|
|||||||
| Register | Blogging | Search | Today's Posts | Mark Forums Read |
Welcome to Music Banter Forum! Make sure to register - it's free and very quick! You have to register before you can post and participate in our discussions with over 17,000 other registered members. After you create your free account, you will be able to customize many options, you will have the full access to over 300,000 posts. |
|
|
Thread Tools | Display Modes |
03-19-2007, 10:48 PM
|
||
|
Bancount: 3
Join Date: Oct 2006
Location: Boston
Posts: 879
 |
Villanelle: Babylon's Folly
Birds borne on broken wings
Cast from heaven to drink asphalt And nest upon the crowns of kings. Dirge and hymn alike both bring The waves, the masses, crashing in, Born to drown beneath the din. Hosts of limbs and rotting things Descend from clouds in waves to plague And nest upon the crowns of kings. A thousand voices swell to sing, But empty hearts weave feeble hymns, Born to drown beneath the din. Heaven weeps and angels cringe; Crows rejoice and beat their wings And nest upon the crowns of kings. Babylon now sleeps with Him, While roots swallow the once-living, Born to drown beneath the din, And nest upon the crowns of kings.
__________________
Quote:
www.myspace.com/xlaststrawx Last edited by enemyat_thesix : 03-19-2007 at 10:57 PM. |
|
|
|
|
03-19-2007, 10:51 PM
|
||
|
Bone Machine
Join Date: Nov 2004
Location: Jesusland
Posts: 17,191
|
"And crows rejoice and beat their wings" the first and there is unnecessary.
Its raelly good, I don't have much else to add.
__________________
Quote:
|
|
|
|
|
|
03-19-2007, 10:57 PM
|
||
|
Bancount: 3
Join Date: Oct 2006
Location: Boston
Posts: 879
|
ah, i agree; thanks; i'll replace the 'and' with a semi-colon. this was for a poetry project i had to do in one of my dual enrollment english classes.
__________________
Quote:
www.myspace.com/xlaststrawx |
|
|
|
|
Linear Mode
