forgotten, Should I cause you pain, And left by the wayside again, My actions erased from memories, Leaving only the good times, In the hollows of your bones. I want to be celebrated, For the love I used to spread, Because even after my death, The impact carries on, Through the hearts of my own, Into the hearths of their homes. I want to be hated, Should I leave the earth in strife, As if a single tear were shed, From the fear of my name, If it passes your lips like poison, Burn my picture by candlelight. I want to be loved, My funeral is a gathering, For all of those who cared. Sing songs to my coffin, With no sign of pain or despair. Sing to my memory, like I'm singing to you today. R. Crowe __________________ Hi. I'm Crowe. This is my sig. My love finally resting, A solemn corpse buried in you. My silly experimental band: www.myspace.com/boyfromthestarsmusic Last edited by Crowe : 02-10-2007 at 02:07 PM.

02-10-2007, 08:35 AM
PaperHurricanesAndPlanes Bad motherfücker Join Date: Jan 2007 Location: In The Realms of Poetry Posts: 515	Burn my picture by candlelight. < Then burn... Other than that, I really dug this though. __________________ Say what again motherfucker, I double dare you, say what one mo' goddamned time!

02-10-2007, 02:10 PM
Crowe Music Addict Join Date: Dec 2005 Location: Chicago/St. Louie Posts: 663	I've noticed that people don't like my simple songs as much as my grandiose ones... I've been told that the simple songs and the non-simple songs sound like they are written by two completely different people. When I actually put music to the songs though, more often than not - my simple songs come out much better than the wordy ones... although one could say - well that's the music not the writing - which may be true. I try to write things simpler, because if I'm left to my own devices you get 2-3 page poems like "I Wonder" or "The Warmth in Those Dying Years". I also think this is funny, because I like this song/poem more than a lot of the things I've written - but I guess when I write it, I'm singing it and whatnot, and you guys can't hear that. The same thing happened with "Sooner or Later" - people were meh on it, but I love it. __________________ Hi. I'm Crowe. This is my sig. My love finally resting, A solemn corpse buried in you. My silly experimental band: www.myspace.com/boyfromthestarsmusic

02-10-2007, 07:40 PM
Stu Be like a squirrel Join Date: Nov 2004 Location: London, England Posts: 3,134	i like poets that dont over elaborate and i think you've shown a really good level of discipline with this piece. its not perfect but i like it alot. __________________ This is me. http://www.myspace.com/limbodwelling Good evening i unzipped my skin thankfully unscrewed my head exactly as i always do when i prepare myself for bed and while i slept this co-co came as naked as could be he put on the skin and screwed on the head that once belonged to me