A Note on the Inside (Muse)

Stu · 02-15-2007, 02:48 PM

I cannot stand these feelings that,
Cause me to plan my every day,
Because of them my heart is flat,
My loved ones are the ones that pay,
I understand the formulas,
But from them I have no reward,
I know what every program does,
And from my muse I am assured,
Its for the future of our lives,
This must be done - this is required,
I have to question, is this strife?
And all the pain that I've acquired
Worth the destruction of my heart
Or should I play another part

ZeppelinAir · 02-15-2007, 04:40 PM

well it kept reading pretty easly, its got pretty good rhyming, but there was something about it that was a little dull, but i cant exactly say what

**sleepy jack** · 02-15-2007, 10:26 PM

I cannot stand these feelings that,
Cause me to plan my every day,
Because of them my heart is flat,

Those three lines were just really blegh, the rest is solid though.

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02-15-2007, 02:48 PM
Stu Be like a squirrel Join Date: Nov 2004 Location: London, England Posts: 3,134	A Note on the Inside I cannot stand these feelings that, Cause me to plan my every day, Because of them my heart is flat, My loved ones are the ones that pay, I understand the formulas, But from them I have no reward, I know what every program does, And from my muse I am assured, Its for the future of our lives, This must be done - this is required, I have to question, is this strife? And all the pain that I've acquired Worth the destruction of my heart Or should I play another part __________________ This is me. http://www.myspace.com/limbodwelling Good evening i unzipped my skin thankfully unscrewed my head exactly as i always do when i prepare myself for bed and while i slept this co-co came as naked as could be he put on the skin and screwed on the head that once belonged to me

02-15-2007, 04:40 PM
ZeppelinAir hahahHAHAHahaha.......ha Join Date: Jun 2006 Location: somewhere in Michigan Posts: 544	well it kept reading pretty easly, its got pretty good rhyming, but there was something about it that was a little dull, but i cant exactly say what __________________ Little Things "Sittin on a Toilet in a house i dont know, looking all around where the toilet paper go. feeling real uneasy, feeling real uncertain, got to wipe my ass again with a plastic shower curtain" Rodney Carrington-Little Things

02-15-2007, 10:26 PM
sleepy jack Bone Machine Join Date: Nov 2004 Location: Jesusland Posts: 17,242	I cannot stand these feelings that, Cause me to plan my every day, Because of them my heart is flat, Those three lines were just really blegh, the rest is solid though. __________________ You're so evil and I'm so good, I'll make it up to you someday.