Advice, critic on song lyrics ~ Help out with song lyrics ~ - Music Banter Music Banter

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Old 01-24-2016, 12:54 PM   #1 (permalink)
Groupie
 
Join Date: Jan 2016
Posts: 1
Default Advice, critic on song lyrics ~ Help out with song lyrics ~

Hey everybody, I'm new to this site I just made an account, I really like everyone's vibe here you're all super chill and I love the way you all think. I'm recently getting into writing again, the thing is I've always written in a poetry kind of way, and when I imagine the words in a song it's a bit more difficult, I just kind of freeze. I'm trying to turn my words into a more song type of style, instead of them being so deep like poetry.

I just wrote this in the morning I'm just practicing - if you would like to add something to the song it would be very helpful as I'm having trouble slipping out of this direction of the song.

I'm just waiting to be wild,
I'm just waiting to be free & I see towards you,
I see towards you
Stuck in this chamber of memories,
I'm looking at you straight, you're looking the wrong way
& I see towards you

I realize it's a bit repetitive but the thing is I write with a tune in mind and it's hard for me to slip away from just that one tune.
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