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Old 07-05-2013, 07:28 PM   #1 (permalink)
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Default Runaway-I appreciate ALL feedback!

I have this song on youtube and ive gotten all positive feedback.
Im curious as to what people think of solely the lyrics

Runaway

A grown woman
just a child without innocence
wants to be a kid again
but she lacks the ignorance damn
she hates this world it s a ****ed up world we live in
we all get tired wonder if lifes worth living
were too young for all these problems we have babies makin babies
everybodys breaking hearts with the victims creating victims
its sickenin i know
but im caught up in it too
in your teary eyes i see the **** the world has put you thru
ive been thru all the games i swear i caught a disease
now theres a monster deep inside me that demands to be pleased
I, try to stop but baby i dont control it so i break another heart
and it seems pleased for the moment
i dont feel my emotions so i feed of yours
i need a beautiful girl to come and lift this curse, help me
swim good now im fighting the tide
when you feel no emotions it makes them easy to hide
i know there still somewhere there somewhere deep inside me
this monster needs fresh hearts but baby dont provide me
runaway

(just the first verse, i finished the whole song.)
let me know what you think, if you wanna hear how it actually flows
check it out on my channel
search shallwecuddle-runaway
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Old 07-05-2013, 07:51 PM   #2 (permalink)
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I dig the song man. I found it on Youtube and there's some really creative rhymes in there. I think your rapping could use a little work, but the writing itself is solid here.
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Old 07-05-2013, 08:27 PM   #3 (permalink)
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It's a really interesting insight into your relationship with a girl, but it sounds like you are scared of hurting her
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Old 07-07-2013, 11:19 AM   #4 (permalink)
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What's the youtube link?
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