(my date with) thorazine (lyrics, ballad, Creed, tune, song)

acenoface · 12-13-2007, 11:55 AM

nope, that's one word. mosaic rhymes are when you rhyme a long word with more than one short one:

thorazine
you're the queen

see how all three syllables match?

also, magazine doesn't rhyme with thorazine. they are identical in the last syllable. rhymes need to start with different consonants. zine/mean

Dizzys in the wolf · 12-13-2007, 12:02 PM

I know what a rhyme is. I've never even heard the world Thorazine before ^^ so I don't think I did too badly.

There is nothing wrong with stepping outside the little song writing box every now and again, This might work better if you cut it down, a lot. To maybe like 4 lines? Its too long to have any impact, it just comes accross kinda lazy and unexciting. have a look at my new one if you have a minute.

TheCaster · 12-13-2007, 01:08 PM

haha your trying to turn songwriting into a science.... let it flow.. dont sit there and TRY to make lyrics..... when you do that it sucks.. i think these lessons you suggested for me were like a nazi camp...

Ace · 12-14-2007, 04:47 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Dizzys in the wolf

it actually works scarily well with "Pop goes the weasel".

Buuuurrrrrrn

acenoface · 12-14-2007, 09:12 AM

you might not like it, but undisciplined lyric writing usually results in unsingable lyrics

**Urban Hatemonger** · 12-14-2007, 09:26 AM

I wasn't aware lyrics HAD to be sung.

under · 12-14-2007, 09:39 AM

lyrics DONT need to be sung. they just need to be so well written that if people read them they will say "hey, i can sing this" but you dont HAVE to sing them...lol.

Dizzys in the wolf · 12-14-2007, 01:25 PM

I think some of the best songs are the ones where you can read the lyrics on the page and have no idea how the hell anyone could sing it and make it sound good but they do.

acenoface · 12-14-2007, 04:07 PM

lyrics are written for the ears, poetry is written for the eyes, and both have rules

Kevorkian Logic · 12-14-2007, 04:55 PM

I hate it when people make up for crappy lyrics by saying "it's a song." It's a cop out.

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12-13-2007, 11:55 AM
acenoface Groupie Join Date: Dec 2007 Location: East Lansing, MI Posts: 18	nope, that's one word. mosaic rhymes are when you rhyme a long word with more than one short one: thorazine you're the queen see how all three syllables match? also, magazine doesn't rhyme with thorazine. they are identical in the last syllable. rhymes need to start with different consonants. zine/mean __________________

12-13-2007, 12:02 PM
Dizzys in the wolf Music Addict Join Date: Dec 2007 Location: Ireland Posts: 164	I know what a rhyme is. I've never even heard the world Thorazine before ^^ so I don't think I did too badly. There is nothing wrong with stepping outside the little song writing box every now and again, This might work better if you cut it down, a lot. To maybe like 4 lines? Its too long to have any impact, it just comes accross kinda lazy and unexciting. have a look at my new one if you have a minute. __________________ There’s something about seeing this city at night Where we can say what we want and do what we like. These streets are empty but we don't feel alone, We can run in the dark and sleep on the roads.

12-14-2007, 09:12 AM
acenoface Groupie Join Date: Dec 2007 Location: East Lansing, MI Posts: 18	you might not like it, but undisciplined lyric writing usually results in unsingable lyrics

12-14-2007, 09:39 AM
under Forget Me Not Join Date: Mar 2006 Posts: 1,039	lyrics DONT need to be sung. they just need to be so well written that if people read them they will say "hey, i can sing this" but you dont HAVE to sing them...lol.

12-14-2007, 01:25 PM
Dizzys in the wolf Music Addict Join Date: Dec 2007 Location: Ireland Posts: 164	I think some of the best songs are the ones where you can read the lyrics on the page and have no idea how the hell anyone could sing it and make it sound good but they do. __________________ There’s something about seeing this city at night Where we can say what we want and do what we like. These streets are empty but we don't feel alone, We can run in the dark and sleep on the roads.

12-14-2007, 04:07 PM
acenoface Groupie Join Date: Dec 2007 Location: East Lansing, MI Posts: 18	lyrics are written for the ears, poetry is written for the eyes, and both have rules

12-14-2007, 04:55 PM
Kevorkian Logic Ya Wanna Trip? Join Date: Jan 2007 Posts: 949	I hate it when people make up for crappy lyrics by saying "it's a song." It's a cop out. __________________ She was laughing like crazy at the trouble I'm in Her light eyes were dancing she is insane Schizophrenia is taking me home