Judge me

Blank. · 09-03-2016, 12:25 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by _Violet_

As Blank would say...

The war wages on.

They're good lyrics if they're quotable.

Blank. · 10-03-2016, 05:22 PM

I look both ways
Only darkness
Hopeless
Are you lost like me?

Doctors without faces
Walking through these places
Can they see
The country boy in me

I beg you to pull the trigger
And pay the grave digger
His family needs to eat too
And I'm a waste of space like you

This one is nowhere near done. Any opinions?

**Frownland** · 10-03-2016, 11:24 PM

Don't be so concerned with trying to rhyme and you can make something sound very personal without using "I" and "me".

Blank. · 10-03-2016, 11:31 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Frownland

Don't be so concerned with trying to rhyme and you can make something sound very personal without using "I" and "me".

Noted. Thanks.

Delusions of Paranoia · 10-04-2016, 12:06 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by 1blankmind

I beg you to pull the trigger
And pay the grave digger
His family needs to eat too
And I'm a waste of space like you

I love this part

Blank. · 10-11-2016, 06:00 PM

Whatever happened to Alan Smithee? Is he alive?
IMDB says he's got new movies on the rise
But I'm pretty sure that's a lie.

Alan, if you hear me, will you let me know?
I miss the classics of Hellraiser and Burn Hollywood Burn.
You need to make more
I need more Alan Smithee films

Is Alan Smithee alive?

Ol’ Qwerty Bastard · 10-11-2016, 06:03 PM

im judging you

Blank. · 10-11-2016, 06:04 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Qwertyy

im judging you

As I do the same to you.

JonasCat · 10-28-2016, 05:46 AM

i think this are quiet good lyrics for a beginner song. dont let you iritate by musiciens who write this song in 5 minutes. I would say you are on a good way. Only thing is: write, write, sing, sing... Then you will get better and better. Try different subjects and music. Have fun!

JonasCat · 10-28-2016, 05:47 AM

But yeah, the dead flirt thing is a noGooo

hehe, i was laughing my ass off. But do your thing man. if these are your thoughts then write it!

10-03-2016, 11:24 PM	#23 (permalink)
Frownland SOPHIE FOREVER Join Date: Aug 2011 Location: East of the Southern North American West Posts: 35,548	Don't be so concerned with trying to rhyme and you can make something sound very personal without using "I" and "me". __________________ Studies show that when a given norm is changed in the face of the unchanging, the remaining contradictions will parallel the truth. d e a f b o x

10-03-2016, 05:22 PM	#22 (permalink)
Blank. Jacob Sartorius Join Date: May 2016 Location: Dank memes Posts: 4,034	I look both ways Only darkness Hopeless Are you lost like me? Doctors without faces Walking through these places Can they see The country boy in me I beg you to pull the trigger And pay the grave digger His family needs to eat too And I'm a waste of space like you This one is nowhere near done. Any opinions?

10-11-2016, 06:00 PM	#26 (permalink)
Blank. Jacob Sartorius Join Date: May 2016 Location: Dank memes Posts: 4,034	Whatever happened to Alan Smithee? Is he alive? IMDB says he's got new movies on the rise But I'm pretty sure that's a lie. Alan, if you hear me, will you let me know? I miss the classics of Hellraiser and Burn Hollywood Burn. You need to make more I need more Alan Smithee films Is Alan Smithee alive?

10-28-2016, 05:46 AM	#29 (permalink)
JonasCat Groupie Join Date: Oct 2016 Posts: 3	i think this are quiet good lyrics for a beginner song. dont let you iritate by musiciens who write this song in 5 minutes. I would say you are on a good way. Only thing is: write, write, sing, sing... Then you will get better and better. Try different subjects and music. Have fun!

10-28-2016, 05:47 AM	#30 (permalink)
JonasCat Groupie Join Date: Oct 2016 Posts: 3	But yeah, the dead flirt thing is a noGooo hehe, i was laughing my ass off. But do your thing man. if these are your thoughts then write it!