Go Back   Music Banter > Artists Corner > Song Writing, Lyrics and Poetry
Register Blogging Search Today's Posts Mark Forums Read
Welcome to Music Banter Forum! Make sure to register - it's free and very quick! You have to register before you can post and participate in our discussions with over 70,000 other registered members. After you create your free account, you will be able to customize many options, you will have the full access to over 1,100,000 posts.

Thread Tools Display Modes
Old 07-05-2013, 08:28 PM   #1 (permalink)
Join Date: Jul 2013
Posts: 1
Default Runaway-I appreciate ALL feedback!

I have this song on youtube and ive gotten all positive feedback.
Im curious as to what people think of solely the lyrics


A grown woman
just a child without innocence
wants to be a kid again
but she lacks the ignorance damn
she hates this world it s a ****ed up world we live in
we all get tired wonder if lifes worth living
were too young for all these problems we have babies makin babies
everybodys breaking hearts with the victims creating victims
its sickenin i know
but im caught up in it too
in your teary eyes i see the **** the world has put you thru
ive been thru all the games i swear i caught a disease
now theres a monster deep inside me that demands to be pleased
I, try to stop but baby i dont control it so i break another heart
and it seems pleased for the moment
i dont feel my emotions so i feed of yours
i need a beautiful girl to come and lift this curse, help me
swim good now im fighting the tide
when you feel no emotions it makes them easy to hide
i know there still somewhere there somewhere deep inside me
this monster needs fresh hearts but baby dont provide me

(just the first verse, i finished the whole song.)
let me know what you think, if you wanna hear how it actually flows
check it out on my channel
search shallwecuddle-runaway
charliebrizown is offline   Reply With Quote
Old 07-05-2013, 08:51 PM   #2 (permalink)
dank memer
YorkeDaddy's Avatar
Join Date: Aug 2011
Location: Pangaea
Posts: 2,210

I dig the song man. I found it on Youtube and there's some really creative rhymes in there. I think your rapping could use a little work, but the writing itself is solid here.
YorkeDaddy is online now   Reply With Quote
Old 07-05-2013, 09:27 PM   #3 (permalink)
Account Disabled
Join Date: Dec 2009
Location: The Eyrie, Vale of Arryn, Westeros
Posts: 3,365

It's a really interesting insight into your relationship with a girl, but it sounds like you are scared of hurting her
Sansa Stark is offline   Reply With Quote
Old 07-07-2013, 12:19 PM   #4 (permalink)
Join Date: Jul 2013
Posts: 10

What's the youtube link?
Weaver Wynd is offline   Reply With Quote

Thread Tools
Display Modes

Similar Threads

2003-2015 Advameg, Inc.

SEO by vBSEO 3.5.2 ©2010, Crawlability, Inc.