Someone I Love Will Die (lyric, dance, songs, 2007)

**sleepy jack** · 02-15-2008, 10:43 PM

I was happy for a day in 2007 because I was in love with a girl
Who thought the world revolved around her,
Because of some famous painter relations and her crooked tooth smile,
She had a bad sense of style and thought that all guys loved her chest,
But she didn't know the best sex she'd never had
Was with a virgin writer who fell in love with her silly laughs and shifty eyes,
And I'm not too proud to say I think I'm more akin to Wilde
Than the quiet reflective type but when I walk these streets
Listening to the saddest songs I pretend I'm just a shy boy having a good time.

And after she left me I dreamt of walking on top of her dorm,
Looking down on her and spitting into her hair,
It's crude I know but driving these streets all night,
With a bottle of wine and calling friends drunk
Isn't how I imagined things would be,
Reading a book about a boy who's just like me,
Charlie never understood love either he was much too nervous
But on the inside he was the opposite, a teenage eccentric,
And always thinking, his mind running like a clock,
He was too scared to dance at school but content to just sit and watch,
The perk of being a wallflower is you always know just what to say,
To make the person you love leave you and go away.

She use to say I was two-faced but not in a bad way,
I was just more sincere around her
Even though I was always running away,
And she could never catch me but that wasn't my fault,
Honestly I was just afraid of you, with teeth in your pants,
And a lust for anything but romance,
I spent my weekdays writing you poetry in a notebook
Decorated with pictures of Morrissey,
And during the weekends I'd make you mix tapes
With obscure love songs.

Lizzie · 02-15-2008, 11:00 PM

That's probably one of the best poems I've read on here. I really loved the first two paragraphs, but the the third seemed to end rather abrubtly. Well, not really abrubtly per say, but it just didn't seem like the end of the poem. But besides that, I'll just say that it was wonderful, and I really liked it

Dizzys in the wolf · 02-16-2008, 03:58 AM

This was a cool lyric, you can see your Morrissey influence shining through, but you should try and find a way to say what you have to say with less words, if you keep your lines shorter your message would come accross much stronger.

lucylamppost · 02-16-2008, 11:06 PM

wow great job!

it could be mistaken for something pete wentz wrote!

*thumbs up*

**sleepy jack** · 02-16-2008, 11:13 PM

Uh how

Crowe · 02-21-2008, 01:51 PM

The big problem I had with this - and it may be just me - but I don't feel like it had any real ending at all. It seemed to stop mid thought, mid story, mid feeling...

Also, did you imply that you were more into men than women with the Wilde line? Was that a character trait or a personal trait? If so, I had no idea, and that's quite a way to come out...

**sleepy jack** · 02-21-2008, 03:55 PM

It was more his sex-crazed nature than his sexual preference.

Crowe · 02-21-2008, 06:01 PM

Aha, maybe - Juuussst maybe, find another popular character with a lusty appetite so that same mistake can be avoided? Or it might just be inconsequential to you... what about the ending man?

**sleepy jack** · 02-21-2008, 06:01 PM

I have no idea, I can feel what you're staying I don't know where to go with it though. I also want to cut this down and figure out whats fall out boyish about it and get rid of that.

pheurton · 02-25-2008, 04:08 PM

I'd just keep the first two paragraphs

Quote:

Originally Posted by Crowe

Also, did you imply that you were more into men than women with the Wilde line?

lololol

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02-15-2008, 10:43 PM
sleepy jack Bone Machine Join Date: Nov 2004 Location: Jesusland Posts: 17,244	Someone I Love Will Die I was happy for a day in 2007 because I was in love with a girl Who thought the world revolved around her, Because of some famous painter relations and her crooked tooth smile, She had a bad sense of style and thought that all guys loved her chest, But she didn't know the best sex she'd never had Was with a virgin writer who fell in love with her silly laughs and shifty eyes, And I'm not too proud to say I think I'm more akin to Wilde Than the quiet reflective type but when I walk these streets Listening to the saddest songs I pretend I'm just a shy boy having a good time. And after she left me I dreamt of walking on top of her dorm, Looking down on her and spitting into her hair, It's crude I know but driving these streets all night, With a bottle of wine and calling friends drunk Isn't how I imagined things would be, Reading a book about a boy who's just like me, Charlie never understood love either he was much too nervous But on the inside he was the opposite, a teenage eccentric, And always thinking, his mind running like a clock, He was too scared to dance at school but content to just sit and watch, The perk of being a wallflower is you always know just what to say, To make the person you love leave you and go away. She use to say I was two-faced but not in a bad way, I was just more sincere around her Even though I was always running away, And she could never catch me but that wasn't my fault, Honestly I was just afraid of you, with teeth in your pants, And a lust for anything but romance, I spent my weekdays writing you poetry in a notebook Decorated with pictures of Morrissey, And during the weekends I'd make you mix tapes With obscure love songs. __________________ You're so evil and I'm so good, I'll make it up to you someday.

02-15-2008, 11:00 PM
Lizzie Diskobox Join Date: Jan 2008 Posts: 675	That's probably one of the best poems I've read on here. I really loved the first two paragraphs, but the the third seemed to end rather abrubtly. Well, not really abrubtly per say, but it just didn't seem like the end of the poem. But besides that, I'll just say that it was wonderful, and I really liked it __________________ white and black, are you looking for the sun boy? the sun doesn't shine down here, no, not in the shadow

02-16-2008, 03:58 AM
Dizzys in the wolf Music Addict Join Date: Dec 2007 Location: Ireland Posts: 164	This was a cool lyric, you can see your Morrissey influence shining through, but you should try and find a way to say what you have to say with less words, if you keep your lines shorter your message would come accross much stronger. __________________ There’s something about seeing this city at night Where we can say what we want and do what we like. These streets are empty but we don't feel alone, We can run in the dark and sleep on the roads.

02-16-2008, 11:06 PM
lucylamppost I'm a figure of forgotten Join Date: Dec 2007 Location: canada Posts: 291	wow great job! it could be mistaken for something pete wentz wrote! thumbs up __________________

02-16-2008, 11:13 PM
sleepy jack Bone Machine Join Date: Nov 2004 Location: Jesusland Posts: 17,244	Uh how __________________ You're so evil and I'm so good, I'll make it up to you someday.

02-21-2008, 01:51 PM
Crowe Music Addict Join Date: Dec 2005 Location: Chicago/St. Louie Posts: 690	The big problem I had with this - and it may be just me - but I don't feel like it had any real ending at all. It seemed to stop mid thought, mid story, mid feeling... Also, did you imply that you were more into men than women with the Wilde line? Was that a character trait or a personal trait? If so, I had no idea, and that's quite a way to come out... __________________ My silly experimental band: www.myspace.com/boyfromthestarsmusic

02-21-2008, 03:55 PM
sleepy jack Bone Machine Join Date: Nov 2004 Location: Jesusland Posts: 17,244	It was more his sex-crazed nature than his sexual preference. __________________ You're so evil and I'm so good, I'll make it up to you someday.

02-21-2008, 06:01 PM
Crowe Music Addict Join Date: Dec 2005 Location: Chicago/St. Louie Posts: 690	Aha, maybe - Juuussst maybe, find another popular character with a lusty appetite so that same mistake can be avoided? Or it might just be inconsequential to you... what about the ending man? __________________ My silly experimental band: www.myspace.com/boyfromthestarsmusic