Razor Meets Wrist (title, show, quote, suicide, Harp)

Loser · 03-02-2007, 09:43 PM

Razor Meets Wrist

It’s such a pity
That life didn’t go her way
All the teenage angst built up
Only to have
The rug pulled from underneath
Her world fell apart
Emotionally battered and bruised
Her parents fell victim
To the reapers deadly touch
Immediate family gave her the cold shoulder
Labeled an outcast at school
Got pushed around like a leaf
When the wind gusts
She comes home
Kneels along side of her bed
Tears begin to pour down her cheeks
Yelling and pleading with god
To show a sign
That she belongs on this earth
The once sweet little girl
Turned bitter and cold
She resorted to pain
To fill the void in her life
When the sharp steel slices
Her wrist
It gives her a rush
Of so many emotions
When the wounds form a scar
It’s a tag that she’ll have for wear
For weeks to come
Reminding her that death
Was more bare able than her own life
Life didn’t go the way it should’ve
She sent that message loud and clear
I can only imagine what her life looked
Like when it flashed before her eyes
With one last cut of her wrist
And one last breath
She wasted away any obstacles
That couldn’t have been over come
When razor meets wrist
It’s a combination that
Unlocks an irreversible future
A future that always ends up with
A reading of a eulogy.

Some of the events are real things that happen in my life....Granted I am not a girl but I think it makes this piece way better than if it was a guy.

swim · 03-02-2007, 09:43 PM

Usurp Synapse is really good.

PaperHurricanesAndPlanes · 03-02-2007, 09:45 PM

Sorry, but the way this is written, not diggin' it. It's so "Woe is me" And the title...man...seriously?

Loser · 03-02-2007, 09:46 PM

Way it's written? what do you mean?

PaperHurricanesAndPlanes · 03-02-2007, 10:03 PM

Short lines and no punctuation. Plus how it's so "woe is me."

Loser · 03-02-2007, 10:05 PM

Yeah sorry about the punctuation I add that at the very end, this is still a draft. As for the woe is me thing I wasn't trying for that but thanks for your advice. There is always next time

~~TheUsedToolguy~~ · 03-02-2007, 10:25 PM

Quote:

She wasted away any obstacles
That couldn’t have been over come

I like that, knowing that life is an ever adventurous challenge, sometimes you don't feel up for it, I'm not saying I condone suicide or thoughts like that, but who hasn't thought that before? It's truth. Plain and simple.

riseagainstrocks · 03-02-2007, 11:09 PM

I think you should carry out this whole thread. Especially the title portion.

PaperHurricanesAndPlanes · 03-02-2007, 11:10 PM

Hahahahaha. That was cold, man. I also didn't know you ventured round these parts.

acratertocoffin · 03-03-2007, 12:05 AM

This reminds me of those Myspace bulletins that are like, "No girl should have to go through this." In fact, Ethan posted one on here.

Saetia

Still gives me the giggles.

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03-02-2007, 09:43 PM
Loser The Professor Join Date: Jan 2007 Location: New York City Posts: 1,138	Razor Meets Wrist Razor Meets Wrist It’s such a pity That life didn’t go her way All the teenage angst built up Only to have The rug pulled from underneath Her world fell apart Emotionally battered and bruised Her parents fell victim To the reapers deadly touch Immediate family gave her the cold shoulder Labeled an outcast at school Got pushed around like a leaf When the wind gusts She comes home Kneels along side of her bed Tears begin to pour down her cheeks Yelling and pleading with god To show a sign That she belongs on this earth The once sweet little girl Turned bitter and cold She resorted to pain To fill the void in her life When the sharp steel slices Her wrist It gives her a rush Of so many emotions When the wounds form a scar It’s a tag that she’ll have for wear For weeks to come Reminding her that death Was more bare able than her own life Life didn’t go the way it should’ve She sent that message loud and clear I can only imagine what her life looked Like when it flashed before her eyes With one last cut of her wrist And one last breath She wasted away any obstacles That couldn’t have been over come When razor meets wrist It’s a combination that Unlocks an irreversible future A future that always ends up with A reading of a eulogy. Some of the events are real things that happen in my life....Granted I am not a girl but I think it makes this piece way better than if it was a guy. __________________ "It's just so fuckin' weird. You write about this shit, and you're suddenly the spokesman for a fuckin' generation,...... Any generation that would pick Kurt or me as its spokesman -- that must be a pretty fucked up generation, don't you think?"

03-02-2007, 09:43 PM
swim Everyone Does Everything. Join Date: Apr 2006 Location: coastal plain North Carolina Posts: 4,396	Usurp Synapse is really good. __________________ you should be ashamed to be so proud of what you got http://www.mediafire.com/?ryxhwjmb1y9 http://www.mediafire.com/?g4wzjzjz1gu

03-02-2007, 09:45 PM
PaperHurricanesAndPlanes Bad motherfücker Join Date: Jan 2007 Location: In The Realms of Poetry Posts: 520	Sorry, but the way this is written, not diggin' it. It's so "Woe is me" And the title...man...seriously? __________________ Say what again motherfucker, I double dare you, say what one mo' goddamned time!

03-02-2007, 09:46 PM
Loser The Professor Join Date: Jan 2007 Location: New York City Posts: 1,138	Way it's written? what do you mean? __________________ "It's just so fuckin' weird. You write about this shit, and you're suddenly the spokesman for a fuckin' generation,...... Any generation that would pick Kurt or me as its spokesman -- that must be a pretty fucked up generation, don't you think?"

03-02-2007, 10:03 PM
PaperHurricanesAndPlanes Bad motherfücker Join Date: Jan 2007 Location: In The Realms of Poetry Posts: 520	Short lines and no punctuation. Plus how it's so "woe is me." __________________ Say what again motherfucker, I double dare you, say what one mo' goddamned time!

03-02-2007, 10:05 PM
Loser The Professor Join Date: Jan 2007 Location: New York City Posts: 1,138	Yeah sorry about the punctuation I add that at the very end, this is still a draft. As for the woe is me thing I wasn't trying for that but thanks for your advice. There is always next time __________________ "It's just so fuckin' weird. You write about this shit, and you're suddenly the spokesman for a fuckin' generation,...... Any generation that would pick Kurt or me as its spokesman -- that must be a pretty fucked up generation, don't you think?"

03-02-2007, 11:09 PM
riseagainstrocks Music Addict Join Date: Feb 2004 Location: JMU Posts: 3,143	I think you should carry out this whole thread. Especially the title portion. __________________ www.siegemusic.blogspot.com One note timeless, came out of nowhere...

03-02-2007, 11:10 PM
PaperHurricanesAndPlanes Bad motherfücker Join Date: Jan 2007 Location: In The Realms of Poetry Posts: 520	Hahahahaha. That was cold, man. I also didn't know you ventured round these parts. __________________ Say what again motherfucker, I double dare you, say what one mo' goddamned time!