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Old 02-26-2007, 04:29 AM  
Crowe
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Default Another Happy Ending

Another Happy Ending


Save my son, he's sick.
Doctor if you could just please try?
I know it seems useless,
But please don't make me beg.
He's still got a heartbeat and that's what counts.
Don't ask him, he doesn't understand.
Let me explain with "words" now.

My son isn't most eloquent boy,
He does not think like we do.
Instead of speaking clearly,
He mutters through frozen lips,
A jaw bone not fully formed.
But it is beautiful when he smiles.
A brilliant star on darkened dune.

My son isn't the strongest boy,
He cannot lift himself out of bed.
But once we get him to his feet,
And he looks around the room,
Even though his muscles are limp,
He stands strong for a brief moment.
A monument amongst the ruins.

My son isn't the smartest boy,
Perhaps he couldn't add up one and two.
He knows when you're pointing,
And he knows when you're staring.
When he asks why he's different,
His tears are waiting to spill.
Burns like blood in acid veins.

My son isn't the problem though.
He is my pride and joy.
When he laughs I cry.
I'll never leave his side even when,
Times are tough, the well is dry.
He is the perfect boy you see?
The heartbeat of my short life.

Doctor I don't want to see him die.
You're shaking your head,
You say you're sorry and,
That I should just close my eyes.

Unplugged.

My son is "happy" now.



R. Crowe
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Last edited by Crowe : 02-26-2007 at 04:40 AM.
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Old 02-26-2007, 04:38 AM  
sleepy jack
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Just a suggestion for the first verse.

"Let me explain with "words" now."

Seems like to me it would just flow better.

Also maybe on the final line you should trade happy for happier? It just seems like it come across as more powerful to me at least.

Its fantastic though.
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Old 02-26-2007, 04:40 AM  
Crowe
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i agree on all points.
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Old 02-26-2007, 04:41 AM  
sleepy jack
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Wooo I helped!
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Old 02-26-2007, 11:35 PM  
Crowe
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anyone?
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Old 03-01-2007, 01:34 AM  
ZeppelinAir
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i like it, has a nice flow
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Old 03-04-2007, 07:11 AM  
PaperHurricanesAndPlanes
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This piece is good. Get on AIM, you noobzor.
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Quote:
Wolverinewolfweiselpigeon said:

What's with people dying? Shit.

I said: I'm fucking the Prime Minister Of Spain.
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