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12-07-2007, 01:11 AM
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Account Disabled
Join Date: Dec 2007
Posts: 14
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Tear-stained Eyes
You sitting there in their pain
Tearing at your veins Breaking skin on your cold wrist Clenching your blood-stained fist Pain is flowing in your nerves But you know its' what you deserve Fills the air with writhing cries Staring through your tear-stained eyes. Last edited by ma/chem/rom : 12-07-2007 at 01:19 AM. |
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12-07-2007, 01:18 AM
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Account Disabled
Join Date: Dec 2007
Posts: 14
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... i meant 2 put this in EMO dammit... or wateva
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12-07-2007, 10:42 AM
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dance music
Join Date: Nov 2004
Posts: 17,772
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It doesn't even belong in the emo forum. It belongs in the songwriting forum and this is so cliche I don't see any further point in commenting on it.
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I dyed my hair in a motel void met the coroner at the Dreamgate Frontier, He took my hand said I'll help you boy if you really want to disappear. |
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12-07-2007, 02:28 PM
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Music Rapist
Join Date: Nov 2007
Location: Somewhere in the U.S
Posts: 406
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uhm, i suggest starting over...
this is honestly so bad i want to cry
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A soul in tension thats learning to fly Condition grounded but determined to try Cant keep my eyes from the circling skies Tongue-tied and twisted just an earth-bound misfit Quote:
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12-07-2007, 03:50 PM
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Music Addict
Join Date: Dec 2007
Location: Ireland
Posts: 164
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Conveniently this songs purpose seems to be to make people want to cry.
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There’s something about seeing this city at night
Where we can say what we want and do what we like. These streets are empty but we don't feel alone, We can run in the dark and sleep on the roads. |
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12-07-2007, 05:56 PM
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Ban The Unfan Now
Join Date: Mar 2007
Posts: 1,774
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Quote:
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12-07-2007, 08:49 PM
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Account Disabled
Join Date: Dec 2007
Location: new hampshire
Posts: 184
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my eyes hurt
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12-08-2007, 03:23 PM
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Negative Creep
Join Date: Jul 2006
Location: Georgia
Posts: 648
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Blatant flaming is becoming more than tolerable on this forum, it seems. However, I agree whole heartedly. The nursery rhyming completely throws out any good qualities of this work, (which there were none either way), and it's entirely too emo.
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She said if time was in a bottle High up on her shelf She would knock it over And make the world stand still If faith was in her left hand And love was in her right She'd put them both together And raise them to the sky  |
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12-08-2007, 03:51 PM
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Avin' It!
Join Date: May 2005
Location: THE PEOPLES ЯEPUBLIK ФF MAИCUИIA
Posts: 5,725
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Quote:
Especially from other writers. Flaming is fine, if it's done with humour and a bit of advice. It was terrible though. :/ Room for improvement?
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UNITED > KIDS > WIFE
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12-08-2007, 07:30 PM
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Ban The Unfan Now
Join Date: Mar 2007
Posts: 1,774
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Quote:
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