Last Man Standing (lyric, title, song, Hang)

Dizzys in the wolf · 12-13-2007, 12:18 PM

Oh wont you grow up? You know its only sex,
And if you don't change soon God knows what will happen next.
Excuse me if I cling to you for everything,
But seeing how you've changed I don't want to begin

To step up to what you're demanding,
It’s easy to fall when you're the last man standing.

Thank God for MTV when you found your feet,
In the same old for the first time, you're the hand that feeds.
So help yourself to a handful of promise,
The only promise to keep is to mind your own business

And step up to what it’s demanding,
I can't hold you up, I'm the last man standing.

acenoface · 12-13-2007, 01:34 PM

This is really good! Great use of near rhymes, definitely cliche free. The lyric packs an emotional punch, for sure.

Technical criticism:

promise and business are a weak rhyme. If you need a perfect rhyme there, you'll need something with the stress on the first syllable like

business / witness

promise / conscious

Dizzys in the wolf · 12-13-2007, 01:38 PM

Thanks =) And you can't really say that it is cliche free considering the title itself is cliche, but i still liked it anyway.

I know that they're kinda weak, but the song itself begins to come lose towards the chorus and I just find it flows better with it.

I think you are bothered too easily by rhymes lol.

acenoface · 12-13-2007, 04:28 PM

You're right, my psychoanalyst says I'm anal retentive

Dizzys in the wolf · 12-14-2007, 02:40 PM

Awww ^_^ I don't know what that means. But anal + Smilie face, how bad could it be.

sleepy jack · 12-14-2007, 08:21 PM

I like it, I was surprised to find that sex works pretty well in here usually I find it to be so blunt and obnoxious.

Dizzys in the wolf · 12-15-2007, 10:21 AM

Thanks =) I always wanted to use it in a song somewhere.. That and the word "Mate" but i haven't found a good use for it yet.

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12-13-2007, 12:18 PM
Dizzys in the wolf Music Addict Join Date: Dec 2007 Location: Ireland Posts: 164	Last Man Standing Oh wont you grow up? You know its only sex, And if you don't change soon God knows what will happen next. Excuse me if I cling to you for everything, But seeing how you've changed I don't want to begin To step up to what you're demanding, It’s easy to fall when you're the last man standing. Thank God for MTV when you found your feet, In the same old for the first time, you're the hand that feeds. So help yourself to a handful of promise, The only promise to keep is to mind your own business And step up to what it’s demanding, I can't hold you up, I'm the last man standing. __________________ There’s something about seeing this city at night Where we can say what we want and do what we like. These streets are empty but we don't feel alone, We can run in the dark and sleep on the roads.

12-13-2007, 01:34 PM
acenoface Groupie Join Date: Dec 2007 Location: East Lansing, MI Posts: 18	This is really good! Great use of near rhymes, definitely cliche free. The lyric packs an emotional punch, for sure. Technical criticism: promise and business are a weak rhyme. If you need a perfect rhyme there, you'll need something with the stress on the first syllable like business / witness promise / conscious __________________

12-13-2007, 01:38 PM
Dizzys in the wolf Music Addict Join Date: Dec 2007 Location: Ireland Posts: 164	Thanks =) And you can't really say that it is cliche free considering the title itself is cliche, but i still liked it anyway. I know that they're kinda weak, but the song itself begins to come lose towards the chorus and I just find it flows better with it. I think you are bothered too easily by rhymes lol. __________________ There’s something about seeing this city at night Where we can say what we want and do what we like. These streets are empty but we don't feel alone, We can run in the dark and sleep on the roads.

12-13-2007, 04:28 PM
acenoface Groupie Join Date: Dec 2007 Location: East Lansing, MI Posts: 18	You're right, my psychoanalyst says I'm anal retentive __________________

12-14-2007, 02:40 PM
Dizzys in the wolf Music Addict Join Date: Dec 2007 Location: Ireland Posts: 164	Awww ^_^ I don't know what that means. But anal + Smilie face, how bad could it be. __________________ There’s something about seeing this city at night Where we can say what we want and do what we like. These streets are empty but we don't feel alone, We can run in the dark and sleep on the roads.

12-14-2007, 08:21 PM
sleepy jack dance music Join Date: Nov 2004 Posts: 17,772	I like it, I was surprised to find that sex works pretty well in here usually I find it to be so blunt and obnoxious. __________________ I dyed my hair in a motel void met the coroner at the Dreamgate Frontier, He took my hand said I'll help you boy if you really want to disappear.

12-15-2007, 10:21 AM
Dizzys in the wolf Music Addict Join Date: Dec 2007 Location: Ireland Posts: 164	Thanks =) I always wanted to use it in a song somewhere.. That and the word "Mate" but i haven't found a good use for it yet. __________________ There’s something about seeing this city at night Where we can say what we want and do what we like. These streets are empty but we don't feel alone, We can run in the dark and sleep on the roads.