sleepy jack

i like neutral milk hotel, and the title sucks.

summer is dead.

I'm remembering the days we had wings
Growing from our backs, the sunlight shining
And taking away the shadows between the notches
Of our spines, and when the clouds came
The sun hid its face, I asked you to promise me
You wouldn't suffer the same fate, you said,
"Its beautiful this life we lead but everything comes to pass.
And such simple beauty as childhood love will always last.
But you're going to have to learn to stand on your own,
But promise me to love life to its most."

I'm not telling you all this to imply were the never suffering kind
But we are a tape thats impossible to rewind,
Or maybe just little kids draped in sheets pretending to be
Ghosts still tripping out of the bed we left behind.

And beside an olympian well crafted with a perfect design,
I asked you if we were ever more then steam
To become clouds and block the suns erasing face,
But as I reached to brush your cheek with stuttering hands
You turned into nothing more substantial then a stream,
And my eyes opened and I wondered where you were
Staring aimlessly into the skys tormenting beauty for years
But never discovering anymore.

And some things really can't be described like the
Love that never tends to die between best friends
That never got to grow old in life, but my mouths
Open wide and i'm still too scared to say goodbye,
To the child I left behind, remembering days
In my room crying over a long distance phone call,
A year has passed but i'm still struggling to crawl.

__________________
I dyed my hair in a motel void met the coroner at the Dreamgate Frontier,
He took my hand said I'll help you boy if you really want to disappear.

zak

Amazing. The very last line was perfect.

The Dave

I like it, 3rd stanza ftw.

__________________
My collection,winkwinkcoughcough

Alo

beautiful, there are some type-o's though...

I love the last sentence!

__________________

I rocked my shoelaces untied

sleepy jack

Bump yo.

__________________
I dyed my hair in a motel void met the coroner at the Dreamgate Frontier,
He took my hand said I'll help you boy if you really want to disappear.

enemyat_thesix

very good.

the rest, meh. stop writing about relationships.

__________________
www.myspace.com/arqon
www.myspace.com/xlaststrawx

sleepy jack

Its not about a relationship, I guess it could be interpreted that way but I was more talking about the dying between a childhood friendship. "And such simple beauty as childhood love will always last.", "Or maybe just little kids draped in sheets pretending to be ghosts still tripping out of the bed we left behind." "like the love that never tends to die between best friends that never got to grow old in life," etc.

__________________
I dyed my hair in a motel void met the coroner at the Dreamgate Frontier,
He took my hand said I'll help you boy if you really want to disappear.

enemyat_thesix

that does concern a relationship.

__________________
www.myspace.com/arqon
www.myspace.com/xlaststrawx

Ornette

Very good. I noticed the nod to Neutral Milk Hotel in the first stanza, but that's fine. Only one thing:

Did you mean "passed," or is there a reason for the use of "past"?

sleepy jack

I meant passed, typo Thank you.

__________________
I dyed my hair in a motel void met the coroner at the Dreamgate Frontier,
He took my hand said I'll help you boy if you really want to disappear.