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Old 07-10-2005, 02:46 PM  
angel18
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Default Tell me what u think seriously please

She

She was a beautiful person to me
She was kind and caring
She always smiled when I’d see her
She would talk about all the things I loved

Little did she know I loved everything about her?
Little did she know I always talked about her?
Little by little I grew to love her more and more

If only I could see her now
If only I could remember her smile
If only I didn’t leave home
If only I had stayed and been with her

I wish I could turn back time
I want to come back home
I want her to be alive today

Why did she have to die?
Why was it so painful?
Why didn’t someone help her?
Why didn’t she live to see me today?

My life is not worth living
My life is not worth crying for
My life is so complicated
My life is incomplete without her

My life is not worth living
My life is not worth crying for
My life is so complicated
My life is incomplete without her
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Old 07-10-2005, 02:51 PM  
right-track
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I'd say you truly meant every single word of this. If it's not too personal a question, is this based on personal experience?
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Old 07-10-2005, 03:10 PM  
_The_Repeats_
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It's really good. I personally think maybe you should use more rhyme? That's up to preference though. My favourite line is "If only I could remember her smile..." 'Tis beautiful...keep going. And comment on mine if you like?
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Old 07-11-2005, 09:55 AM  
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Quote:
Originally Posted by right-track
is this based on personal experience?


Thats what it sounds like to me aswell.
Good though!
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Old 07-11-2005, 11:25 AM  
1337 Sam
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Good lyrics, very 'personal'.
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Hey if all the emo kids have 'killed themselves', then whats the point in bitching about them.
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Old 07-11-2005, 12:00 PM  
PerFeCTioNThrUSileNCe
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its a little too..."kill yourself"ish for my taste....and its a little repetitve...the poetry of it is nice though.
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But maybe I don't want to finish anything anymore..
maybe I can wait in bed 'til she comes home. and whispers....

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Old 07-11-2005, 02:08 PM  
angel18
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it's not actually based on an experience, it just popped into my head and i wrote it down so
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Old 07-11-2005, 02:30 PM  
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to me its repetitive and whiney, almost My chemical Romance isque


but keep truckin
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Old 07-12-2005, 08:22 AM  
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Quote:
Originally Posted by angel18
it's not actually based on an experience, it just popped into my head and i wrote it down so

thats what they all say..i bet she's hidden under the floorboards rite?
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Old 07-12-2005, 09:23 AM  
angel18
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u could say that yes
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