Go Back   Music Banter > Artists Corner > Song Writing, Lyrics and Poetry
Register Blogging Search Today's Posts Mark Forums Read

Welcome to Music Banter Forum! Make sure to register - it's free and very quick! You have to register before you can post and participate in our discussions with over 17,000 other registered members. After you create your free account, you will be able to customize many options, you will have the full access to over 300,000 posts.

Reply
 
Thread Tools Display Modes
Old 03-08-2007, 01:45 PM  
Alo
Scarf
 
Alo's Avatar
 
Join Date: May 2006
Posts: 717
Send a message via MSN to Alo
Default rest in peace, you’re done

A guy I knew jumped off a building, I wrote this for him:

I cry for you bravery
Your sadness, your despair
For how you saw no other way
Because your life was so unfair

I imagine you standing at he edge
Clasping the rail tight
Then slowly loosening your grip
Stuck in a moral fight

Then letting go
The jump
The fall
The single thought
‘I’m done’

It’s over now, we’ll cry for you, rest in peace, you’re done.
__________________
I rocked my shoelaces untied
Alo is offline   Reply With Quote
Old 03-09-2007, 02:38 AM  
ZeppelinAir
hahahHAHAHahaha.......ha
 
ZeppelinAir's Avatar
 
Join Date: Jun 2006
Location: somewhere in Michigan
Posts: 544
Default

you miss spelled the^^^

its pretty good, short and to the point wish there was more imagery though
__________________
Little Things

"Sittin on a Toilet in a house i dont know, looking all around where the toilet paper go. feeling real uneasy, feeling real uncertain, got to wipe my ass again with a plastic shower curtain" Rodney Carrington-Little Things
ZeppelinAir is offline   Reply With Quote
Old 03-09-2007, 02:42 AM  
sleepy jack
Bone Machine
 
sleepy jack's Avatar
 
Join Date: Nov 2004
Location: Jesusland
Posts: 17,244
Default

I like the simpleness, but then again it also seems like it could be a good deal more. I can't explain it.
__________________
You're so evil and I'm so good,
I'll make it up to you someday.
sleepy jack is offline   Reply With Quote
Old 03-09-2007, 04:46 AM  
Alo
Scarf
 
Alo's Avatar
 
Join Date: May 2006
Posts: 717
Send a message via MSN to Alo
Default

Quote:
Originally Posted by ZeppelinAir View Post
you miss spelled the^^^

its pretty good, short and to the point wish there was more imagery though
Where? If you mean then, it wasn't misspelled, I meant then.

Quote:
Originally Posted by Crowquill View Post
I like the simpleness, but then again it also seems like it could be a good deal more. I can't explain it.
I wish it were more, I feel so much more around this all. I just can't seem to put it into words. It just hurts, that he hated himself and his life so much. He was a great guy.
__________________
I rocked my shoelaces untied
Alo is offline   Reply With Quote
Old 03-09-2007, 07:23 PM  
ZeppelinAir
hahahHAHAHahaha.......ha
 
ZeppelinAir's Avatar
 
Join Date: Jun 2006
Location: somewhere in Michigan
Posts: 544
Default

Quote:
Originally Posted by Alo View Post
A guy I knew jumped off a building, I wrote this for him:

I cry for you bravery
Your sadness, your despair
For how you saw no other way
Because your life was so unfair

I imagine you standing at he edge
Clasping the rail tight
Then slowly loosening your grip
Stuck in a moral fight

Then letting go
The jump
The fall
The single thought
‘I’m done’

It’s over now, we’ll cry for you, rest in peace, you’re done.
right there, should have pointed it out better
__________________
Little Things

"Sittin on a Toilet in a house i dont know, looking all around where the toilet paper go. feeling real uneasy, feeling real uncertain, got to wipe my ass again with a plastic shower curtain" Rodney Carrington-Little Things
ZeppelinAir is offline   Reply With Quote
Reply
Thread Tools
Display Modes

Similar Threads



© 2008 Advameg, Inc.

SEO by vBSEO 3.0.0 RC8 ©2007, Crawlability, Inc.