Red And White. Good...average...really crap? (lyrics, vocalist, songs)

_The_Repeats_ · 07-26-2005, 04:34 PM

Thom sings this one...damn him (it sounds better with his voice, but I'm still going to strop). I wrote the lyrics though and the main riff, so you know... Let me know what you think, this one is a bit odd.

Red and white,
Red and white,
It must do something,
It must do something,

Borders and crossings,
Borders and crossings,
Mark where I can not go,
Mark where I can not go.

On routing I depend,
On routing I depend.

2, 3, 4...

These same old streets,
These same old streets,
That glow in the night,
That shimmer in the light.

But I miss you,
Yeah, I miss you.
The c and f,
The c and f.

On routing I depend,
On routing I depend.

My home is a safe,
Comfortable but restrictive pace,
My home is a safe,
Comfortable but restrictive pace,
My home is a safe,
Comfortable but restrictive pace,
My home is a safe,
Comfortable but restrictive pace,

On routing I depend,
On routing I depend,
On routing I depend…

Sshhh, just because I'm odd... >_<

TheBig3 · 07-27-2005, 09:45 AM

don't repeat, might work

Fenixpunk · 07-27-2005, 10:21 AM

the repeating could work well if you have 2 vocalists harmonizing going back and forth

TheBig3 · 07-28-2005, 06:43 PM

yeah thats not a bad idea Fenix but in moderation. If you did it that way (2 voices) and did it for the whole song, it would come off as a gimmick. Don't focus on rhyming or anything, get a melody and make it stick to that, no matter what you say it will come off alot more, "authentic" than if your force rhyme or in this case repeat. I don't think thats definitly what you were going for, but in case it was...

riseagainstrocks · 07-29-2005, 07:35 PM

the repitition was grating.

i like spazzy songs and this has the potential to be cool, but seriously, like Big said, drop almost all that repetition

07-26-2005, 04:34 PM	#1 (permalink)
_The_Repeats_ Music Addict Join Date: Jul 2005 Location: Oxford. Woo yeah. Ehem. Posts: 58	Red And White. Good...average...really crap? Thom sings this one...damn him (it sounds better with his voice, but I'm still going to strop). I wrote the lyrics though and the main riff, so you know... Let me know what you think, this one is a bit odd. Red and white, Red and white, It must do something, It must do something, Borders and crossings, Borders and crossings, Mark where I can not go, Mark where I can not go. On routing I depend, On routing I depend. 2, 3, 4... These same old streets, These same old streets, That glow in the night, That shimmer in the light. But I miss you, Yeah, I miss you. The c and f, The c and f. On routing I depend, On routing I depend. My home is a safe, Comfortable but restrictive pace, My home is a safe, Comfortable but restrictive pace, My home is a safe, Comfortable but restrictive pace, My home is a safe, Comfortable but restrictive pace, On routing I depend, On routing I depend, On routing I depend… Sshhh, just because I'm odd... >_< __________________ I never wanted to love you, but that's okay... I always knew that you'd leave me anyway. You're treading on awfully thin ice darling, it's so awfully thin. It's almost turning to water, as we speak. *~~#You.Are.Too.Far.Gone.^'\|\|¬.

07-27-2005, 09:45 AM	#2 (permalink)
TheBig3 killedmyraindog Join Date: Aug 2004 Location: Boston, Massachusetts Posts: 11,172	don't repeat, might work __________________ I've moved to a new address

07-27-2005, 10:21 AM	#3 (permalink)
Fenixpunk The Erroneous Hoodlum Join Date: Nov 2004 Location: West Side Phoenix Posts: 2,057	the repeating could work well if you have 2 vocalists harmonizing going back and forth __________________ This message has been approved by Shawn Erroneous - The Declaimed

07-28-2005, 06:43 PM	#4 (permalink)
TheBig3 killedmyraindog Join Date: Aug 2004 Location: Boston, Massachusetts Posts: 11,172	yeah thats not a bad idea Fenix but in moderation. If you did it that way (2 voices) and did it for the whole song, it would come off as a gimmick. Don't focus on rhyming or anything, get a melody and make it stick to that, no matter what you say it will come off alot more, "authentic" than if your force rhyme or in this case repeat. I don't think thats definitly what you were going for, but in case it was... __________________ I've moved to a new address

07-29-2005, 07:35 PM	#5 (permalink)
riseagainstrocks Music Addict Join Date: Feb 2004 Location: DC Posts: 3,320	the repitition was grating. i like spazzy songs and this has the potential to be cool, but seriously, like Big said, drop almost all that repetition __________________ One note timeless, came out of nowhere...