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10-17-2007, 07:59 PM
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Mais Je Reve
Join Date: Mar 2005
Location: The birthplace of techno!
Posts: 2,017
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How Do You Do?
"How Do You Do?" How do you do? Are you aware of our connection? How long would it take for your body To intimate lack of emotion (if need be)? Do your thoughts travel in the night? Are your eyes their possessions? How deep do your sockets go? In the morning-- how long would it take? During the day are you really here? Hear, do you, really-- Because I do. But I have not, before. When we have distanced after nightfall And I know that you remain But there are doubts from time to time Like infection, bacteria. Are we here? Yes? Lovely, We shall leave-- Together, In the morning -Jake V.
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Last edited by Trauma : 10-17-2007 at 08:30 PM. |
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11-07-2007, 05:39 AM
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Groupie
Join Date: Nov 2007
Location: the bible belt = (
Posts: 9
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are these lyrics or is this a poem?
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11-07-2007, 02:08 PM
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Bancount: 3
Join Date: Oct 2006
Location: Boston
Posts: 879
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i'd suggest removing "infection, bacteria". those two words do not fit the tone and carry connotations you do not want associated with the rest of the poem
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11-07-2007, 09:46 PM
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Mais Je Reve
Join Date: Mar 2005
Location: The birthplace of techno!
Posts: 2,017
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Well thank you for the suggestion, and, this happens to be a poem.
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