Post nuclear revolution (quote, Erhu, hands)

Jadix · 03-19-2007, 02:03 PM

The death of lust
how glorious
In the desert of
the angels
Oh where kingdoms once
could scratch the sky
In the old times when
we were blind

Oh-woe---------oh
Oh-woe---------oh
woe-HOE--------oh
Woe-hoe---------woe

And people now meet
eye to eye and
kill for what once the
kids could buy and
there is no crime but
the dead persist
their bodies stain my
conciousness

Oh-woe---------oh
Oh-woe---------oh
woe-HOE--------oh
Woe-hoe---------woe

Woe my god my god
what have you done?
We killed our mother
And our sons
And my hands are red
My mind is spent
For fifty cents
I gave in

PaperHurricanesAndPlanes · 03-19-2007, 08:00 PM

Hey...I critted this on MX. Hey Seeder.

skindredluver · 03-19-2007, 08:30 PM

That sounds cool In a way i guess.....

swim · 03-19-2007, 08:33 PM

I find your explanations more interesting than what's actually meant to be read and pretty tired of the word woe. The first stanza is actually pretty decent but it's overshadowed by the trite and poor wording of the 2nd and 3rd.

enemyat_thesix · 03-19-2007, 11:50 PM

I agree: the first stanza is very strong. Also, don't 'explain' what each stanza 'means'. Leave the reader to interpret it for himself: that's one of the joys of reading prose. Besides, there is no definite meaning, if Foucault has taught us anything.

PaperHurricanesAndPlanes · 03-20-2007, 06:06 AM

You wouldn't happen to listen to Bad Relgion, would you?

Jadix · 03-20-2007, 03:16 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by PaperHurricanesAndPlanes

You wouldn't happen to listen to Bad Relgion, would you?

ive heard them, but i dont listen to them.

Jadix · 03-25-2007, 06:31 PM

bump for changes made

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03-19-2007, 02:03 PM
Jadix infamous nimbus Join Date: Mar 2006 Posts: 144	Post nuclear revolution The death of lust how glorious In the desert of the angels Oh where kingdoms once could scratch the sky In the old times when we were blind Oh-woe---------oh Oh-woe---------oh woe-HOE--------oh Woe-hoe---------woe And people now meet eye to eye and kill for what once the kids could buy and there is no crime but the dead persist their bodies stain my conciousness Oh-woe---------oh Oh-woe---------oh woe-HOE--------oh Woe-hoe---------woe Woe my god my god what have you done? We killed our mother And our sons And my hands are red My mind is spent For fifty cents I gave in Last edited by Jadix : 03-25-2007 at 06:31 PM.

03-19-2007, 08:30 PM
skindredluver Im Just As Sweet!!!:) Join Date: Nov 2006 Location: america Posts: 584	That sounds cool In a way i guess..... __________________ Let them live in the stillness and know the flame. They will loose all and give all.. Boys are like lava lamps: fun to look at but not so bright Coffee, chocolate and men, some things are just better rich

03-19-2007, 08:33 PM
swim I'm still your f4g Join Date: Apr 2006 Location: North Carolina Posts: 4,551	I find your explanations more interesting than what's actually meant to be read and pretty tired of the word woe. The first stanza is actually pretty decent but it's overshadowed by the trite and poor wording of the 2nd and 3rd. __________________ Whatever it is you think you are, you're not a good friend, unique, well read, good looking or smart. Now you know.

03-25-2007, 06:31 PM
Jadix infamous nimbus Join Date: Mar 2006 Posts: 144	bump for changes made