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Old 03-31-2014, 09:58 PM   #1 (permalink)
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Default April Opened Her Eyes To The Mornig Sun Rise

APRIL EYES

By Ronald H. Brady


When April opened her eyes

to the morning sun rise

June was ready in the wings,

but had to wait on May

to have her day

in the central song of spring.



The songs of the birds

in verse without words

filled the sky of blue.

And in the top of the trees

the wind sang melodies

just as singers do.



The sun long ago

had melted the snow

in exuberant anticipation,

of April, May and June

a trio in tune

with natures' celebration.



To help us forget

the long winter nights

and struggles against the cold

to replace them all

with summer star lights

and sun rises of yellow and gold.
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Old 04-01-2014, 09:25 PM   #2 (permalink)
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That is a lovely poem in honor of the feeling of spring.

I especially like the second stanza, "The songs of the birds / in verse without words / filled the sky of blue. / And in the top of the trees / the wind sang melodies / just as singers do," and the warmth of the lines, "The sun long ago / had melted the snow / in exuberant anticipation [...]."

My one major recommendation concerns the last stanza. Its meaning is beautiful. However, since the earlier three stanzas follow a pleasing rhyme scheme of aabccb, I expected the last stanza to follow it also. Now, maybe this change was intentional, representing that spring creates something new (!), but breaking from the previous rhyme scheme pattern was a little surprising to me, making me think more about the poem's structure than its meaning.

Also, I believe that "sun rise" and "sun rises" should be "sunrise" and "sunrises," respectively.

I enjoyed the airy, happy mood of your melodic rap. Thanks for sharing!
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Old 04-02-2014, 10:42 PM   #3 (permalink)
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Thanks very much for your constructive and thoughtful comments. I believe that in America there is still room for positive verse. I agree with you about the change in the rhyming format in the last stanza. I wrote the poem several years ago and I might have been a little careless on the last verse. If I revise it before the end of spring I will be sure to post it.
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