|
|||||||
| Register | Blogging | Search | Today's Posts | Mark Forums Read |
Welcome to Music Banter Forum! Make sure to register - it's free and very quick! You have to register before you can post and participate in our discussions with over 17,000 other registered members. After you create your free account, you will be able to customize many options, you will have the full access to over 300,000 posts. |
|
|
Thread Tools | Display Modes |
06-11-2005, 09:33 PM
|
||
|
Notice you... Noticin' me
Join Date: Mar 2005
Location: D-town
Posts: 2,026
 |
Temptress
Temptress
Red lips Two reasons to die Top and bottom Angel and demon They hook my sweet bouquet while it lulls them Tongue to tongue More like claw to flower Like the eagle, you snatch my affection Protect, sweet darling bee You stung me in the eyes Prowl, ferocious old lion You clawed my smile with your talons Nameless beast, show yourself Stop the parody You are no human Cloaked wolf, you seek to wound me I want to give you the chance, again I suppose my ignorance prevails It gives rise to this sweet bliss I could frolic through meadows of denial Kiss you like I did one thousand times before Maim me like you did one million times before Hurt can be divided into eras Pain can only be synonymous with existence Your gates taste of bitterness They close and open as they wish God must control those two beasts Angel and demon; my weaknesses Why does red prevail when the angel must be white? You put no lipstick on this morning, dear Why is disdain not pale color? Your lips are advertising my blood -Jake 6/11/05
__________________
Quote:
|
|
|
|
|
06-11-2005, 10:02 PM
|
|
|
contrast&compare.
Join Date: Jan 2005
Posts: 689
|
i think it's quite good. i think it's really like, different than other lyrics posted here. i like it.
__________________
Jesus Christ, I'm alone again, so what did you do those three days you were dead?
|
|
|
|
|
06-12-2005, 11:58 AM
|
|
|
Music Addict
Join Date: Feb 2004
Location: JMU
Posts: 3,151
 |
I'm guessing this has refences to the whore of Babylon?
yeah. i like it. the meter needs cleaning up but other than that very nice. |
|
|
|
|
06-12-2005, 12:52 PM
|
||
|
Notice you... Noticin' me
Join Date: Mar 2005
Location: D-town
Posts: 2,026
|
^
No lol, no references of any sort. It was free verse, I didn't think of rhyme scheme or anything. I wrote it in about 10 minutes, the only thing I thought about was four lines per stanza.
__________________
Quote:
|
|
|
|
|
|
06-13-2005, 01:27 AM
|
||
|
Bright F*cking Red
Join Date: Jan 2005
Location: San Diego
Posts: 2,180
|
really good. i like it a lot. amazing for only taking you ten minutes.
__________________
How'd I end up here to begin with? I don't know. Why do I start what I can't finish? Oh please, don't barrage me with questions to all those ugly answers. My ego's like my stomach- it keeps shitting what I feed it. But maybe I don't want to finish anything anymore.. maybe I can wait in bed 'til she comes home. and whispers.... Quote:
|
|
|
|
|
Linear Mode
