Pure, Like Snow Like Gold. (lyrics, Kiss, titles, song)

**sleepy jack** · 02-18-2007, 04:15 AM

This is one of those poems, that I have no idea what I think of it, very good or very bad. Its different from what I usually write, if it seems corny its because its 3am and i'm feeling oddly sentimental.

Pure, Like Snow Like Gold.

"Oh how beautiful it was," my brother told me,
"When he came into this world,
And to know I created this thing, this boy,
This perfect little thing, my son,
Oh I never dreamed i'd be a lucky one."
And the adoration that filled his eyes,
As he sang to that baby and began to cry,
The sky, how blue it will be,
Because of the love that he speaks,
And the promises he will keep.

And when I woke one morning,
In a tangle of sheets, the sun blinding me,
I recalled the verses he sung,
"Such a pretty thing, such a beautiful thing,
You'll be my star tonight, then my morning light,
Just stay with me now, and never forget lifes beauty."

"You're so wonderful" she said to me,
As she kissed me in a room with the city sirens singing outside,
"Oh but you more so" I replied to her,
As I returned her kiss with affection matched,
And how I loved her, with every subtle move,
Her brilliant eyes making the moon less bright,
And we kissed again, and laid down in her bed,
So softly, so sweetly I began to sing to her,
"Such a pretty thing, such a beautiful thing,
You'll be my star tonight, then my morning light,
Just stay with me now, and never forget lifes beauty."

**LesPaul43** · 02-18-2007, 04:37 PM

Its good, whats the deal with all the quotations though?

**sleepy jack** · 02-18-2007, 04:40 PM

Different people talking, though it kind of doesn't look like it because I made it more poetic then what was originally said.

A_Perfect_Sonnet · 02-18-2007, 10:11 PM

I don't like you ripping off song titles from other people's lyrics.

It's unsettling.

**sleepy jack** · 02-18-2007, 10:12 PM

I lack creativity

Thread Tools
Show Printable Version Email this Page
Display Modes
Linear Mode Switch to Hybrid Mode Switch to Threaded Mode

02-18-2007, 04:15 AM
sleepy jack Bone Machine Join Date: Nov 2004 Location: Jesusland Posts: 17,552	Pure, Like Snow Like Gold. This is one of those poems, that I have no idea what I think of it, very good or very bad. Its different from what I usually write, if it seems corny its because its 3am and i'm feeling oddly sentimental. Pure, Like Snow Like Gold. "Oh how beautiful it was," my brother told me, "When he came into this world, And to know I created this thing, this boy, This perfect little thing, my son, Oh I never dreamed i'd be a lucky one." And the adoration that filled his eyes, As he sang to that baby and began to cry, The sky, how blue it will be, Because of the love that he speaks, And the promises he will keep. And when I woke one morning, In a tangle of sheets, the sun blinding me, I recalled the verses he sung, "Such a pretty thing, such a beautiful thing, You'll be my star tonight, then my morning light, Just stay with me now, and never forget lifes beauty." "You're so wonderful" she said to me, As she kissed me in a room with the city sirens singing outside, "Oh but you more so" I replied to her, As I returned her kiss with affection matched, And how I loved her, with every subtle move, Her brilliant eyes making the moon less bright, And we kissed again, and laid down in her bed, So softly, so sweetly I began to sing to her, "Such a pretty thing, such a beautiful thing, You'll be my star tonight, then my morning light, Just stay with me now, and never forget lifes beauty." __________________ I'm not blind, I believe in you.

02-18-2007, 04:37 PM
LesPaul43 Bring da Ruckus Join Date: Sep 2005 Location: British Columbia Posts: 4,011	Its good, whats the deal with all the quotations though? __________________ Life's not a bitch life is a beautiful woman You only call her a bitch because she won't let you get that pussy Maybe she didn't feel y'all shared any similar interests When Life Gives You Lemons, You Paint That Shit Gold

02-18-2007, 04:40 PM
sleepy jack Bone Machine Join Date: Nov 2004 Location: Jesusland Posts: 17,552	Different people talking, though it kind of doesn't look like it because I made it more poetic then what was originally said. __________________ I'm not blind, I believe in you.

02-18-2007, 10:11 PM
A_Perfect_Sonnet Dinosaurus Rex!!! Join Date: Nov 2005 Location: Winchester, VA Posts: 892	I don't like you ripping off song titles from other people's lyrics. It's unsettling.

02-18-2007, 10:12 PM
sleepy jack Bone Machine Join Date: Nov 2004 Location: Jesusland Posts: 17,552	I lack creativity __________________ I'm not blind, I believe in you.