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Old 02-17-2007, 01:00 PM  
Dark Circle
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Default Mistaken Evil

Will you be my friend?
Friend until the end?
If you chose not to be my friend,
You're gonna die, die, die in pain!!!
Can you think for once!?
You'll be what I want!
If you are one that walks my path
for now you'll run away from death!

Kill my tears and rape my sorrow
This is now, it's not tomorrow
If it's not for real then we should die!
Be my evil, as I, forgotten
I'm like this 'cause they've mistaken
Maybe if you run, we'll get away

Will you be my friend?
Friend until the end?
If you chose to become my friend
you're gonna get to breathe again
Do you want to live!?
What have you to give?
If you say you'll be friends with me
You're get to see the day!

Kill my tears and rape my sorrow
This is now, it's not tomorrow
If it's not for real then we should die!
Be my evil, as I, forgotten
I'm like this 'cause they've mistaken
Maybe if you run, we'll get away

What you want's irrelevant
What you'll be is what I want
Be my friend and you will breathe
be my friend and you won't bleed!

Kill my tears and rape my sorrow
This is now, it's not tomorrow
If it's not for real then we should die!
Be my evil, as I, forgotten
I'm like this 'cause they've mistaken
Maybe if you run, we'll get away
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Old 02-17-2007, 01:19 PM  
sleepy jack
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Default

Quote:
Will you be my friend?
Friend until the end?
If you chose not to be my friend,
You're gonna die, die, die in pain!!!
Can you think for once!?
You'll be what I want!
If you are one that walks my path
for now you'll run away from death!
DIE DIE DIE IN PAIN?! surely not!

This is terrible, i've yet to hear a song about killing someone in the coming from the writer sense that is good, this is no exception.

Quote:
Kill my tears and rape my sorrow
This is now, it's not tomorrow
If it's not for real then we should die!
Be my evil, as I, forgotten
I'm like this 'cause they've mistaken
Maybe if you run, we'll get away

Kill my tears, rape my sorrow? You need to make the vocabulary less morbid, it doesn't do anything for the piece other then make it dark, and not in a good way.

Quote:
Will you be my friend?
Friend until the end?
If you chose to become my friend
you're gonna get to breathe again
Do you want to live!?
What have you to give?
If you say you'll be friends with me
You're get to see the day!
Yeah, so you're going to murder them if they aren't your friend...awesome.

Quote:
Kill my tears and rape my sorrow
This is now, it's not tomorrow
If it's not for real then we should die!
Be my evil, as I, forgotten
I'm like this 'cause they've mistaken
Maybe if you run, we'll get away
See above.

Quote:
What you want's irrelevant
What you'll be is what I want
Be my friend and you will breathe
be my friend and you won't bleed!
You won't bleed? cmon.

Quote:
Kill my tears and rape my sorrow
This is now, it's not tomorrow
If it's not for real then we should die!
Be my evil, as I, forgotten
I'm like this 'cause they've mistaken
Maybe if you run, we'll get away
*yawn*

I tried to not be an asshole with this, but this is just terrible. Quit trying so hard to be goth metal or whatever it is you're trying to me. Some of these lines are just...urgh. "Kill my tears and rape my sorrow"? Cmon.
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Old 02-17-2007, 01:44 PM  
Dark Circle
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Now, this is what I call bad lyrics, but still the song is to be recorded and put on my album because it really tells about the darkest period of my life and I will put every song, that is a part of a story that is im my head, on the album. The irony is that the melody in the song is quite happy and catchy and, without the music and lyrics, it would make a great children song...
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www.myspace.com/worldofdarkcircle
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Old 02-17-2007, 01:46 PM  
swim
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This is laughable. I mean it's really bad.
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Old 02-17-2007, 01:53 PM  
Dark Circle
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The point was to write a song about suffocating your friends...
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www.myspace.com/worldofdarkcircle
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Old 02-17-2007, 02:09 PM  
sleepy jack
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In the darkest period of your life, you were killing people? Get help
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Old 02-17-2007, 02:10 PM  
Dark Circle
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Have you ever heard of metaphore?
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www.myspace.com/worldofdarkcircle
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Old 02-17-2007, 02:12 PM  
sleepy jack
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Dark Circle View Post
Have you ever heard of metaphore?
No, but i've heard of a metaphor.
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Old 02-17-2007, 02:15 PM  
Dark Circle
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Default

My internet connection is slow as hell and I can't allow myself to correct errors.
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I fear the time for it has conquered all my fears....
www.unsignedbandweb.com/music/bands/7789
www.myspace.com/worldofdarkcircle
Now see what we're made of!
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Old 02-17-2007, 02:29 PM  
skindredluver
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Yah I dont really like the whole be my friend or di thing this is thw worst song Ive heard so far
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