|12-29-2013, 06:31 AM||#1 (permalink)|
Join Date: Dec 2013
My first rap verse.
Please don't just say "it's good" or "it's bad", please give me some tips to work on ! I'd really appreciate it !
There's something that I have to say,
I'm not the same happy person everyday
Every day that I grow older,
My mind slowly becomes colder
I don't know why , can't hold it,
I want to escape, throw it
Away in the air, fly with it
But I can't , I'm falling off this cliff it
Is impossible to get back up,
I'm going down while all I want to do is step up,
I wish I could, wish I had the ability
But I don't , it's not reality,
Being able to live life happily
Is impossible, I'm getting pulled down, gravity
What are you doing , I'm falling from the top,
Deeper down the cliff everyday, it won't stop
Looking at my rearview , going back in time,
9 years old, back in my prime,
I thought the whole world was mine,
But it wasn't , my mother was crying,
Wanted to help , but I was to shy and,
she went on with the yelp, now I'm singing this rhyme,
But back then I was different,
I couldn't say the right words I was illiterate,
I wanted to show her I was considerate,
But in my mind there was a lil' debate,
Going on, what should I say,
What does she need to hear to throw her sadness away,
In the end, there was nothing at all,
Just my teared eyes, the help was small,
My brother shouldve been able to he was double my age ,
But he's why mom was in this stage,
He's the reason mom had this amount of rage
Mom had to suffer being in this cage,
Shes been there for years, every bad thing brother did moved her,
Hitting the wall she feared, she was scared of every single footstep,
The cage was dark red and explosive,
It was full of toxic, acid and corrosive,
She got close to the wall, filled with fear,
That's when she found out my brother was doing weed,
She crashed into the wall with infinite speed,
The limits off the cage is what she had exceed,
So it exploded, her voice made unthinkable sound,
Finally did the right thing and kicked her own son out of the house
She thought she would be happier mto live without,
But she wasn't , she was still crying on the ground,
Leaving her addicted son outside, she wasn't proud,
That's what my entire childhood was about,
That's the **** I had to observe,
Standing in the corner it was getting on my nerves.
I didn't care, for me it was common sense,
To hear them fighting and crying instensively at the expense
Of me growing up, but I still did,
I became a young man , stopped being a kid
I thank my brother for only one little thing,
He showed me the wrong, now I live like martin luther king
|12-29-2013, 05:02 PM||#2 (permalink)|
Join Date: Dec 2013
It's good - I'd be interested to hear you perform it, because I think the way you use emphasis can add a lot to a song.
Your brother got thrown out just for smoking weed though? Seems a bit harsh. Sure, it's not a particularly pleasant habit, but then neither is any form of smoking.
|01-23-2014, 01:36 PM||#3 (permalink)|
Join Date: Jan 2014
My flow cold/i spit snow/and cry snowflakes/in freestyle battles i drop bars/and make the crowd shake/i wanna make it to the top/but its kinda hard/performing at bars/and auditioning for superstars/but i wont give up/i fall get back up/and tell the devil/one fall aint enough for us/in god i trust/so ima keep on rappin/till im promoted/from private to captain
|01-23-2014, 02:43 PM||#4 (permalink)|
Registered Jimmy Rustler
Join Date: Sep 2007
Definitely some grammatical errors here.
*Best chance of losing virginity is in prison crew*
*Always Checks Credentials Crew*
*nba > nfl crew*
*Shave one of my legs to pretend its a girl in my bed crew*
*Flakes on Dates to go Hoop crew*
Power: Yamaha Rx-v363 (5.1,100w/ch)
Speakers:2 Infinity R4 (175w), RCA HTS-5000 Sub (100w)
Headphones: Sony MDR-XB500 (40mm, 1.5w)
|01-23-2014, 03:08 PM||#5 (permalink)|
got priv? nah i got glory
Join Date: Jun 2013
Bro u were in ur prime at 9 yrs old......
|02-10-2014, 03:21 PM||#8 (permalink)|
Join Date: Jan 2012
Location: Shakopee, Minnesota
That is what I call good and awesome music right there.
The problem with Franco Pepe Kalle is that he is a unpredictable character. There is surprising info about this man. You think he only likes Franco and Pepe Kalle but when you find out that he hears other artists, you are shock.
Girls are the sexy thing that God created.
Important to notice FPK.