My name is Gibbons (cover, quote, song)

~~TheUsedToolguy~~ · 03-06-2007, 06:58 PM

I will now attempt a poem-

There was a sea, that looked really wacky,
it was moonlit, and purply waving,
I heard some mosquitoes and stuff,
out by the lake I was near,
I covered myself in bug repellent,
because I hold my skin dear,
I think I hear a noise,
and wonder if it is a bear or something,
I keep hearing noises,
what is that dumb thing,
I ask to myself, and I start to get up,
then I sit back down, deciding it's all OK,
then the noise is closer,
my survival instincts take over,
I will not die tonight by Lake Grover,
and I run to see behind the tree,
and there is nothing, nothing to see,
so I feel much better and as I sit back down,
I take a deep breath and I look around,
and I see another couple on the other side of the lake,
they're laughing at me, because of my ways,
I decide to go home at that point,
that lake wasn't a fun joint

~~Mamagarmr~~ · 03-06-2007, 08:17 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by TheUsedToolguy

I will now attempt a poem-

There was a sea, that looked really wacky,
it was moonlit, and purply waving,
I heard some mosquitoes and stuff,
out by the lake I was near,
I covered myself in bug repellent,
because I hold my skin dear,
I think I hear a noise,
and wonder if it is a bear or something,
I keep hearing noises,
what is that dumb thing,
I ask to myself, and I start to get up,
then I sit back down, deciding it's all OK,
then the noise is closer,
my survival instincts take over,
I will not die tonight by Lake Grover,
and I run to see behind the tree,
and there is nothing, nothing to see,
so I feel much better and as I sit back down,
I take a deep breath and I look around,
and I see another couple on the other side of the lake,
they're laughing at me, because of my ways,
I decide to go home at that point,
that lake wasn't a fun joint

bold = painfully bad

sound slike a kid song

~~TheUsedToolguy~~ · 03-06-2007, 08:31 PM

I was attempting a style more a la most of the stuff I read on here

PaperHurricanesAndPlanes · 03-06-2007, 08:35 PM

Psh. This is terrible. Who uses wacky and stuff in a poem? Terrible rhyming, terrible content.

~~TheUsedToolguy~~ · 03-06-2007, 08:38 PM

I appreciate your opinion hurriplain, it was my attempt at something a little, how do you say, uh, oh yeah, awesome

~~THERACONTEUR21~~ · 03-07-2007, 12:14 AM

its funny. oyu can tell really who knows how to right and who dont
give the guya break it means something to him or he wouldnt have wrote it
since you guys are perfectionists will you spell check this
peace

jibber · 03-07-2007, 12:22 AM

haha, i actually found it funny, good job on that dude

(i'm guessing you attempted a sarcastic joke with this one, at least i hope so).

and theraconteur21, spell check your own posts. If english isn't your first language, i apologize, if it is, for the love of god pay more attention in school.

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03-06-2007, 06:58 PM
~~TheUsedToolguy~~ Account Disabled Join Date: Feb 2007 Location: Joplin, MO Posts: 482	My name is Gibbons I will now attempt a poem- There was a sea, that looked really wacky, it was moonlit, and purply waving, I heard some mosquitoes and stuff, out by the lake I was near, I covered myself in bug repellent, because I hold my skin dear, I think I hear a noise, and wonder if it is a bear or something, I keep hearing noises, what is that dumb thing, I ask to myself, and I start to get up, then I sit back down, deciding it's all OK, then the noise is closer, my survival instincts take over, I will not die tonight by Lake Grover, and I run to see behind the tree, and there is nothing, nothing to see, so I feel much better and as I sit back down, I take a deep breath and I look around, and I see another couple on the other side of the lake, they're laughing at me, because of my ways, I decide to go home at that point, that lake wasn't a fun joint

03-06-2007, 08:31 PM
~~TheUsedToolguy~~ Account Disabled Join Date: Feb 2007 Location: Joplin, MO Posts: 482	I was attempting a style more a la most of the stuff I read on here

03-06-2007, 08:35 PM
PaperHurricanesAndPlanes Bad motherfücker Join Date: Jan 2007 Location: In The Realms of Poetry Posts: 518	Psh. This is terrible. Who uses wacky and stuff in a poem? Terrible rhyming, terrible content. __________________ Say what again motherfucker, I double dare you, say what one mo' goddamned time!

03-06-2007, 08:38 PM
~~TheUsedToolguy~~ Account Disabled Join Date: Feb 2007 Location: Joplin, MO Posts: 482	I appreciate your opinion hurriplain, it was my attempt at something a little, how do you say, uh, oh yeah, awesome

03-07-2007, 12:14 AM
~~THERACONTEUR21~~ Account Disabled Join Date: Mar 2007 Location: PIKEVILLE KY Posts: 41	i atleast appreciate him taking the time its funny. oyu can tell really who knows how to right and who dont give the guya break it means something to him or he wouldnt have wrote it since you guys are perfectionists will you spell check this peace

03-07-2007, 12:22 AM
jibber Freeskier Join Date: Jan 2004 Location: Canuckistan Posts: 1,322	haha, i actually found it funny, good job on that dude (i'm guessing you attempted a sarcastic joke with this one, at least i hope so). and theraconteur21, spell check your own posts. If english isn't your first language, i apologize, if it is, for the love of god pay more attention in school. __________________ What you've done becomes the judge of what you're going to do -- especially in other people's minds. When you're traveling, you are what you are right there and then. People don't have your past to hold against you. No yesterdays on the road. William Least Heat Moon, Blue Highways Your toughest competitor lives in your head. Some days his name is fear, or pain, or gravity. Stomp his ass. HOOKED ON THE WHITE POWDER